Child Sexual Abuse: A Silent Epidemic

By Christianah Akindolie

Child sexual abuse is an epidemic eating deep into the society. It is becoming normal to read and hear about it in the media. What makes it more terrible is that many adults are ignorant of the fact that every child is vulnerable to this social canker and that they are expected to be protectors of the victims - Children.

This book provides firsthand information to anyone who wants to know about child sexual abuse. You will find in this book true life stories to bring to bear the realities of child sexual abuse.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Jan 17, 2013
• ISBN: 9781479714940

Christianah Akindolie

Mrs Christianah Akindolie is the Founder and Project Co-ordinator of Christianah Fate Foundation. She started tutoring children in Church at a very young age through the influence of her father - Late Bishop Emmanuel Adegoke. She has nurtured many children (now adults) through her exceptional and innovative teaching styles. Christianah educates children and adults in Churches, Schools, Conferences and Seminars on child sexual abuse awareness and prevention. She is the Author of a well accepted book titled CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE A HANDBOOK FOR CHILDREN. She is married to Pastor Olugbemi and they are blessed with lovely children.

Book preview

Copyright © 2012 by Christianah Akindolie.

ISBN:          Softcover                                 978-1-4797-1493-3

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4797-1494-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

0-800-644-6988

www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk

[e-mail]

304888

Contents

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

FOREWORD

CHAPTER ONE      FACTS ABOUT CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

•   INTRODUCTION ISABEL’S STORY

•   FACTS ABOUT CSA

•   TYPES OF CHILD ABUSE

CHAPTER TWO      WHAT IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE?

•   INTRODUCTION MRS. KOMOLAFE’S STORY

•   CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

•   WHAT IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE?

•   Physical Contact (Touch)

•   Non-Physical Contact (non-touch)

CHAPTER THREE      CHILD SEXUAL ABUSERS

•   INTRODUCTION

MRS. DEJI’S STORY

•   CHILD SEXUAL ABUSERS

•   THE STRANGERS

•   RELATIVES

•   FRIENDS OF THE FAMILY

CHAPTER FOUR      WARNINGS SIGNS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

•   INTRODUCTION MRS. LAWAL’S STORY

•   WARNING SIGNS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

CHAPTER FIVE      TYPES OF BEHAVIOUR TO WATCH OUT FOR WHEN ADULTS ARE WITH CHILDREN

•   INTRODUCTION FRED’S STORY

•   TYPES OF BEHAVIOUR TO WATCH OUT FOR WHEN ADULTS ARE WITH YOUR CHILDREN

CHAPTER SIX      EFFECTS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

•   INTRODUCTION VIVIAN’S STORY

•   EFFECTS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

•   IMMEDIATE EFFECTS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

•   EFFECT ON THE VICTIM’S FAMILY

•   THE SEXUAL ABUSER

CHAPTER SEVEN      STEPS TO PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM SEXUAL ABUSE

•   INTRODUCTION EJIRO’S STORY

•   STEPS TO PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM SEXUAL ABUSE

•   EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN

•   TEACH YOUR CHILD THE PROPER NAMES OF THEIR PRIVATE BODY PARTS

•   TEACH YOUR CHILD DEFENSIVE SKILLS

•   TEACH YOUR CHILD WHEN TO SAY NO

•   TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT KEEPING SECRETS

CHAPTER EIGHT      WHY CHILDREN DON’T TELL

•   FEAR OF REMEMBERING

•   FEAR OF LOSING LOVE

•   FEELINGS OF GUILT AND SHAME

•   FEAR OF NOT BEING BELIEVED

•   FEAR OF BEING BLAMED

•   FEAR OF FURTHER HARM

CHAPTER NINE      RESPONSE TO CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

•   INTRODUCTION TOMI’S STORY

•   RESPONSE TO CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

•   STAY CALM

•   LISTEN ATTENTIVELY

•   PRAISE THE CHILD

•   ASSURE THE CHILD OF SAFETY

•   DO NOT PASS BLAME

•   SEEK MEDICAL AND HELP

CHAPTER TEN      THE ROLE OF PARENTS

•   INTRODUCTION BOLA’S STORY

•   THE ROLE OF PARENTS

•   COMMUNICATION

•   SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CHILD

CHAPTER ELEVEN      THE CHILD SEXUAL ABUSER: BREAKING THE SILENCE

•   YOU NEED HELP!!!

CHAPTER TWELVE      THE ABUSED

•   INTRODUCTION SHADE’S STORY

•   HOW SLEEP-OVER TOOK MY DIGNITY

•   EMMANUELLA’S STORY

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DEDICATION

For always being there for me, I dedicate this book to my family.

Sometimes my ideas could sound awkward, but they never doubted me.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Special thanks to my husband, companion and friend—Pastor Olugbemi Akindolie whose understanding contributed to the birthing of this Book and Ministry. I am grateful for my mum, Mrs Cecilia Adegoke who has been a source of inspiration since the death of my father.

I am thankful to the following people for seeing my vision and helping me to pursue my dreams:

My siblings Raphael, Mary-Anne, Pius, Tobi, Serah, Toyin without whom I could not have achieved so much at a very short time. Your encouragement spurred me to move on despite several setbacks.

Lola, Nike, Alfred, Ola and Femi (my in-laws) I really appreciate your love and concern.

Lara Gbonigi, my Editor who keeps encouraging me to publish the book—thank you for your labour of love.

Pastors Femi & Morin Obaweya of The Redeemed Christian Church of God, Promised Land Parish, for their spiritual support and encouragement.

All Staff, Volunteers and Partners of Christianah Fate Foundation, your dedication and contributions to our vision are priceless.

Dr. Princess Olufemi-Kayode, whose eagerness and selfless service to bring succour to the abused, has added steam to my engine to pursue excellence in my vision to see every child free of any form of abuse.

Dr. Bisi Abiola, your simplicity and friendliness makes you stand out always. Thanks for accepting to write the Forward even at