It Is Forbidden: The Untold Story of Child Rape Survival

By Jai

This book is about a story of a little girl who was molested and raped by her uncle (through marriage); and how she was able to move beyond the pain of her childhood into adulthood. It describes experiences throughout her life of choices she's made as a result of her pain; and what provoked her to change her mindset in order to transition from victim to survivor of child rape. One of the greatest lessons in life: Our past can either define us or refine us.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jul 3, 2015
• ISBN: 9781329312487

Book preview

It Is Forbidden: The Untold Story of Child Rape Survival

It is Forbidden: The Untold Story of Child Rape Survival By Jai

Copyright © 2013 by Jamie Y. Timmons. All Rights Reserved. ISBN 978-1-329-31248-7

The things you read in this book are not from any other source but my own experience. You will know my most intimate thoughts, some of which have never been verbalized — all of which I have lived. All events are true and are expressed as such.

NOTE: The names and places in this book have been changed for the sake of confidentiality.

Preface

I don’t think I will ever get over being molested and sexually abused before I even reached the double digits in age. It was a very traumatic experience, and it’s unfortunate that it happened at such a young age — an age where I could not comprehend what was happening nor defend myself.

I am not a certified psychologist, nor have I ever studied psychology. I only know what I know because this is my life and no one else’s. In saying such, this book is about my journey through life and relationships. It is about how I discovered the real ME. Yes, I know there are many motivational books out there on this very subject: discovering yourself or becoming a better you. So many books have been published on child rape or other horrific and tragic situations. However, please be clear that this book is not an attempt towards financial gain or fame.

On the contrary, this book was written with two purposes in mind: (1) healing for myself — to get what happened to me OUT of me and begin this long road to recovery, and (2) an attempt to expose this horrible act that’s done in the dark and takes place so frequently within families, often overlooked or avoided.

This book is an attempt to expose signs of when a child is being hurt, but does not have the wherewithal to scream help. This is what happened to me, and it could be happening to someone you know (or maybe even to you). It even goes further than just being abused, but how to survive, for life is all about survival.

This book is an attempt to be the voice of the young child crying out in the dark, yet no one can hear her/his screams. This book is a call to action. Please read with an open heart.

Here’s the deal: most victims are abused by someone they know and trust. There have been studies that claim every minute, a child is molested or raped. Reports of hundreds, even thousands, of children are sexually abused per year! By the time this book is published, the number of child molesters in the U.S. would have doubled, possibly even tripled.

What’s even more shocking is most children do not report that they have been abused. Even I didn’t tell anyone when I was five because I assumed that everyone knew and that it was okay. There were times when other members of my family were in the same room and there were times when it was our little secret. Research shows that over 30% never discloses the abuse to anyone. Think about that.

The next victim could be you, or your child, or your mother, or your friend, or your favorite salesman at the fish market, or someone else you know and care about. Someone has to speak out. Someone has to do something.

That is my purpose. To be that voice of the scared little girl or boy who’s being taken advantage of by someone who were expected to love him/her. My family was afraid to speak up and speak out for me and my sister and my cousins; but I am not. I am no longer afraid to call a wolf what he or she is; and that is what we need in this world – someone to stand up for those who are not able to fight for themselves.

Part One: In The Beginning

~

The memories of my childhood resurfaced April 2005. I was 28-years-old. The day began like any other day. I had in hand my morning cup of Starbucks espresso beverage--tall caramel macchiato--and I was sitting in front of the computer at my small and cozy work desk. I had worked at this research consulting firm for a little over a year, and had found comfort with being an administrative assistant to one of the newly appointed vice presidents. Life was good.

I was happily married to a man who knew how to take care of his family and me. We