Innocence Lost: The Sexualization of Children in America

By Joseph Martin

This book is written for the purpose of glorifying the gospel of Jesus Christ. The sexual abuse and misuse of children is rampant in today's society. Unless believers in the true gospel of Jesus Christ have an enlightened viewpoint on this matter from the scriptures themselves,they run the danger of discussing this matter on the "world's" terms using language and ideas dictated to them by the darkness of an unbelieving society in which they live. The abuse of children needs immediate attention from those interested not just in the act itself, but the spiritual influences and implications behind the act. The abuser and the victim both need redemption from this present evil through the hope in Jesus Christ.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 15, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481708937

Joseph Martin

Joseph Martin was born in Dorset, England. He joined the Royal Navy in 1961, leaving in 1974 to join the Merchant Navy as a radio officer. He moved to France in 1987 and opened a toy shop in Mirepoix, Ariège in southwestern France, making all the wooden toys himself as well as the artwork. After Joseph retired in 2009, he visited Morocco many winters in a campervan, where he decided to write this book while locked down for six months.

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© 2013 by Joseph Martin. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 04/05/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-0852-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-0853-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-0893-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013900935

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

References

Endnotes

Introduction

This book is dedicated to all the survivors. My sincere hope is that you will find grace in the One who survived and overcame all, to the glory of God.

On a cool, clear evening, I pulled up to the red brick house. The yellow light streaming through the glass door panes stood in stark contrast to the darkness outside. Inside, a woman sat looking at a computer screen. Suddenly, a young teenage girl appeared, as I watched the whole event through the lighted pane as though I were watching characters entering a stage. The girl kissed the woman with an affection uniquely known between mother and child. The unspoken but obvious was observed: she was still her mother’s little girl. She was still an innocent child, who though like most kids today had a temporal knowledge of things in this world, was still innocent in her experience of things. Her mother purposely manipulated the exposure in this girl’s life to make it as such.

As the girl entered the church van, I noticed she was no longer the same child she was two years ago, when she first started coming to church. Her face had more features to it, having lost the chubby baby fat look. She had acne. She was fixing her hair and wearing slight makeup. She was also starting to develop physically into a young woman.

At this point, I suppose there are usually two reactions, and both of them reflect the overreaction of a society that knows no self-imposed moral boundaries anymore. The first would be the reviled shock that a grown man would notice the physical appearance (development) of a young teenaged girl. This is the victim mentality so often championed by the ultra-pious and the far-left feminist, who see all men as pigs just waiting to take advantage of some unsuspecting female. The second reaction would be one of the perverse individual who would secretly agree, Yeah, I noticed it too. Did you also notice… ? Along these same lines would be the Freudian reaction, the non-judgmental type who would tacitly agree that men do notice teenage girls and shouldn’t apply any artificial moral boundaries to what is completely normal. I have a different story to tell.

What I noticed about the sweet scene before my eyes was a young girl growing up still needing the security of a mother willing to provide it. The obvious unspoken dynamics were observed in the subtleties of the moment. The girl sought out her mother before leaving the brightly lit house. The mother reached up and with one arm half embraced the girl for the kiss. It was as if the mother were saying, I know I have to let you go now, outside my created security and boundary, but you’re still mine. I still love you and hope others will honor those boundaries I created out of my love for you. I hope that if you consider going outside those boundaries when presented the opportunity, you will reconsider, remembering that love and security you always knew inside of those boundaries. The child, incidentally, expressed her appreciation of those boundaries and the one who set them by seeking out the assurance the embrace offered. There was a lot said there without me hearing one word being uttered. Having spent the past 12 years of my life working with children, both as a working professional and a volunteer, I notice a lot of non-verbal interaction between children and adults. As for my own reaction, it can be generally summed up by the words of the New Testament writer James¹. It is not merely what I see that entices me, but what I choose to think upon seeing. I think that this child, like all children, is a gift from God and a moral obligation. Parents who trust me to take their children for three hours (commuting and church time) every week are not trusting me with just the physical well-being, but also their moral well-being. This idea is seemingly lost among too many adults today. This is unfortunately true even of church groups, schools, and civic organizations when it comes to the sexualizing of children.

Just because I am a person with sexuality and children who are maturing sexually as teenagers is not an excuse for me to overlook the importance of their God-given humanity: that they are created as living souls. Because I view these children as living souls before God, and not merely flesh and blood, I can escape a utilitarian view of them. This does not mean that I as a man would not notice the physical attraction of young women. It does mean, however, that I view them in terms of their meaning before God, not their meaning to my normal or otherwise base desire. In other words, even if I were tempted, even if I allow myself for one moment to think upon the physical attributes of a sexually mature or maturing teenager, I am able to judge these thoughts morally. The fact of the matter is, far too many adults have accepted the idea that there is no reason to do this in considering the sexuality of children. Failing to judge these thoughts morally enables feelings of desire, either in themselves or others. It very much seems to me that our society, much of which still espouses the Judeo-Christian idea of young children as innocent, very much eschews this idea when the children mature sexually as teenagers. The moral and spiritual aspects of their sexual existence seem insignificant to those trying to make teens aware of their sexuality. All this has led to more open acceptance of those who entertain their sexual desires toward adolescents. It also has encouraged the very sick desire of those inclined toward pre-pubescent children. This book seeks to explore the moral, political, and social changes that have taken place in our society that have led to a current climate where children are shamelessly sexualized and their moral innocence is trivialized. It also intends to paint a clear picture of how society can protect these children again by acknowledging that God created children in their spiritual and physical beings.

Chapter 1

The Individuals

So much of what goes on regarding the sexualization of children is justified by victimizing them. In other words, the ideas that are used to desensitize society to moral standards of sexuality for kids makes us believe we victimize them by keeping them innocent. The sex education and/or contraception argument for kids is most famous for this approach: If you don’t agree to give these kids a condom, you’re going to be responsible for them getting a disease or pregnant. Another variation of this argument is to say that by not fully exposing kids to all forms of sexuality, by disapproving of sexual behavior through moral judgment, we only encourage kids to seek the forbidden fruits. I, of course, would love to see this same logic applied to violence, firearms use or smoking, since so many of the very same people who are so accepting of sexualizing children for their own good are often so rigidly intolerant of politically incorrect behaviors. This chapter seeks to portray the real-life stories of children who are victims of this new logic, where children learn right and wrong based on political rather than moral boundaries set by adults. The following are testimonies of wounded souls with often tragic endings.²

Megan

Megan was a pretty girl with chestnut hair and large brown eyes. She was about 13 when I first met her as a foster child of a friend from church. I first got to know her because of my involvement with the church youth group as a teacher’s aide. Megan’s other sister and a cousin were also in foster care. All three came from a family in which sexual molestation had occurred.

All three of these girls were now in my youth group. Megan was the most open and outspoken about the abuse. I did not know it at the time, but this extroverted attitude about her abuse was actually a sign of a larger problem. Since dealing with her, I have seen many times what I believe is a problem with therapists and counselors. Perhaps never having been abused themselves, they tell these victims to talk about it because it will only feel better when they get it out in the open. I suppose this may work well with passing kidney stones, but it still hurts unbearably as they are passing and I wouldn’t just pass a stone wherever I am at the time just because I know it has to be done. I have often run into kids who simply rattle off the dirty details of their abuse, even being able to tell me how it affected them, like they were telling me the box scores from a ballgame. I truly believe they would tell this same information to anyone there at the time, and yet one can be deceived into thinking this person just opened up to me. No, this person just stated what they’ve been told they should think. The fact that they could so coldly relate the most intimate details of such a personal indignity is a sure sign of emotional callousness. There is no success in just getting the person to talk about it when we fail to acknowledge the spiritual harm that’s been done to one of God’s precious creations.

Many times my friend would relate to me what issues were being dealt with in the counseling sessions. I remember when I became a van driver for the church, I would drop these girls off and Megan would stay behind to speak to me. She too would relate what was going on in counseling, and oftentimes events going at home. Because my friend was a strict disciplinarian, there were many power struggles that went on. Megan’s sister was especially bullheaded and strong-willed. She did not display the kind of emotional vulnerability that Megan did. She was street smart, tough and thoroughly defiant to authority.

I tried desperately to give spiritual counseling to Megan. I would listen and be sympathetic as often as she wanted to talk, no matter what else I had going on. I would try to relate to her things I understood personally, and how Christ offers hope to anyone suffering from abuse. I would often use scripture such as Isaiah 53:5³ to explain that Christ understands suffering because He suffered. I would explain that He rose from the dead after being beaten, publicly humiliated and crucified. Because He now lives after all that, we also can overcome all things because of His willingness to give us the victory He claimed on our behalf. His love overcomes every bit of man’s cruelty and mean intent, because He died and took the punishment for it all. That means He can overcome even the hurt