Confessions of a Sex Offender

By Paul Stryker

Confessions of a Sex Offender chronicles the spiral decline of a man trapped in the arms of pornography. His depravation led him to the most heinous crime of child pornography. Through a prison sentence and treatment, his life has been renewed. This book reaches out to those who may also be trapped in the web of child pornography and encourages them to seek help for their obsession.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 11, 2014
• ISBN: 9781491854778

Paul Stryker

I had never been in trouble before. No record of any kind. Not even a traffic ticket. Then one day that all changed when the FBI came calling. I was soon arrested and charged with possession of child pornography on my computer. I lost 4 years of my life but I gained a deeper insight into it through completion of an 18-month sex offender treatment program. I now subscribe to their philosophy of “No more victims”. I want all who read this to understand how easy it is to fall into the trap of pornography. If an offender reads this, I want him/her to be pro-active in getting treatment. There is help available! I live in Cincinnati, Ohio. I have never married nor do I have any children. I am currently a college student. I enjoy photography, movies, and music.

Book preview

Chapter One

My name is Paul and I’m a sex offender.

I was not born this way. I was cultivated by circumstance and my own poor personal choices. To say that I’m a nice guy who simply made a mistake would be to compartmentalize my problem. Making a list of all the positive things I’ve done or accomplished cannot excuse my poor choices. I must accept and take responsibility for my actions. To recognize and claim my poor choices is the first step to managing my sexual deviance.

This is my story. It is my hope that you will be able to find some parallel between us – some measure of understanding. Perhaps as you read this you will be able to say, I know what he’s talking about. That happened to me, too or I feel the same way. Friend, let me encourage you. You are not alone. There are organizations that you can turn to for help. In the back of this book, you will find contact information for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) as well as other organizations geared toward the protection of children and support of victims of abuse. Also listed are resources to help those who are dealing with an unnatural affection towards children. Even the offender has a chance for redemption. No one is too far removed to be helped. We can stop the cycle.

My Childhood and Sexual History

In January of 1966, I was born at Bethesda Hospital, Cincinnati, Ohio. I was my parents’ first child. My mother was Christian while my father was agnostic. This proved to be a rather destructive pairing as far as I was concerned.

My father was a hard disciplinarian who sometimes approached, but never crossed, the lines between correction and physical abuse. However, he would often verbally abuse me – berating me to the point of tears. So often I heard that I was worthless or that I’d never amount to anything. Soon, these became life mantras. I believed them. Why try? I’ll just fail anyway.

During this time, my mother was not hidden by any means. She was my protector and would not allow this treatment to continue. She held me up in her prayers, took me too church, and physically intervened between my father and I.

Please do not get the wrong impression. My father was not a bad man. He was simply young and inexperienced at fatherhood. I believe he loved me… in his own way.

To say that I grew up in a conflicting atmosphere would be to downplay my situation. I received mixed signals on everything – especially sex and