Rising from My Knees: Learning I Can Be Anything and More

By Sandrah Hlatshwayo

My book is a memoir based on my life experiences and how I have overcome lifes challenges as a single mother, as a student, and living with my daughter in a single-parent home with my five brothers.
The aim of the book is to motivate and inspire teen mummies to pursue their dreams and achieve their goals, no matter what circumstances they are in. I truly believe that, with hard work and dedication, dreams do come true.
The book has fifty-one chapters and poems based on my thoughts and fears of failing in life, which makes it okay. In the end, I must say that I have lived my life!
This book will inspire my readers to appreciate life and to cherish all that surrounds them with passion by letting the past go and reaching to the future with a purpose.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Feb 28, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481785730

Sandrah Hlatshwayo

I represent so many other children who were born in exile and never had the chance to attend a primary school – all in the name of politics. I live in South Africa with my mother and my loving daughter. I studied fashion designing at Tshwane North College, and I’m now at the best time of my life!

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© 2013 by Sandrah Hlatshwayo. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/22/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-8572-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-8573-0 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Acknowledgement

Introduction

Chapter One

Learning To Fly

Chapter Two

Be True To Yourself

Chapter Three

The Phone Call

Chapter Four

I’m Sorry

Chapter Five

Meet Your Father

Chapter Six

It Could Be Me

Chapter Seven

Best Daughter

Chapter Eight

Nothing Like Home

Chapter Nine

My Mother’s Strength

Chapter Ten

Not Just A Number

Chapter Eleven

The Perfume

Chapter Twelve

I Wrote Letters

Chapter Thirteen

Missing My Father

Chapter Fourteen

Goals To Reach

Chapter Fifteen

How I Love Her

Chapter Sixteen

Girl In Me

Chapter Seventeen

When Love Matters

Chapter Eighteen

Dream It

Chapter Nineteen

Ink In My Heart

Chapter Twenty

Moving On

Chapter Twenty-One

Looking Back

Chapter Twenty-Two

Every Second Counts

Chapter Twenty-Three

The Heel

Chapter Twenty-Four

But I Love You!

Chapter Twenty-Five

Good Men

Chapter Twenty-Six

Perfect

Chapter Twenty-Seven

God

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Whisper

Chapter Twenty-Nine

It May Be A Curse

Chapter Thirty

Two Years

Chapter Thirty-One

Who Am I?

Chapter Thirty-Two

Meet My Brothers

Chapter Thirty-Three

Single Life

Chapter Thirty-Four

Adapt

Chapter Thirty-Five

My Insecurities

Chapter Thirty-Six

My Valentine

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Tears I Cried

Chapter Thirty-Eight

My Niece

Chapter Thirty-Nine

The Cat Lover

Chapter Forty

Money

Chapter Forty-One

Thing I Hid Inside

Chapter Forty-Two

Mirror

Chapter Forty-Three

Salute

Chapter Forty-Four

It’s Not Jealousy

Chapter Forty-Five

Live

Chapter Forty-Six

Just Be There

Chapter Forty-Seven

Amen

Chapter Forty-Eight

Being Me

Chapter Forty-Nine

My Beloved Tree

Chapter Fifty

How To Keep Him

Chapter Fifty-One

My Greatest Fear

Synopsis Of Work

Rising From My Knees

About The Author

Dedication

From the bottom of my heart, I dedicate this book to my loving daughter for being such an inspiration in my life. I’m so proud to be your mother. I love you.

Acknowledgement

You may think that I’m not good enough but you’ll never say that to my face. Because I’ll tell you that, I got a powerful team behind me and with them I’ll always win and believe me, (I always win) please get to know them;

First of all I like to thank my mother for the constantly support she gives me without her none of this would be possible! My mother being there for me every step of the way is enough evidence for my heart to believe that I’m special to her.

To Sarah, growing up with me being your little sister must have been tough for you because I always wanted my way which was not fair some times and still isn’t. I’m sorry for every argument we ever had. Now as a woman I realize that you rocked my world!

To Hugh, Peace, Heath, Muhammad and Ibrahim Hlatshwayo I can never dream of better brother’s. Thank you! I guess the time has come for me to carry all those memories I cherish of our childhood which will never go away.

To my father I know that one day you’ll read this book and you’ll be proud of the daughter I have become or of the woman behind my perfection, my mother.

And finally I would like to thank the Authorhouse publishing team for letting me feel at home from the very beginning my publishing consultant called me and said that he was calling from the Authorhouse and to my book editor thank you for the work you have done to my book you understood my way of writing.

To the co-ordinater thank you for making sure everything went smoothly, you know your thing, to my book designer you take my breath away every time I look at the work you have done I still can’t believe my eyes every time I see my book.

And if I haven’t mentioned you don’t think I don’t appreciate the work you have done in creating this wonderful book, pure from my soul.

Thank you again, for believing in me!

Introduction

I chose the title Rising from My Knees because the writing of this book is based on my beliefs and things I know teen mummies go through. I’m hoping that I can hold their hands and show them that it’s never too late to dream again.

And I personally believe that we all deserve a second chance. This book will take you through my life and show you the person I chose to become despite everything I faced throughout my life.

I’m also hoping you enjoy reading this book because, without you, it wouldn’t be a success. But most of all, I’m hoping that, through reading, you’ll learn to believe that you can achieve anything if you put your mind and heart into your passion.

Chapter One

LEARNING TO FLY

It always seems impossible until it is done.

—Nelson Mandela

Have you ever felt like your whole life has been wasted and the only thing that keeps you going is the desire to fulfil your dreams? That’s exactly how I feel. Every day, I want to be better and do good things with my time, and I wonder if I will ever achieve my goal of becoming an author. This is the first chapter, but I feel like it’s my last shot to get it right.

The world is full of writers who are willing to do whatever it takes to offer the best books on the shelves every single year, which is fine, but I’m hoping that an available space remains for one more perfect book. I want to impress my readers with the work I deliver. My hands are shaking as I go on writing, and I wonder if I should put this chapter somewhere in the middle of the book. But it is the first chapter, so I’ll leave it right here.

This is my dream, and one way or another, I’ll make it through. I just need to impress one publisher who is willing to publish my work and prove to the world that I do have what it takes to achieve anything I believe in. I know that I’m capable of changing people’s lives and unlocking many other doors for girls who are coming after me. Anything is possible, right? I want to show my readers that dreams do come true, and the only way I can do that is through getting this book published.

When I think of young girls and boys from poor countries who never imagine they’ll do greater things in their lives—better things than the things in front of them—it breaks my heart so much. It reminds me of myself as a child, admiring other children who were able to go to school while I could not. And I believe that no child should go through that again.

When I picture a teenager not knowing how to read, I see a country losing a leader. No country should be led by an uneducated person. Every parent who understands the power to understand a written sentence will make it his or her business to help a child in any way he or she can, no matter what it takes. Every child should know how to read.

I see myself writing many other books after this one and changing people’s lives with the words I combine. In the end, I just want to inspire young people to dedicate themselves to whatever they like doing. I always say that discipline and desire should go together at all times. A desire alone is like a flower growing kilometres away, and you’ll need discipline to keep you going toward the flower, even when you don’t want to. With discipline, because you believe in the flower’s beauty, nothing will keep you from reaching it.

When I go to bed every night, I close my eyes. I place my both hands on my chest, feeling my heart beating. I feel grateful that I am alive and that I belong in a country where I have the power to be myself and do the things I want to do. I also feel very lucky that my parents are South Africans. I was born in Angola. I wouldn’t dream of a better continent. I’m so proud to be an African.

I’m so proud that my parents fought for the freedom I enjoy today and the opportunities I’m able to have that most only dream of and never have the chance to experience. Who am I to take for granted everything that has been prepared especially for me?

I don’t know about you, but I do believe that my generation is a lucky generation. We have the power to say exactly what is on our minds. Without being afraid, we can express every single word with confidence. And for that I’m very proud. When I listen to my mother talking about the older days and the journey the country took to become what South Africa is today, I’m more proud of my parents and all the others who took that journey, and I’m happy that I didn’t have to go through all that they went through for me. I’m hoping that my daughter’s generation and the next generation after hers will be keen to learn about the past because that’s the only way we can keep our heritage alive. And hopefully, that is my contribution to the world.

So one day, when my book is on the shelves, I see myself running everywhere and telling everybody that I wrote a book. I’ll go and see my work on the shelves to make sure it’s not a dream—a dream that has played over and over in my mind through the years. I long to see this book spreading all over the world with the hope that people will appreciate my work and admire my courage to follow my dream because I want every other person to do the same! I want my readers to wake up in the morning with a desire to fulfil one goal before the sun sets every single day.

Even if your goal is to achieve what seems impossible, wake up with the aim to try again and be better at whatever keeps you awake from your sleep. Even to be willing to do something is already an achievement on its own. In effect, willingness is the foundation to success. That’s what I believe.

I’m speaking from my experience as a writer. Every day I got better at inking my words; it took days and years to perfect a sentence from the bottom of my heart. And every time I read my work, I knew I was getting better at writing. I’m not surprised at all, because I’m the most ridiculous person I have ever known. I don’t remember ever taking myself too seriously, and I like that about myself. It feels good to laugh at myself every now and again. I know I’m silly! Oh, I just know it.

But I’m not a comedian, so I’m not willing to live my life searching for funny things to bring joy in my heart. Even little thoughts inside my head can make me laugh, and I like that. Some may call it crazy, but I call it joy. Try it; laugh at yourself, even when you are alone.

My daughter makes me laugh too. She is my number one fan. Like me, she likes to play. She keeps me grounded. I enjoy her presence. Still, I’m a woman, and sometimes I feel disappointed with myself. I do doubt myself every now and then. But my disappointments come from times when I know that I haven’t tried hard enough to achieve something I really wanted or times when I’ve been worried about what people may say or about the fact that I’m not good enough to touch the hearts I hope to touch.

The other day, for example, I woke up telling myself, ‘Sandrah Hhlatshwayo, today is your day.’ I took a bath, got dressed, and went to UNISA Press with my script. And I was told that my book was not good enough. I was told that South African youth want to read books on apartheid. I shook my head and thought, That can’t be. This is October 2012, and I’m a part of the South African youth. But I like to read motivational books.

What could I possibly write about apartheid? I was born and lived in Angola. I didn’t experience any of that, and the bit I knew I learned from books. I was born in exile. I’m an African, I thought, but where do I begin?

So I pulled myself together, went home, and realized that my mother had to be the best person to answer all my questions.

I wasn’t ready to forget UNISA Press. I wanted my book to be published by UNISA. After I was rejected, I knew that I was doing something right. I knew that I would have to work harder. I had invested five years of writing this work, yet someone said that I seemed to be too confident and that my confidence wouldn’t take me anywhere. It felt more like he was picking his words to humiliate me instead of advising me on my passion—and this without reading my manuscript. My point is that there is no point in keeping the door shut on someone when you know you don’t hold the key to his or her success, and I only hope that I will never stand in anybody’s way. If you are enthusiastic about your goals,