Letters to Mum

Dear Mum,

That doesn’t feel right. I know I should write Dear Mum, but I want to write Dear Genevieve. Even Dear Sally would be more appropriate because that is your actual name. But the fact that you respond to Genevieve is part of the reason I love you.

With respect, you are the weirdest person I know. I don’t know anyone else who can fall asleep during a game and still win it. You’re the only person who says “Corey Baker!” when you’re shocked by something. I’ve checked. No-one else says that. I don’t even know who Corey Baker is! You have the innocence and faith of a child, but you also have the cunning look of a criminal mastermind when a supermarket incorrectly prices a product and has to give it to you free