To Whom It May Concern... in the Struggle: The Emotional Healing Through the Freedom of Being Transparent

By Nadia Dunlap

This book is a must read for anyone who may have been, or knows someone who is heartbroken and wants to heal and doesnt know how to heal. The complexity of pain has no name, no boundaries and has no respect for any person. Emotional pain doesnt and for permission or care about your background or economic standing. Pain invites itself in all of our lives at one point or another. Yet, by holding this book, you have made the first crucial step towards self-healing. You have decided to look beyond the present and imagine your life as you want it to beTo whom it may concern is an emotionally charged book full of motivating stories that were written for all shattered hearts and the never ending tears of people all around the world. For the lost, the confused and for those who feel they cant make it another day. This book is especially for you: Yes, there is someone who understands, who cares and wants you to heal and see you never go through these experiences or situations again.
This book exposes all hurts, open and closed wounds, through such a deeply emotional narrative, that you will be able to identify with each and every story within. Whatever your pain, within these pages you will find the source of hope and discover the healing in transparency raw emotions, the almost physical sense of pain and loss that will help you open the door that has kept your struggles hidden for far too long. Supported by alarming statistics and the signs for certain behaviors and patterns that will help you recognize that your path has been walked many times before, but can have a happy ending. Upon reading these stories, you will find the courage to say no, call for help, quit an improper lifestyle or just find the will to love yourself, maybe for the first time. We only have one life to live and deserve to happy in this life. Let To whom it may concern help you heal from every hurt and pain that lies deep inside your heart. Read this book today. It will change your tomorrow for forever.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jun 2, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456757717

Nadia Dunlap

NADIANadia Dunlap lives in Chicago, Illinois. She is studying towards a masters degree in homeland security at Colorado Tech University, after which she plans to go to law school. Her love for writing stems from her profound sense of need to help others and give voice to their innermost struggles and fears. Her ability to tap into her own and the feelings of others has found many outlets for expression Nadia Dunlap is one of this generations most prolific and fierce young talented writers. Nadia Dunlap comes charging out the gate with her explosive and thrilling debut series " To whom it may Concern" She gives an in depth look into the emotional realm that is unparalleled in her writing. No stranger to emotional pain and brokenness, Nadia brings her expertise to her no holds barred book. To whom it may concern, which goes above and beyond the call of duty to be transparent to bring closure to open wounds and starts an overdue healing process. By exposing life darkest and emotionally ravaging hurts and pains. amongst her many interests, she is a member of the National Association for Professional Women, she is advocate for breast cancer research, is a motivational speaker, mentor and devotes her time to helping others. Writing will always remain her passion and she is already working on several books, due for publication later this year.

Book preview

Part One

Trees

The strength of life is rooted in the will to never accept defeat and never live in the misery of yesterday.

Mistake on Me

My eyes are crossed so far away from each other. I can see you and two other people in a room at the same time. I know the next line coming out of your mouth: cock eyed, right? I’ve already heard that one too many times before. People look at me funny, trying to watch me to see if I am looking at them or someone else. I can view the world all at one time. I can see exactly what blessings are over me. He didn’t make no mistake on me.

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My teeth are so bucked that my lips don’t shut all the way. I got a gap so big I can fit another tooth between those two teeth. I am called buck tooth on a daily basis. If I had a dollar for how many times I heard someone say my teeth looks like a picket fence. Thank God, for strength in knowing who I am, no matter what a person says or thinks about teeth shape or size. Nothing wrong with me, we were made to be different. I love the spaces in between my teeth anddon’t think for a minute I don’t believemy smile ain’t dazzling. Too bad I am strong individual or those people talking about me mighthurt my feelings or something. I can’t wait for the next chance to smile. Nope, there’s no mistake on me.

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My hair is only the snap of a finger long. I don’t have many inches to the length of my hair – it’s only an inch or two. My hair is so short. I have to try to add 50 dollars packages of inches to have inches. The texture of my hair is rough and course. Perms straighten my hair only for the duration of time it took to put them in my hair. Then it’s back to the wool hair I have at any other time. Yes, I don’t have what you call good hair. I can’t lie. I used to sit and wonder why my hair made the girl next to me different or better than I was. But I finally noticed that those girls were the same as me, and I was the same as them. My hair doesn’t make me different or a better or worse person. Don’t you know, hair is hair – any way it comes? Duh? He didn’t make no mistake on me.

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Whose mind is this? It doesn’t belong to me, I promise. Why do I hear your laughter and remarks every time I open my mouth? These words are not of my own. These words do not show who I am or who I stand for. I don’t know why, when I write my words, they stand by themselves and make no room for understanding .Yes, my words might even come out backward sometimes. My world is turned in reverse. However, I had to realize, it’s only my words held captive; not my mind. Yes, I have dyslexia and yes, my words don’t come out as they should sometimes. Make fun of me if you will. I will still smile. I will still learn and, yes, I will still pass. My words or my thoughts may come out backwards. However, that has never stopped me from going forwards. I only got one thing to say, and I hope you can understand this: I’ll see you at graduation. He didn’t make a mistake on me.

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My skin complexion is so black it gave you the permission to call me tar baby and be correct. The only things you can see at night are my eyes and teeth. Minds race to the far corners to ask how I got that black. Stares are imminent. When a person encounters someone dark as me, they immediately think I am from Africa somewhere. They laugh and say, Damn, he’s not black; he is blue-black. Damn. Good thing I know black is beautiful. The blacker the better even if you don’t think so. However, you’re beautiful no matter what shade of God that you are. In the blackest of the night, I see the light of day he made me. There was no mistake on me.

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I look like a late-night infomercial. My skin is nowhere near smooth. Oily is my texture. Black heads are an island on my face and acne spots are its only survivors. I wash my face every day and, yes, before you ask, I use the same facial cleaner you do. And no, I don’t wake up with a radiant shine. I have blemishes on my face. I notice that when you talk to me, you cringe and look at me with a frown on your face. Somehow, I believe you must think I have low esteem and consider you better looking than me. Good thing I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. These mirrors reflect a fine young woman. I am still a picture of beauty. Oh, you must be staring ‘cause you thought I would have my head down. I am sorry to disappoint you. Me and all my perfections thank you for those stares; there’s no mistake on me.

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My whole family is big, and I followed suit. Stores don’t even try to carry my size. I walk extremely slowly. Look out, a big girl is coming. Yep, you can hear my breathing without me saying a word. Go ahead and say I’m big. Ya’llwanna convince us we have too many curves and should only wear sweat pants to hide our appearance. Why can’t we dress like you do? I am not supposed to look good when I go outside. People point at me and call me fat-names when they see me eating meals, as if they don’t have to eat to stay alive. I was big when you got here; I am going to be big when I leave. Try another fat-name. I’ve heard them all. Oh yes, I love to go out to eat, and what? Oh yes, I eat really well. Probably more healthily than you. And yes, I might even go back for seconds. Oh, you must be those how think we just everything in sight. And this is why we are big. It’s true, I love to eat, but I still know my limits. I believe in health and a correct diet. I am not passing on from no health problems. I might be big, but I am no dummy. The right weight is on the way. Not because of you. Oh, you don’t know that I love me and all of me. If I am not here, who is going to carry on for big and healthy women around the world? You didn’t know God loves his big ones just like you. He made no mistake on me.

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I am so skinny. My thighs are the size of pencils and my bra cup is bump-size. Pants sizes are hard to find. My belts, I need to loop them twice. I make extra loops. My appetite fluctuates like the wind. I only eat in small proportions. Nope, I don’t eat all that’s on my plate; and yes, I can eat only snacks or just a meal and be full for the day. If I ever get past a size-three, I am throwing myself a party. I don’t look like any of the girls on the videos on TV. I get called crack-head all time. People think I am hooked to some type of drugs or that I have an eating disorder. It’s too bad for all those people who are thinking about what’s wrong with me. What’s wrong with them? The day won’t come that I would change being small. I eat right daily, and I keep a multivitamin in my system. Exercise is still fun to me. If I was you, I would take those thoughts. To wonder how you can get like me. Guess what? They’re never out of my size. No, there is no mistake on me.

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Laughter greets me each day as I walk down the street. Pointed fingers hurt my existence. Hateful words tear my heart into little pieces. They run behind me until they reach the very core of who I am. Ugly stretch it out his hands, slapping me in the face and stamping itself on my fore head for everyone to see. I hear it trying to bring me down, bringing me into his way of thinking so I can feel the worst of myself, talk about myself and isolate myself. Finally, trying to make me hate myself. Thankfully, I know who I am and ugly doesn’t exist. I slapped ugly back and told him to take a hike. Go find someone who doesn’t know the meaning of true beauty. Looking to get me down is like getting me to think I am not beautiful. Sorry, that day won’t ever happen. I know I just crush your image of ugly. That’s who wants to be ugly anyway. He didn’t make a mistake on me.

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I was saved, dragged to safety, laid on the grass and asked if I was okay. I couldn’t see myself. I took a long breath in and coughed out my thoughts of yes. An ambulance rushed me off. I was wrong. I was saved, but my skin was not. My face was disfigured. I came, and you looked at me differently. My home, you stayed away from. My friends started to change and leave. My esteem bottomed out. I left the door open and God crept in. He reminded me I was still his child. I had to have a test to have a testimony. I became grateful and blessed. What you other people around me thought didn’t matter anymore. He told me I was I beautiful. I know the true meaning of beauty. He didn’t make a mistake on me.

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Colors are of an abstract innocence I will never see. Birthed through eyes that will never open. I am open to the dispensation of my senses. I blossom through the things I touch. Guided by sound and trained thoughts and animals. The morning has risen as still the sun I have never seen. Because I was born with no sight. Yes, you can say it; I am blind. I am in love with the external beauty that I can see. I edify perfection in its rarest form. I am still allowed into the gateway of life with the deeper will of my other senses. Yes, I can see beauty and love perfectly clearly. Can’t you see? He didn’t make a mistake on me

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Strapped inside with what one might call misery. Rolled in the front of embarrassment, until I turned away so much I called it normal. Watching you in the glimpse my eyes, I once felt like I was missing something. Sympathy pours into my spirit like a great wine. I drank until I couldn’t feel anymore. However, I was born with no feeling past my waist. I awoke to my senses. How I could miss what I never had? So how could I feel lower than you and think my life was not as good as yours. When was happiness confined to how a person gets around anyway? I never stopped being myself. You can limit my movement, but you can’t limit my heart and soul. Now I know I am not