Slap Dab: A Collection of 30 Stories Featuring Adventures and Animals, Poetry and a Potato!

By R. W. Taylor

Slap dab.

What is it?

Well, it can be anything you want it to be!

It can be something youve found, something youve lost, something funny, something

strange and something messy and muddy especially if left out in the rain!

Get ready to play in the slap dab and meet such characters as Cock-a-Doodle-Dog, Boe

Boe and Hissy with the story of the rattle snake who had lost his rattle, Lenny the Lying

Lion, a Yorkshire Alligator in New York, Nit Wit and Flea Bag, Maw Maw the lazy

magpie, Boney the dinosaur with a weak bladder, White Rabbit White Rabbit White

Rabbit and the Crisscross Kiss Monsters, as well as a rhyme here and there.

Of course you may meet anyone of them when you walk down the street today, but just in

case you dont, why not read on and meet some new friends who may surprise you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Jul 17, 2012
• ISBN: 9781468586480

R. W. Taylor

R W Taylor lives in England and previously published another charming collection of children’s stories entitled “The Curiosity of Sadie: A Collection of 35 Individual Stories About an Individual Little Girl and Her Puppy”

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© 2012 R. W. Taylor. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 7/11/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4685-8647-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-8648-0 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

DEDICATION

Slap Dab – An Introduction of Sorts…

Boe Boe and Hissy – The Story of the Rattle Snake Who Had Lost His Rattle

Places I’d Rather be (Anywhere but Here!)

Cock-A-Doodle-Dog

Home Swap

Lenny The Lying Lion

Benny the Ball

Maw Maw – The Lazy Magpie

Why?

Boney and his Waterworks

Joe – The Boxing Kangaroo

Don’t Talk Back

Faster Castor Faster – The Story of a Travel Sick Coot

The Day that We Fly

Shat and Nimnoy

What Am I Like?

All Is not What It Seems

A Yorkshire Alligator in New York

How Far Does the Crow Fly?

White Rabbit White Rabbit White Rabbit

I See the Sea

Floella’s Toothy Pegs

Sylvester the Fox Aka Sly

Sadness

Nit Wit and Flea Bag

The Giant Haystax

Who Made That?

The Crisscross Kiss Monsters

Beth Knows the Answer

Pom – The Potato who could not Decide what He Wanted to be When He Grew up

About the Author

DEDICATION

To my Mum for her unending support, my Dad, my Granny, my wife Louey, Robert and to Cissie, Steve and the Sisters who were there at the beginning and most importantly to my Winnie x.

Slap Dab – An Introduction of Sorts…

Slap Dab, Slap Dab, Slap Dab.

Say it three times and you might get lucky.

Say it four and you might get mucky!

Well that’s according to four very different crocodiles.

Four very different crocodiles who all loved nothing better than lazing about in the muddy slap dab of their swamp.

The four crocodiles were called – ‘Crocodile Rock’, ‘Crocodile Tears’, ‘Old Crock’ and last but not least ‘Snappy Pants’.

Four very different crocodiles who were the best of friends.

They were as different as different can be, which of course means that they all get on wonderfully, and they all wondered why different grown-up humans never get on with each other as crocodiles do?

For despite the muddy swamp and the rising cost of toothpaste, the four crocodiles were quite happy as long as they were all together.

Crocodile Rock was the youngest of the four crocodiles and he wore a distinct bandana and had a love of country music. Crocodile Tears was the second youngest of the four crocodiles and she wore shades to hide her tears, for she loved old sentimental movies.

Old Crock was the oldest of the four crocodiles and she was very much the old lady of the group, and as anyone with any sense will tell you, we don’t learn anything worthwhile past the age of twelve, until you become as ancient as Old Crock, when everything you forgot from being a child comes back to you. (It’s just the bit in the middle – being so-called ‘grown-up’ that seems to lose it, as grown-ups never seem to get the point of it all, which is of course – having fun!)

Snappy Pants, no one quite knew his age, he had more teeth than the other three crocodiles and so was at times, a little snappy about the rising cost of toothpaste, but he did have a liking of very loud and very multi-coloured Bermuda shorts, and very sweet and very sticky strawberry jam! (But not necessarily in that order).

Each night as the four friends settled down in their very own slap dab, they each told stories, and even sometimes rhymes, about things they had heard, friends they had met, places they had been, and this is where you come in, yes you who’s reading this! For the book you are holding in your hands are just such a collection of stories and rhymes. All different, all distinct, just like Crocodile Rock, Crocodile Tears, Old Crock and Snappy Pants, but all willing to raise a smile, just as friends do. They told of their cousin Gator’s adventures in New York, of a rattle snake called Boe Boe who had lost his rattle, of places they would rather be, of a potato who couldn’t decide what he wanted to be when he grew-up and of lots, lots more, for Slap Dab story time was always the crocodiles favorite time of the day.

Oh, and just like the four friendly crocodiles do, try and make a wish every day, for crocodiles have wishes too you know, some of which I won’t go into, as they can include a light bedtime snack of a bite-size human (usually garnished with chopped celery, diced jelly babies and a tin of cat food)!

Don’t necessarily make the same wish each and every night, because that can just ruin the fun of wish-making, and variety, not unlike slap dab, is the spice of life, for making a different wish each and every day can break the monotony of wish-making and keep you imaginative and ready for new things to wish for.

So why not lie back, make a wish, pick a story and serve yourself a nice dollop of Slap Dab!

Boe Boe and Hissy – The Story of the Rattle Snake Who Had Lost His Rattle

You may have had a rattle as a baby. I certainly did and so did Boe Boe.

Boe Boe could certainly remember the rattle sound that followed him about but he did not remember exactly when it had stopped rattling, in fact Boe Boe had no idea when and indeed how he had lost his rattle.

To you and I losing a rattle is no big deal, our mummy would simply pop to the shop and buy a new one, but for Boe Boe it was a different story, as Boe Boe was a rattle snake. Being a rattle snake without a rattle made Boe Boe a bit on the nervous side, indeed it made most folk around him nervous as without the rattle sound they could not tell if he was around.

Folk didn’t know whether to move out of Boe Boe’s way without the warning sound of the rattle and this made everyone nervous that they would upset the little snake and make him angry which is not very wise as rattle snakes can be very dangerous if anyone gets too close to them.

Boe Boe knew that most snakes generally liked to be left alone, in fact you could say that they were not too keen on company, which is why you and I must