Coping With Humans

By Yolanda WEININGER

A Siamese cat came in, unannounced, and changed everything: my environment, my attitudes, and my life. He never took "NO" for an answer. So, I began to study him and observe…

• Language: English
• Publisher: Yolanda WEININGER
• Release date: Jun 15, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201930271

Book preview

PROLOGUE

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A good year ago,( about 2016 or so) Koko, his blue eyes fiercely gazing into my green eyes, telepathically announced his desire to write his memoirs as he thought it a good and practical idea to let humans know how difficult it can be for felines to adapt, get used to, and thrive in a new environment. He performed this action while he was lying down on top of me while I was trying to take a nap. His nose was touching my nose and he was purring furiously. This was not a one-time deal, but almost daily, or whenever he found me lying down.

Funny enough, I started to keep a journal of sorts about four years before this as I thought he was a most unusual cat. Intelligence was just one dimension; wiliness was intertwined with charm and persistence was a key to his existence. So he decided to hire me as his personal assistant a year after he settled in and gave me the honors. This upset his owner, but C’est la Vie,* as the saying goes.

This journal is his perception of his life and all the antics he got himself into. Our conversations became more evident after his owner left him and moved away. I couldn’t see Koko living with him or anywhere else, but here with me.

My mother had black cats (her favorites) and they were just ordinary cats, and I paid them no attention growing up. I never imagined that a cat, a Siamese, could take over one’s life and change it forever. He changed my life and actually saved it.

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* ‘That’s life,’ as the French would say.  

CHAPTER 1

An Introduction

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HELLO. My name is Koko. I am a Chocolate Seal Point Siamese cat with a dark chocolate face, a cappuccino coffee colored body, dark chocolate paws and tail, and deep blue eyes. My body is sleek and svelte. Rather handsome, if I can say so myself. I am describing myself this way because I want the human reader to truly understand and appreciate me in order to understand what we cats have to go thru living with humans. It’s rather challenging! So that is why I have decided to write a how to manual so humans can better appreciate me and my feline friends. This will be accomplished with recent events that I have had to experience living in a new home with an adopted woman who shares her home with my real Owner.

The book will be written by my adopted woman thru my thoughts and actions and cat telepathy. I am brilliant in case you don’t know but can’t type on a computer. Lo siento.* At this conjecture, you are probably wondering why would a cat, (even one so refined as a Siamese), ever dream of writing a how-to-book, let alone instruct a human to sit down and type it out? Personally, I don’t think humans give us cats enough credit that we can put two thoughts together, except to eat and sleep. Little do they know, and I am here to prove it!

What a fallacy that is! We are indeed rather smart, cunning and wily. Otherwise, how would we have survived eons of time? I even understand that there were huge wild cats as my ancestors, roaming the earth.

Therefore, I have decided that now is the time to write my thoughts down, or meow them at least. In order to survive, we put on the charm so that humans fall in love with us, take us home, and shower us with a life of luxury and love. In case you people are not aware of this, but we cats have very deep feelings and care a great deal. We try to hold that in so that we give the impression that we just don’t care. Keeps those humans on their toes! Haha.

Where to begin? Well, I am not thrilled to have a name like Koko. Originally, I came from a shelter because I was not wanted, I guess. That’s already traumatic for a cat. How would you like to be dumped somewhere? I’m sure you would not like it one bit. The little girl came with her parents, saw me and that was it; and at that moment, I was so happy that someone wanted me. Originally, she named me Cocoa because I look like hot chocolate. I guess she liked hot chocolate, but I have no idea what that means. Eventually, it changed to Koko making it more exotic? Are they kidding me? It took me a long time to figure this out after I observed humans drink these concoctions and proclaim their deliciousness. Really! I was a kitten so probably that was why the reference to coffee with milk, or hot chocolate. Well, we can’t choose our names; therefore we must live with them and make do. So be it. And I don’t like it! We should be allowed to meow our own names. I meowed ferociously to my adopted woman to do some serious research into authentic names from Thailand, because I was upset and defiant by my stupid name. I just didn’t give up.

Now, why couldn’t they come up with a real Siamese name like: Kitti which means famous or, renowned? Or, even Kittibun, which means famous fortune. See? The word, famous comes up for us cats. We are! There is another name my human companion found which means first class cat, and it’s TiNungCha. But I think that’s too complicated for most people to remember or even pronounce. I would be happy with Kittibun. It certainly would be better than being called something like Hershey, or Kahlua, or Cocoa. Yikes! From my human person who knows all of this, lots of people name their pets for food or drinks. How unoriginal! Well, maybe in my next life as another Siamese cat. Mew. Humpf!

I grew up in the Southwest in the desert in a house where Spanish was heard and at times, spoken. I managed to learn a few words, but what came out of my mouth was an mrow which the humans didn’t understand. Mrow, I said, Mrow. How frustrating! Why can’t they understand me? But, I think this human seems to understand me so that is why you will see it in print. After all, we cats have a very large vocabulary and a very rich language. It’s up to the humans to be able to learn our languages and heritage. And, I think this human is a pushover. Just sayin...

I remember little growing up in that household because they also had a dog that they seemed to favor more. He was large and brownish similar to caramel candy that humans consume. (OH,OH, the reference to food again.) He tried to be nice to me but I chose to ignore him most of the time. Plus, his size was huge (in my mind’s eye) and he sort of slobbered. Yuk! Cats hate slobs. We are so fastidious as