Twenty Funny Stories Book Four

By Margaret Radisich Sleasman

What to do about the dilemma of missing sox; what songs to pick for your funeral; do you have a family Labor Day picnic? These stories and more will help you laugh your way through life's decisions

• Language: English
• Publisher: Margaret Radisich Sleasman
• Release date: Oct 9, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465753410

Margaret Radisich Sleasman

I have many interests, love reading mystery books, anything about tigers, and grandkids (not particularly in that order). I wrote a Bible study and am pretty much unmoveable in my literal biblical view - so don't try. I am attempting to write a couple mysteries one for adults and one for pre-teens. I edited and published a monthly historical newsletter, "The Pacific Northwest Croatian" for seven years and learned much about my people during that time. I have been writing on Helium since July of 2009 and Faithwriters since December 2009. I found the humor section and discovered that humor may be my niche, but my first love is writing Christianity articles. I have five grandchildren. I have five children, grown - but not grown up. We have a German Shepherd (Kobe)and a potbelly pig (Porky). Spent 35 years of my life making concrete lawn ornaments. I am Croatian, my husband is German... a family of stubborn, but silly people. That's about it.

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BOOK FOUR

By Margaret Radisich Sleasman

Published by Margaret Radisich Sleasman at Smashwords

Copyright: 2010 Margaret Radisich Sleasman:

All Rights Reserved

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Dedication

This book is dedicated to my family, relatives, and the Croatian friends in the community in which I grew up. The Croatian sense of humor is probably the best in the world as far as I am concerned. We may be a strange group at times, but have a zest for life unparallel to any other nationality that I have met.

None of these stories are true; maybe a sentence or two and then I enlarged it to my viewpoint. I hope that others will chuckle and not find my writing insulting, that was not my intent.

After you read these stories, you will know without a doubt what you suspected all along, I am totally insane. Laughter extends your life, so laugh with me or at me; God bless you all.

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1. The Problems Associated with Growing Old

It was bound to happen, even to hubby and me!

I am almost twice as old now as my mother was when I thought she was really old, of course I was only 15 at the time, and at that age everyone over 25 is near death. I am well on my way to passing that age for the third time (less than a decade to go), and up until the last couple of years I still believed I was young (something about a poem of the mind being deceived would be inserted here if I could remember even one line of it).

Anyway, hubby and I worked hard all our lives, and now our bodies ache and creak and just plain don't work most of the time. I have always had a slight balance problem and have never been able to walk a straight line. Now when I walk, it looks like I am doing the Serpentine in the movie the In-Laws. My husband bought several riding lawnmowers in case one wore out, we would always have a spare; one of them is now my mode of transportation around the yard. Granted, it is a bit louder than the scooters from the Scooter Store, but it serves its purpose for me. Although the initial investment was much cheaper, if I live much longer the cost of the gas will do me in.

I often wonder what my neighbor across the field thinks when I try to walk across the lawn or when I get on the mower to go back to the shop. We have a very big yard and the shop is over a city block away so there is no way I could walk that far of my own volition. Or what he thinks when hubby and I each get on a lawnmower and drive around the yard without actually mowing the lawn. I am pretty sure he thinks we are snockered most of the time. I have only talked to him once a few years ago, and I think it was because he had to investigate us a little closer than with binoculars; maybe he thought if he actually talked to us, his fears would be unfounded. He has not been back, so I am assuming he is sitting in his window observing us from a safe distance.

I was seriously thinking that we should qualify for some type of disability and asked hubby what he thought. He explained that we would not do well