The How-To's in Understanding Women: Understanding Women Series, #1

By Dan Amzallag

Finally, a book designated for all men in our planet. How to understand women? The Universal question that been plaguing the opposite sex since the beginning of times. Without proper tools, the changing mood of women can be detrimental to the sanity of its male counterpart. So what to do? Simple. It's to create a manual, a guidebook so to speak, that will allow the man to browse through so he can understand his woman a bit better. Since this book is Part I of a series of 1000 books, i had to split it into parts so it can be easily transported from the bookstore to your home. To avoid creating a book of 100 000 000 pages long, creating a series was the most logical option available in the publishing industry. So gentlemen, this book is for you. However, based on experiences, it is women who will buy this book for their significant other. Heck, even when single, this book can help women understand themselves.

This book is not yet finished, as for the thorough and complicated psychological research needed to abide by the purpose of this book. Understanding women is not easy, hence, having to provide valuable information to the readers is my ultimate goal.

• Language: English
• Publisher: ProAce Publishing Group
• Release date: Jul 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9780968864470

Book preview

The Gift of Understanding Women

SO, THE HONEYMOON’S over. It was fun, romantic, and full of adventure, in and out of the bedroom. There were trips to the Caribbean. You had tons of sex. You thought to yourself, I could really get used to this! Then a few months went by, and it all got replaced by anger, nagging, and bitter frustration. The woman in your life couldn’t seem to make up her mind. She wanted one thing now and a different thing a moment later. You started constantly wondering what the hell you did wrong, and when you tried to make her happy, it came back to bite you in the ass. Yup, the honeymoon’s over and now you’re stuck dealing with one or more of the following issues:

I’m pretty much always in a bad mood.

The sex has magically disappeared.

My woman is attempting to train me like a puppy.

She talks about the past until I want to kill myself.

She nags so much I want to die, come back from the dead, and kill myself again!

The word relax is not in her vocabulary as long as she insists on tormenting me.

At this point, you’re probably thinking, Great! He’s gonna tell me how to understand her! Sorry to disappoint, but it’s not really about understanding women. It’s about learning how to listen. See, women are more into communication than men are. They tend to share their emotions instead of pretending they don’t exist. Most women are looking for security and certainty. The reality is this: men will never truly understand what women want, but as long as an effort is made, both sides can eventually meet halfway. As long as there is communication, and both people actually listen to each other, a successful relationship is possible. Still, neither person should have to compromise their core identity to please the other one. This leads to resentment and broken relationships. Instead, each person needs to make the effort to understand their partner, which leads me to my next point...

Wife's behavioral pattern tracking sheet

This track sheet has been created for you, my male friends. A good way for you to track, just like you would when writing a journal about your emotions, how your wife behaves in a daily basis when facing challenges and hurdles (caused by you). It is important to also write how did you resolve your conflict (if any, which is always). By keeping track of her behavior, you create yourself great tools that will be needed when dealing with future dilemmas, and I am sure there will be plenty of them. Some of these sub chapters will enlighten you with the content provided, which is why this book was written after all. By taking notes, you can always refer back to the cause of her behavior and some probable solutions. By following this process for the next 10 decades, I am sure you will finally understand her and live and happy and healthy life (if still alive)''

Notes:

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What Women Really Want

IN THE YEAR 2000, MEL Gibson starred in a movie with Helen Hunt entitled What Women Want. In a freak bathtub accident (I’m calling it that because he was wearing a dress, sporting makeup, and holding a blow dryer in an attempt to think up ways to market to the female demographic) Gibson’s character electrocuted himself and awoke with the power to hear women’s thoughts. Any man and most aliens would kill for a gift like that. Sadly, as much as I, and Hollywood, would like it to, such a gift does not exist. Most men are at a complete loss when it comes to understanding their women, and that’s a problem when you consider that it’s a jungle out there.

Just like any jungle, survival of the fittest is the law of the land. If you don’t pay attention to what your woman wants, she is sure to sneak away in the night and find someone who will. Plain and simple. This means you have a choice: A) be the fittest or B) become nothing more than a number at the butcher shop. If you chose a, here’s something to consider.

Women are very complex, somewhat rational, creatures that many men would classify as emotionally intense. But, like most men, women want what’s best for them, even if that changes daily. You might think this makes women confusing in a way that makes you want to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, but when you put it in perspective, it’s not that different from what men want. It’s just a bit more.

Think of the Arab-Israeli conflict. I’ll give you a second to finish laughing at the joke you just made about your relationship. When Israel offered a stretch of land in the name of peace, the opposition wanted more and still more after they got that. If you give someone an inch, they’ll take a mile. So, I guess it’s all about determining how much a woman wants out of you and how much you can give without surrendering your core values. If you love your woman, it’s important to adapt and make a few changes to remain the fittest. What changes exactly? Well, here’s a list of things you want to keep in mind.

Women want:

Respect

If you’ve ever heard Aretha Franklin, you saw that coming a mile away. But it’s pretty straightforward right? Well, if that was the case, men would be better at making women happy, and I would not be writing a book. The word respect has a lot of meanings, especially for women, who can get a dictionary’s worth of definitions out of it through over analysis. That’s quite a feat, but it’s significant to them. Women wish to be seen as important individuals with salient contributions in their various fields. They have earned that respect as doctors, attorneys, engineers and CEOs. If Hillary Clinton’s campaign succeeds, she’ll be the first female president in America’s history. To many women respect means equal pay, power, and independence at work, but special care in other situations. Like having doors held opened, and being offered your seat. It may be hard to wrap your head around, but you have to get used to it. Bottom line: women never want to feel like second class citizens.

Telepathic men

You read that right. Telepathic men. You need to fall in a vat of chemicals, get hit by radiation, or learn a spell from a wizard, because your woman needs you to read her mind. You know the drill. You’re in an argument with your woman, and you have absolutely NO FREAKING CLUE why. Maybe she’s on the rag and didn’t take her sanity pills. Maybe she woke up in a shitty mood. Whatever the reason, she’s on the attack, and you somehow have the courage to ask what you did. What’s her response? Don’t think I’m stupid. You should know exactly what you did. You could try to explain that you’re not Professor X, but honestly, this is where all men in the universe are at a loss. Women want men with the gift of mind reading. Not literally, of course. As far as I know, that’s impossible. But she would like you to keep track of her likes and dislikes, as well as the things you do that piss her off, so that you can be more sensitive to her needs, and more aware of how she feels. Here’s how you do that without superpowers.

People who are good at poker can outwit other players by taking a moment to learn their tells. Tells are the nervous tics, facial expressions, and small motions players sometimes make during the game. Skilled players can use them to judge whether their opponents are working with a strong hand, or trying to bluff. Your woman also exhibits certain cues, and learning them is mandatory if you ever intend to be happy around her. When important things are being discussed, you need to pay a lot of attention if you want to figure out how her mind works. No woman comes into your life with a manual. You have to write your own. And you can’t leave it for the next guy in her life because he’s going to interpret her craziness differently.

The good news is this: when it comes to the mistakes you’ll make while learning their tells, women are really flexible creatures...as long as you don’t make the same mistake twice. Apparently, women can’t stand that shit. Do it, and it’ll hurt like a mother%^&*r. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned because that’s where your life goes when you scorn them: to hell. So when you screw up, watch her response carefully. You may never figure out exactly what she wants, but you can still succeed by avoiding the things she DOESN"T want. That’s logic, and if you remember, I said men are pretty good at it. What isn’t logical is that a woman cannot know you’re just doing something to get her off your back. For some stupid reason, doing what she wants is not enough. You have to seem genuinely interested in keeping her happy. If you can do that, and learn her tells, she’ll fall right in your arms, which brings us to the next thing women want:

Caring

Men are not usually adept at giving a damn, but it’s ingrained in a woman’s DNA. Women nurture by nature, and despite women’s liberation, they want to be cared for in return. In a close knit relationship, you need to have each other’s backs, and work together to achieve your goals and dreams. Your woman needs you to be there in sunshine and rain. And like I said before, you need to predict her needs and be there for her at all times. Being there when she’s sick, or needs a shoulder to cry on, can really strengthen your relationship. But beware if she has to ask, it’s too late for you. Whatever was bothering her already had her in a bad mood. Combine that with the anger and frustration of having to ask you to do something, and you’re in for some serious nagging later on.

Remember, women are born multi-taskers. They can cook, have a conversation, watch the kids, and plan their day all at once. Men focus on one thing at a time by default. Except around women. Then it’s usually two things. So if a woman has to ask you to clean the house because she’s too sick to do it, it’s another thing she has to juggle in her mind, in addition to being sick. She’s gong to yell you. Take the initiative and avoid that. One more thing: doing that will sometimes be frustrating. Volunteer anyway, and try not to complain. Your woman will thank you, and your ears won’t bleed from six or seven hours of constant nagging.

Love

Love has a ton of definitions, but most men are still oblivious to what it means. There are a total of five love languages. When a woman says she wants to be loved, what she really means is you need to discover which one to use to demonstrate your commitment and desire. I hear you saying ‘love languages sound like bullshit to me’, but trust me. I’m a doctor. Here are the five you need to know in order to make your woman feel loved:

Words of Affirmation (WoA) This is basically where she wants to hear how awesome she is, how good she looks, how you couldn’t possibly live without her, and all that crap. When you use this language, you must be genuine. Let’s look at a common scenario. Your woman enters the room in a new dress. She looks exactly like a beluga in spandex. You shake your head, and get ready for the question you know is coming: ‘honey, do I look fat in this dress?" Obviously, you should lie if you don’t want to spend the next decade on the couch. You can use WoA to do that, or if you’re far braver than I am, you can use it to tell her the truth. It’s up to you. The point here is to offer voluntary terms of endearment without being asked.

Act of Service (AoS) For some women, actions speak louder than words, and that’s where this love language comes in. They want you to cook for them, take out the trash, clean the house, and the like. Seeing the effort makes them feel loved and desired. Men like this language a lot themselves. Words of affirmation usually mean little to them, but women can be more insecure in some cases. WoA can make those women feel wanted and needed.

Receiving Gifts (GD) In case you’re wondering, GD stands for ‘gold digger’. I’m not saying she is one. After all, she might believe it’s the thought that counts. But a few women in this category are going to need lavish, expensive gifts to feel loved. If you want to give in, and you can afford it, so be it. So long as you’re not taking out a third mortgage on your house to do it, there’s nothing with getting your woman some nice things.

Quality Time (QT) Ironically, I wasn’t able to give my significant other quality time due to the long hours it took to write this book. With this language, you demonstrate your love by spending time with her, Time is precious. Spending it with her shows that she is valuable to you. Women love this language more than the others because of its nature. Investing time in her, rather than doing anything else you have the opportunity to do, is seen by her as a statement: that you prefer her over anyone and anything else.

Physical Touch (PT) Timing is key with this love language as it works best when she least suspects it. Kissing, hugging, and holding hands are all excellent ways to demonstrate this language. Unless you’ve pissed her off, and she’s giving you the cold shoulder, not asking for permission is crucial. If that is happening, you risk getting slapped or worse, so time it wisely.

When it comes to love languages, there is NOT one in particular that women rely upon. You’re probably going to need to combine two or more of them to convey your love for her. The keys are trial and error, and the cues you’ll start to see as time goes by. Suppose she drags you to the mall to go shopping. What’s that? You say you’d rather swim with a pack of hungry sharks? Me too, but this is a perfect time to see cues and love languages in action. If you find yourself sitting on the bench beside the elevators, people watching and talking about her day, what she probably wants from you is QT. Suggest an activity out of the blue that she likes, and that you can do together. If she has her arm on your shoulders, or she’s holding your hand, your woman might just need PT. Pull her into a hug, or give her a quick peck on the lips and you too can be a winner in the game of life. If she’s lingering in front of DSW, suddenly talking about the latest fashions, she may want GD. If you can afford it, lead her in and invest in a pair of heels. If you can’t, try giving her something you can afford, like chocolate.

Discovering which language she prefers best takes time. In some cases, women can go through all five of them in under an hour. That might be hard to digest, but you have time on your side and with a little effort, you’ll find the light at the end of this very dark, screwed up, tunnel. Keep in mind,