Poems & Scraps for Healing & Growth

By R.A. Feller

As our patterns get rubbed together in relationships, when things work out for our hurt, remember God turns all for our good when we love Him.

Whether going through separation, divorce, or the possible break up in a relationship, sometimes identifying the pain for healing in the midst of all the commotion can be difficult.

Poems & Scraps for Healing & Growth offers an open door to mend a hurting heart. This book is meant to come along side and bind up the emotional tears by helping you identify your wounds through the wounds of another.

Leaving you in a better space for making better decisions is my other objective. Looking from a vantage point which only God could have taught has provided for me a leading through many trying times and many insights as to understand what I did to get there.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 7, 2005
• ISBN: 9781463473402

Book preview

© 2005 R. A. Feller. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 02/28/05

ISBN: 1-4208-3115-1 (sc)

ISBN: 9781463473402 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Edited by: Nancy Metzger Flack

371 Camp Rockhill Road

Quakertown, P.A. 18951

Contents

Award winners

From My First Book

Part One

From First Book

Part Two

Falling in Love

Still Falling

Part Three

To Be A Shooting Star

Encouraged To Love

Reconciling Relationships

The Swim of Intimacy

- Whosoever will, come.-

Special thanks to Dawn, Susan, Nancy and Mike, for allowing God to reflect images into my sight within His very true light.

This book is dedicated to those who’d let God rest in their wounded heart and bring about healing.

These poems and scrap insights were written while falling in and out of unhealthy love relationships. These were writtin at a time when I was in patterns of thinking where I made mostly poor choices which caused me harm. Throughout many years my writing has been a part of my healing process. It has taken me through abusive and other kinds of patterns that I’ve encountered as a part of my growth.

Upon watching the reactions of other people in response to my poetry, I soon discovered it was very powerful. In fact, it was a gift from God; He’s enabled me to perceive things the way most cannot.

Christ has been teaching me how to look before I leap. He has sustained me with His precious grace and has proven the character of His true pattern to be a practical guide for me. I wrote these lessons down and now having learned to pass through the sufferings of life, I’m found a little wiser. It is within the sweet reality of God’s warm love, which hangs from His truth, that I’ve found an atmosphere to promote healing; as honey from the honeycomb it only awaits for a soul’s sweet embrace.

I have broken this book up into three sections. Part one was written eleven years ago and reflects my earlier walk with God; part two eleven years later, reveals a more mature and stronger Spirit, but in either stage growing through the pain is very prevalent. Part three was written as I learned to face the tide of an abusive pattern in unhealthy relationships I’ve encountered, as disclosed thus far. Throughout these sections there is much to identify and connect with; for the Lord has been my source of strength and He remains true to the Spirit found within His word.

I pray that these poems will minister to you as a most useful strengthening tool at any season you might find yourself in. Getting in touch with the Spirit of thought behind this writing has brought much joy and has been a great help to me. May these words bring you towards the light and add to the meaning of your life as well.

Award winners

A tear dripped A.

From the bottom of my eye,

Down the cheek

It seemed to travel endlessly

As I watched it fall

from the bottom

of my chin.

Another tear

got on line to leave

and I asked it, Why?

It had no answer.

It was only there.

It was only a tear.

Tears flowed B.

as I cried

At its best it was mean

at its worst it was death.

The anger burned inside

Out through my eyes.

Yet I was powerless

within myself there

was nothing I could do.

As I cried out the blood flowed, aloud I cried out,

everywhere was splotches of red

as the blood dripped it collected

a puddle royal red upon the floor

From out of the puddle a lion arose

sent forth into battle where I could not go.

Now I was calm as I put forth my trust,

I rested my head where I thought I would bust.

The victory’s mine for I gave Him my load

As He carries me through I know I will grow.

From My First Book

I’m not ready for life,

still in badly-needed repair

forced to go on

no relief, falling apart moves

downed low energy operation,

rest so far away.

Where’s my help?

Oh how we’ve danced

by the light of the flame.

I looked at you, you looked at me

The love of a dance

by the light of a flame

I entered in and I stretched out my hands.

I bid you to come

and to burn in the flame,

you backed away

somewhere into the night.

Then you were gone

no longer my song.

Now I do stand

in the light of His flame

ever to burn

Yet I’m not consumed.

Still in my mind

as you’ve faded to night.

Though I do burn

makes it hard to see the light.

Being rebuilt

takes oh so much time.

Though I do stand

How I’m running my mind.

Now I’m learning to close

to the things that I see

and watch as the flame

has its way

within me.

I am engulfed

I watch as I burn

my senses renewed

as I rest in the flame.

I see the fire burn in my eyes

my space is enlarged

as I now know thy name.

When one person lives their life through another as their OWN life’s source, to feel centered in their decision making, they think through the eyes of this other person because of their insecurities. If love and truth do not come together here (to bring light to a situation) then we’re going to continue to have a perception that is warped through poor choices. There will be no seeing eye to eye for effectual communication. For here we will try to find our way in the dark by looking for light in the reality of another. Then when making decisions we think that we’ve arrived when we have not. Here a door is left open for poor boundaries and bad choices, for falsehood can easily be mistaken as the truth.

A bad pattern is a heritage which keeps on teaching the insanity that being a less than whole person is okay. God meets us where we are at first; and then by His grace He reveals to us that He accepts us for who we are, just as we are. We are found being able to be led from this starting point. Where we were less than whole we both promoted and cultivated a reality that was left off balance; one where we were not capable of viewing life correctly.

One person gets destroyed by another because they let them. The root cause of this stems from the confusion of making choices due to a damaged line of reasoning. An outlook from the dark puts limitations on life as well. Only a relationship with the most qualified God will allow us sight into the truth, as to be able to love ourselves to health through a light relationship with Himself. Then are we able to gain sight to become more aware. With space for a fresh perspective we grow to move onto a plateau where we can really see how things are. Our new plain of sight in our line of reasoning then ripples out into all our other relationships as well.

Part One

Here now are some of my struggles on my journey towards sanity, which most consider to be lots of poems.

I’ve packed my bags #1

and have left our home

my suitcase full of emotions

is no longer yours to own.

You said you want out

so out you go

I’ll not share my life with you

which you want to control

and now let me alone.

You ask me how I’m doing

and you say that your my friend

now you’re no longer a part of my life complete

How do I view you?

without my love and support

as now I just see you for all your faults

There’s no longer mine

just only yours

Not being able

for now I’m unstable

Catch me Lord

and hold me through my pain

heal me at the end of self

and keep me by Your grace.

Passive aggressive behavior causes us not to look at our own problems and keeps us in the darkness from which Christ came to bring us out. Here we think denial of a problem is an easier way out, but it only keeps us tied into