Why Women Act Out

By Otto Hines

Do you change relationships like you change undergarments? Do you struggle with things that your mate says to you that triggers unpredictable responses? Do you have a problem with intimacy? Do you fi nd yourself moody without any real reason toward your partner? Well the book Why Women Act Out is a self help book that will help impact the reader to take control of their lives. This book has been written especially to women regardless of ethnicity that are struggling in their marriage and in their relationships. Everyone has baggage that they bring into the relationship. However, the effect that ones baggage can have on their partner can make or break the relationship. Why Women Act Out gives a realistic view of why women respond the way they do and how they can change their response by taking a practical look at their circumstances.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 29, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456730321

Otto Hines

Bishop Otto Hines is described as a “wise counselor”, “intuitive innovator”, “pragmatic yet transformational leader”, and “creative visionary”, who promotes the fostering of relationship between humanity and God. Bishop Hines is the Founder and Senior Pastor of Kingdom Building Worship Ministries where he has counseled thousands over the past 11 years of pasturing. Bishop Hines encourages healthy interrelationships that are challenged by issues induced by life experiences. He is sought after internationally to motivate people of all walks of life to put feet to their vision and to endorse healthy relationships. He currently resides in Atlanta, Ga where he and his wife Towanda Hines of 21 years have raised 4 beautiful children Lee, Chaz, Otto Jr, and Nicole.

Book preview

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to my beautiful wife Towanda Hines who has been my wife for 22 years. She has proven to be my good thing. I can’t say that I have done everything right but I have learned over these 22 years how to handle her and love her the way she should be loved. I did not understand why woman felt so deeply with their heart until one day it dawned on me that woman respond the way they do because they don’t feel that they have been heard nor do they feel understood. In light of this information I began to handle her differently, when I did I watched her change how she responded to conflict and how she respond to me as her husband. I thank her for teaching me how to love.

ACKNOWLEGEMENTS

I want to acknowledge my five children Lee, Chaz, Otto Jr., Nicole, and Aliscia. They have been my inspiration; for they are the best children any parent could ever have. I am a blessed man because he has given me five children that love God and are filled with the Holy Spirit.

I want to acknowledge my family who has been great supporters of my ministry over the years. I am able to do what I do because of their love and respect for me as a man of God.

I want to acknowledge my mom Phyllis Hines. There is no one like my mom. She has been the epitome of motherhood and a great example of what a mother should be and how a mother should raise a child. I would not be who I am today without my mom.

I want to acknowledge my only sister Taj Hines whom I love dearly. I would like to acknowledge my cousin Tasha Williams which is very much like my sister for she has been a great supporter spiritually to me down through the years. I would like acknowledge my family members that have been a blessing to me down through the years Kevin and Keisha Hawkins, Antwaine Williams, Michelle Matthews.

Thank you Pastor Esther Robinson and Prophetess Donine Wallace for prophesying to me about this book, it has finally come to fruition.

Lastly I want to dedicate this book to my extended family my church Kingdom Building Worship Ministry. There are too many people to name but my church has been my inspiration to finish this book to hopefully be a blessing to the world. As I always say there are no people like Kingdom Building people.

Contents

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEGEMENTS

Introduction

A Word From Bishop Otto Hines

Chapter One

Women Feel And Reason With Their Hearts

Chapter Two

Compartmentalizing Your Emotions

Chapter Three

Mental Or Misunderstood

Chapter Four

Bag Lady: Overcoming Emotional Baggage

Chapter Five

Communication Error: The Art Of Miscommunication

Chapter Six

The Lioness Syndrome: Give Back The Pants

Chapter Seven

Secret Closet: Emotional Intimacy

Chapter Eight

Unforgiveness or Forgiveness: The Danger of Anger

Chapter Nine

Pursuing Wholeness

Chapter Ten

Case Studies: Purging Defective Emotions For Liberation

Introduction

A Word From Bishop Otto Hines

Ivette’s Testimony:

At four years old, Ivette witnessed her father beating her mother. Of course, she did not fully understand why her beloved father was so angry, however, over the next nine years she would come to understand what was causing his demons. Ivette’s father was an alcoholic who began drinking while a young soldier in the army. He was eighteen years old when he enlisted and it would not take long for him to fall under the influence and strain of the military. By the time Ivette witnessed that first act of violence against her mother, her father was already out of control. Now, forty years later, Ivette can still recount the intricate details of her father’s horrific act against her mother. She recalls how she was suddenly awakened by her mother bursting in her room and leaping frantically on to her bed. Her angry father managed to ignore Ivette’s screams as he began dragging her mother off of the bed and onto the floor. Once on the floor, Ivette remembers how he quickly pounced on her mother’s small frame and with brute force began banging her head against the cast iron radiator that was bolted down in the corner of her room.

While giving this testimony, Ivette begins to shake as she describes how blood ran down her mother’s beautiful face from the wound on top of her head. Ivette goes on to share how her mother’s long black hair was wrapped around her father’s hand as he used it as leverage to continue banging her mother’s head against the radiator. This unmerciful beating stopped abruptly only when Ivette mustered up the courage to ball up her tiny fists and began pounding them onto her father’s back. Her actions appeared to stun her father and he began to cry, releasing her mother’s hair from his tight grip and retreating to the living room couch. To this day, Ivette refuses to drink alcohol because she can remember the smell of hard liquor on her father’s breath as he snored on the couch after assaulting her mother.

Ivette witnessed countless beatings following that traumatic episode. Her mother would not leave the abusive marriage until Ivette was thirteen years old. As a result, Ivette confesses that her adult life has been locked in a cycle of physical, emotional and mental, abuse. She states that she has been married and divorced four times to men who have beaten her and who she has also abused. Ivette has finally grown tired of living out-of-control, and strongly desires to break the unhealthy patterns that were created by her childhood trauma and memories that have haunted her for forty years.

***

During my many years in ministry I have facilitated innumerable counseling sessions with women just like Ivette who long to be delivered from issues stemming from their past. So many women are walking around trying hard to make themselves and others believe that they are functioning well. However, most know that they are merely a shell of who God ordained them to be. Many women are entering marriages, motherhood, careers, friendships, business partnerships, and other relationships, damaged by years of compounded abuses, unresolved issues, unmet needs, unhealed hurts, unforgiveness, and other afflictions that have caused emotional baggage. Many times, when these women act out aggressively, those around them are shockingly alerted to the fact that something is very wrong. It is time that emotionally bound women are given instruction on how to liberate themselves from the traumatic injuries of the heart.

This book is meant to help women like Ivette who have grown tired of living their lives void of the healing tools needed to move forward toward a more fulfilling life. This book is for the many emotionally scarred mothers, daughters, wives, sisters, aunts, business partners, friends, and loved ones, who struggle with challenging behaviors that dictate who they are and how they conduct themselves. Through this book, I am seeking to help identify women who have been bound by some wrong or reprehensible deed, and the residue of their past has them confined to an unhealthy and emotionally unbalanced life. Traumatic memories and emotional baggage hide in a woman’s wounded heart, and are always ready to erupt and wreck havoc upon friendships, intimate relationships, marriages, family members, co-workers, strangers, and even upon themselves. Thus, this book is for women who are stuck in a cycle of dysfunction without knowing how to break free from the chaos ruling their lives. Finally, this book was written to help the countless numbers of women who have grown excessively tired of acting out uncontrollably because of past hurts, but who want to finally take back their lives and live it to its divinely ordered fullest.

The statement Why Women Act Out is not meant to place judgment on women. It is important to understand from the onset that in no way am I blaming emotionally injured women for all the faults of the world. On the contrary, men play their own unique role in why divorce is on the rise, why children are out of control, and why the world as a whole seems so out of sync with what God originally purposed. I hold a very high regard for women and fully believe that women are unique creations of God who have been gifted by God to operate in ways that men have not been gifted to operate. Nevertheless, because I counsel women who confess to struggling with bad decisions making practices which are cyclical in nature, my focus is on helping women obtain liberation from experiences that have altered their emotions and kept them bound. Ivette’s testimony is a perfect example of how a life can fail to prosper when memories of the past have a person trapped. Therefore, it is important to understand that holding on to emotional baggage can lead to an inability to live a healthy and fulfilling life.

The good news is that no woman is without the ability to be healed, because with God all things are possible; that is God’s bottom line and thus is settled in heaven. However, the very first step to healing must be yours; like Ivette, you must be willing to make a conscious decision to see yourself free of the emotional weights that have held you bound for so long. If you can trust God, then I encourage you to move into the next chapters of this book to obtain healing for your soul. Understand that God has predestined and designed your life to be free of everything that debilitates and destroys opportunities for healing and fulfillment. Through His word you are assured that He wishes above all things that your life prospers and be in good health even as your soul prospers. It is my hope that