Semmaster's Thoughts: Life of a Little Man

By Steven Eugene Miller

Semmaster's Thoughts are poems written and based on the struggles of a small town boy trying to cope with being different. He was too tall to be a midget or dwarf and not tall enough to be "normal." His self esteem sunk lower than a clam at the bottom of a pond when his brother drowned in a lake on a farm that he was working on. His brother was sixteen years old, in the prime of his life, leaving his fourteen years old brother to ponder how to continue life without his mentor. Tommy, the young boy's brother, was perceived as a god, with the boy's entire identity dependent on the personality and actions of this boyhood man. The gift of lyrical expression was thrust within the soul of this boy, to connect with a higher and mightier mentor, to guide him through adulthood. As he grew into a man, a soldier, a husband and a father, the gift took control of the little man as he began to master his craft. The poems in this book show the progression of the mind of a troubled boys evolution into a man of controversy. This book delves into the complexities, the simple, the humorous and reflective views of "The Little Man" who grew to be known as Semmaster. Calligraphy on front cover done by Kris L. Stephens.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jun 22, 2007
• ISBN: 9781452093253

Steven Eugene Miller

Semmaster was born Steven Eugene Miller on the twenty second of February, nineteen hundred and fifty five in Springfield, Ohio to Clarence Fred and Winifred Ann (Armstrong) Miller. He was the seventh single birth born into the Miller clan of ten children with two sets of twins. Born in the middle of the two sets of twins, he entered the world exactly one year and one day after the first set and two years and five months before the second. The early years of his life were consumed imitating every movement, emotion and thought of his brother, Tommy, the fifth born and elder brother, by two years. The dynamics of the Miller family consisted of five girls and five boys, five left handed and five right. The names and age differences are as follows: Brenda Joyce-1947; Clarence Fredrick-1949; Gregory-1950; Sharen-1951; Thomas Edward-1952; Teresa Ann and Terry Alan (Twins)-1954; Steven Eugene-1955; Cynthia Diane and Carolyn Denise (Twins)-1957. Life in such a large family, with the closeness of age, was like a mini United Nations. The alliances were Tommy, Terry and Stevie (TTS); Teresa, Cindy and Carol (TCC); Clarence and Greg (CG) and the final was Brenda and Sharen (BS). Within each nation at 2539 Lexington Avenue, there were constant battles for supremacy of everything from control over the TV to command of the telephone. The co-chairmen, our parents, of the U. N. settled most disputes with a conference-call in the basement. Through the years, these conferences re-affirmed the closeness of the nations as a whole. The author, through his parents, has learned to manipulate all adversities in life with a little humor and a strong dose of faith. The spirit guides the destiny of Semmaster into the humorous, complex and reflective thoughts of a little man.

Book preview

Contents

SEMMASTER’S THOUGHTS

A Little Man

WHY

A PROBLEM

LIFE

WHAT IS LOVE

SOMEONE

Wonder

WALKING

LOVE

THE DEVIL

NIGGERBOY

MY LOVE

YOU AND I

A BEAUTIFUL LOVE

A GIRL

THE RAP OF A LITTLE MAN

Semmaster

Wildflower

Watching

Golden Lady

Before I Leave

Friends Forever

The Sea

Sandra

Wish

Alone

Mind Explosion

Last Poem

Holding On

THE AFRICAN QUEEN

My Alter Ego

At Season’s End

Imagination

Lady Love

THOSE THREE WORDS

Permeate

Terry the turkey

Words

THE AMERICAN WAY

LAND OF THE FREE

A Soldier’s Prayer

A Man Does

BADGE OF HONOR HALL OF SHAME!

American Rain

IAM

Of Body And Mind

APOSTLE PAUL

The Big Little Man (1975)

Mother (1975)

Winifred

A MOTHER’S Poem

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

WHO ATE THAT ROLL?

IF YOU ONLY KNEW

A TIME TO REMEMBER

A CHILD’S LOVE

LOVE CRIES

A FATHER’S LOVE

BEGINNING OF THE END!

REFLECTIONS

SEMMASTER’S THOUGHTS

Semmaster’s Thoughts are a series of poems partitioned by the emotional reflections of a man who has finally taken control of his body, mind and soul from the demons within. The Great Master has awakened my senses to the sweet smells, sounds and sights of a literary world full of the essence, verbal expressions and visions that has long been ascending from gut to mouth to paper, the truth as it reflects the path I must trek to enter into the Mansion of The Creator. Without further ado, I give you:

Semmaster

I started writing at the ripe old age of fourteen when the Lord decided to call my brother, Tommy, Home. I was about to enter the eighth grade when my whole life was turned upside down. At the age of fourteen when most teenagers were testing their manhood and vying for the attention of the young girls, I was searching for my identity. I was more than just your typical little brother. I was a clone of Tommy. I didn’t want to be like my brother, I wanted to be Tommy. When the Lord commissioned Tommy into the Palace of the Saved, I felt demoted to the house of the damned. One of the first poems that I wrote, after the death of my brother, summed up the life in which I was doomed to live out.

A Little Man

I am just a little man,

Who likes to sit and worry,

My mind is working in a trance,

And I’m always in a hurry,

I am just a little man,

Who walks the streets at night,

I’m always thinking of romance,

Or trying to start a fight,

I am just a little man,

Who’s searching for a goal,

But I’ve been searching all my life,

And still there’s no place I can go,

I am just a little man,

Who curses, cheats and lies,

I am no good on this land,

AND HELL- BOUND IF I DIE.

I began to question the purpose of my whole existence without my brother. I had never felt so alone in my life. The eighth grade was like a pipe draining whatever contents it held into an airless atmosphere, suffocating the very being of the person born Steven Eugene Miller. This first set of poems along with the one written above are poems written while in the eighth and ninth grades. They delve into the mind of a very lost and confused little man searching for a small corner in which to lay his soul.

WHY

Why do people hate me,

Why am I confused,

Why am I mistreated,

Why am I misused,

Why am I so lonely,

Why am I so blue,

How can you keep living,

When no one cares for you.

Why can’t I be right,

Why can’t I be loved,

Why do I get tossed around,

Beaten, pushed and shoved,

Why do I cause trouble,

Why am I displeased,

Why do I feel unwanted,

Why does God love me.

Even with all the turmoil complicating my young life, deep down I felt that there just had to be some serenity in