Secret Agent Man

By R. Richard

I mean, how bad can it get? The worst that can happen is that I wind up stranded some 40 miles from any hope of help, with no comm gear. I began to wish I had brought along a bucket of takeout chicken and a gallon of beer or something. Oh, well.
In the course of 40 miles of bad road I probably take a thousand miles off the tires and several years off my kidneys. However, my luck holds and Big Jim done finally finds himself parked at Gamma Site.
Gamma Site consists of a few old, rusty, bullet riddled Quonset huts. The moon has begun to rise and there's the kind of sickly glow over the landscape that makes ol’ Jim have to remind himself that there really are no such things as werewolves and vampires (Cross my fingers for luck here.)
At midnight, I get out of my portable womb Hummvee and walk into the middle of what had once been the Gamma Site main square. If I ever felt naked and alone, this is the time.
I'm kind of gawking about for some sign of a flying saucer when I notice that I am standing in a beam of some sort of shimmering light. I say standing in a beam in that I'm very rapidly rising upwards from the ground, presumably toward an invisible flying saucer above (I hope.)
The beam dumps me out on some sort of metal (?) plate in front of a large, nasty individual who's not exactly human. He isn’t green and doesn't have fangs (thank God!), but he's definitely not human. It says, “You? Navigation Officer?” grumble, grumble.
The grumbles are in some sort of unknown (alien I presume) language. However, I know what he said, “The crap they send us for recruits is a crime. I seen better pimping for low class whores back on Rigel 17. Etc.” Some things never change, no matter where you go.
A smaller being steps forward. He scans me up and down and says, “Well, if General Smith sent you, I guess you’ll do. I guess, from general considerations that his statement is the same as the previous guy’s statement, only with a (very) small touch of officer class. We stand for a few moments, staring at each other. He finally says, “I am Clavor.”
I said, “Clavor, I'm James McGregor, usually called Big Jim.”
Large and nasty just snorts. (Clavor throws large and nasty a (I presume) withering glance) Clavor then asks me, “Do you know what I need you to do?
I tell Clavor, “I do tactical computers. I presume that’s why you want me.”
Clavor blinks rapidly several times (I later learn that Clavor’s type uses that as a sort of amazed reaction.) He says, “Then General Smith told you what I need?”
I tell Clavor, “The General told me only to meet you here.”
Clavor then says, with a sneer, “Well, it would seem that the General sent me one who can think; unlike some of my other crew.”
Clavor, having duly insulted his inferior, walks me over to the TAC computer suite. The place is a shambles. There are signs of a direct hit on the TAC computer site by some sort of burning weapon. There are gaps in the racks and a few hanging wires. The suite consists of three machines.
With a feeling of dread I ask, “Where are the rest of the TAC computers?”
Clavor says, “Actually, we have been through a battle sequence. We don’t quite have a full suite of TAC computers. You'll have to make do with what we have left.”
Over the next hour or so, Clavor shows me how to load the TAC computer programs and data suites and how to read the alien language and numeric digits. The aliens use hexadecimal for their numeric displays. The hex isn’t so bad by itself, but I also have to learn how to say each digit, in alien. I also have to learn a few alien words to go with the numeric data.
The aliens use a multi-reference, polar type navigation system, whereas I'm used to working with a Cartesian system. Oh well, that’s why they pay me the big bucks. I mean, what the hell, this will just be a milk run, what with a new, inexperienced Nav Officer. Right?

• Language: English
• Publisher: R. Richard
• Release date: Jun 8, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370313358

R. Richard

I'm the co-author, with Sunset Thomas, of Anatomy of An Adult Film.I have 48 novels and over 299 short stories currently published.I spent my early years in the part of Los Angeles known as the South Central. I was known as Whi' Boy, which was sufficient to identify me in that place. I'm a skilled Kung Fu player, using a system that I learned from a Korean I knew only as 'Pak.' It would be easier to tell you the places that Pak wasn't wanted by the police, rather than the places where he was wanted by the police. Pak's Kung Fu system, augmented by some bits and pieces from some Chinese practitioners is quick and effective, or I wouldn't be alive today.My early education was mostly obtained by stealing books from the public library (I always returned them and the Librarian even began to provide me with reading lists.) I did go to high schools, but I never really learned anything there. I eventually graduated from the University of California at Los Angeles, UCLA, with a degree in mathematics.I work as a Systems Analyst and also make a part of my living as a professional gambler (legal in Nevada.) I write science fiction and erotica. My published novels are:Anatomy of An Adult Film (With Sunset Thomas)1. Second Chance: God Killer2. Second Chance: Sky Pirate3. Second Chance: Scroll Seeker4. Second Chance: King of The Islands5. Second Chance: King of Zaya6. Second Chance: Duke of Averon7. Second Chance: King of Golomon8. Second Chance: King Of The Sky9. Second Chance: Warlord of Ifrequeh10. Second Chance: King of Ariby11. Second Chance: King of Mesodania12. Second Chance: King of Avuls13. Second Chance: King of Kemet14. Second Chance: King of Zorran15. Second Chance: King of Two Worlds16. Second Chance: King of Averon17. Second Chance: King's Duties18. Second Chance: King of The New WorldAdventurer: Simulation ProblemAdventurer: Pannar ProblemA Programmer's GambitAmateur StripperBeach MurdersBondage HouseCorporate Sex SlavesFriday NightGo Naked In The SoftwareGrasshopper WinterInvoluntary NudeLayoffNot A HeroPirates of The KeysSummer of SexThe LakeThe Last Moon DanceThe Nude Adventures of Plain JaneThe Secret Life of Wanda WilsonTails of the Pussycat LoungeTo Keep A JobTopless RestaurantToy WhoresVix: The MarineWayward BoyShort Stories:A Christmas Visit

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