Too Sexy For My Bedpan: Too Sexy, #1

By Elizabeth Ann Smith

At the age of 30, while training for a marathon, Elizabeth began experiencing symptoms of ALS. Written by blinking her eyes using a special computer, this book is about persevering with faith at every turn. Practical, yet hilarious, it offers help to those caring and being cared for with a unique perspective. Be motivated and inspired, as Elizabeth takes you on her journey of survival and ongoing recovery . Life doesn't have to end after a terminal diagnosis and in many ways, it truly just begins!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Elizabeth Smith
• Release date: Jan 20, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386944829

Elizabeth Ann Smith

At the age of 30, while training for a marathon, Elizabeth began experiencing symptoms of ALS. Using a special computer to write by blinking her eyes, she shares her experiences about persevering with faith at every turn. Be motivated and inspired, as Elizabeth takes you on her journey of survival and ongoing recovery . Life doesn't have to end after a terminal diagnosis and in many ways, it truly just begins!

Book preview

About the Author

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Elizabeth was born and raised in Raytown, Missouri, a suburb of Kansas City. She always enjoyed dance, softball, skiing, running, tennis, playing piano, and travelling. She started waiting tables at the age of 14, and at 17, began traveling the country selling officially licensed sporting goods to pay for college.

She received her bachelor’s degree from Florida Atlantic University in International Business followed by a short residency in Seville, Spain. Elizabeth acquired a master’s of business administration with a double major in Finance and Marketing from the University of Missouri, Kansas City. Following college, she became a financial analyst for a Kansas City law firm before making the transition to the pharmaceutical industry.

After transferring to California with Dura Pharmaceuticals, she began pursuing acting and modeling. A member of the Screen Actors Guild, her acting career was not all she had hoped, but included the following movies: Alien 3000, Dismembered, Blood Dancers, Blood Gnome; and short films: Dale Blackwood’s School of Panhandling, The Naked Run, Donut Hole, Nanotechnology and Human Behavior. She was Agent Grace in the comic book Babeforce*. Her commercials included: Dove soap (Charlize Theron’s body double), DSW, and the Revostyler infomercial. Her television appearances included: the featured model on the television show Just Shoot Me; and a contestant on the Fox television reality show, Who wants to be a Princess,** where she was selected as a top five finalist by the Prince of Rome. To support her acting career, she traveled the trade show circuits as a bilingual spokeswoman for companies such as Jaguar and Infinity. Elizabeth also tried her hand as a stand-up comedian, performing her act, Bars and Stripes (registered with the Screen Writers Guild), at the world famous Improv.

Elizabeth gave up show biz and left Hollywood for Portland, Oregon, returning to pharmaceutical sales. She was accepted for an internal rotation at Watson Pharmaceuticals in new media marketing and worked between their headquarters in Corona, California and Morristown, New Jersey. During this time, Elizabeth got married in Central Park, New York.

After her diagnosis of ALS, she launched an online business with the help of caregivers. Christian Chicks sold designer fabric bible covers and assisted living products made by the disabled. Since relocating to Colorado in 2012 to be near her church, Elizabeth has been managing her care team and planning her next venture which she hopes will include starting the world’s first feeding tube friendly franchise for whole food take-out, being a care consultant, writing more books, attending Charis Bible College, launching new businesses and being a Christian motivational speaker.

* Babeforce trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dc1TiV9dVaY

** Who Wants To Be a Princess? https://vimeo.com/243374401/593d7a09e4

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Forward

Caregiving is a gift that you give away. It can be both very rewarding and difficult and is not for the fragile or faint of heart. One thing is for certain, it is one of the most important things that you could ever do with your life. You are filling a vital and extremely important role that family is either unable or unwilling to do. I believe God gives special rewards to people who lovingly take care of others who are not able to care for themselves. It is definitely not for everyone and requires a caring heart, extreme patience, observation, attention to detail, a calm demeanor, confidence, a can-do spirit, intelligence, communication skills and both emotional and physical endurance.

Whether you’re pursuing caregiving as a career or you ended up being a caregiver by default -like my husband - you want to give the best care possible. It is my hope that this book will be a help to you. Being a caregiver starts with your heart. If you do not have the right heart it will be apparent to everyone you care for, so please find a different occupation!

If you have found yourself in need of care, please don’t learn the hard way like I did. I pray this book puts a fire under your butt to take control of your life and don’t take any crap! No matter what has brought you to this point in your life, God has not forgotten about you. He has a plan for you and will redeem the years you have lost. The best is yet to come if you stay in faith.

At the time I am writing this book (2017), I have had almost eight years of full-time care (ALS symptoms began Summer 2005) and have had nearly 350 caregivers. I currently manage a team of 6-8 girls and I live in Loveland, Colorado.

UNFORTUNATELY, I AM not allowed to keep regular income from the sale of this book. If you would like to make a donation for my uncovered expenses, please send a check payable to: Colorado Fund for People with Disabilities for benefit of Elizabeth Smith, 1355 South Colorado Boulevard Suite 920, Denver, Colorado 80222. Every gift is greatly appreciated!

The Role of a Caregiver

Ibelieve the role of a caregiver is to love, to increase abilities and independence and to advocate.

LOVE

If there is not a personal relationship between two people who are working intimately together, it’s a real drag. I imagine that is the way God feels when we tune Him out. I have come a long way since my first caregiver and I would like to think that I have become easier to care for (I didn’t say easy, I said EASIER!). The most important thing I have learned about working this closely with someone is that you need to give each other the benefit of the doubt and not take offense. As my care has evolved, we have bigger fish to fry than to worry about if you are mad at me or if I’m mad at you. It’s time to put your big girl panties on and keep them on. It’s a mature, God-ly type of love that forgives easily and quickly. It’s a love that is patient and kind. I am grateful for the people who help me and thank God for them constantly, but none of us are Jesus. You know that old song, Love the one you’re with? That just might be about caregivers, because if they didn’t show up, you’d be out of luck!

INCREASE ABILITIES and independence

It’s critical that as a caregiver, you do not take away options just because it’s easier for you. You need to let people make their own decisions if they are able. When a caregiver picks my socks for me and doesn’t let me pick them, I make them put them back in the drawer and let ME choose. Even if the socks happen to be the ones I was going to pick, back in the drawer they go! Sorry, but I’m a grown woman and you will not be making ANY of my decisions for me thank you very much! I’m always amazed when caregivers attempt to make decisions and speak for me. I can promise you one thing, they will never succeed. Just because I’m currently unable to get things myself doesn’t mean I’m brain dead. It’s not about the socks, it’s the principle. If I let you choose my socks, what’s next? Your role is to increase my independence, not decrease it. If you are being cared for, do not let people make decisions for you no matter who they are. Don’t give away the power you still have.

Increasing abilities can be mental or physical. It will be