Bye-Bye Self-Sabotage!: Drop Your Baggage - Love Your Life

By Tracy Latz M.D. and Marion Ross Ph.D.

Bye Bye SelfSabotage
by Tracy Latz & Marion Ross
Dr.s Latz and Ross lead you on a wild journey toward your own personal transformation by mindfully applying concepts in neuroscience, quantum physics, and a combination of proven techniques and practices to blast through the obstacles blocking your path. The authors define the shrinks greatest hits (a.k.a. the 12 Keys) - the core issues that create chaos, stress and lack of joy in your relationships, health, career and life. In the opening of the book, Dr. Bernie Siegel, author of Love, Medicine and Miracles, says The lessons to be learned from this book are age-old but re-framed in ways that are easy to incorporate and appropriate to our lifestyle today. They ring true for me.
This book gives profound, easy-to-use practices that allow the readers to rapidly transform their lives! Dr.s Latz and Ross are called The Shift Doctors because in this book you will find:
The Neuroscience behind Self-Sabotage and why it has been so difficult for you to create lasting change
Bulleted, targeted recommendations at the end of each chapter to show the most rapid way to overcome issues that affect your health, emotions, relationships, finances, and career along with real-life examples of how others have shifted their lives using the tools in this book.
An intensive personal healing journey allowing you to shift your perception and situation for a jump start in life
A reference guide to be consulted one chapter at a time whenever a specific issue or challenge arises and stalls forward momentum in your life.
For anyone truly serious about changing any long-established dysfunctional emotional patterns, thoughts or behaviors that have them stuck, Bye Bye Self- Sabotage is the answer!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 19, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524626389

Tracy Latz M.D.

Tracy Latz, M.D. is an integrative psychiatrist and certified medical intuitive, metaphysician and holistic healer. Marion Ross, Ph.D. is a holistic healer, metaphysician, transpersonal psychologist and is certified in mind body medicine. Both doctors have successful integrative, healing and psychotherapy practices that utilize Entura art as one of many tools for their clients and students. Tracy and Marion have written four Shift Your Life® books titled “Bye-Bye Self Sabotage: Drop Your Baggage- Love Your Life“, “Entrepreneurial Alignment: How to Overcome Self-Sabotage in Business“, “Shift: A Woman’s Guide to Transformation“, and “SHIFT: 12 Keys to Shift Your Life“. This book is dedicated to the Entura Artist in us all.

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© 2016 Tracy Latz, M.D. & Marion Ross, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/19/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-2639-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-2637-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-2638-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016914289

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Acknowledgements

FOREWORD to Bye-Bye Self-Sabotage

By BERNIE SIEGEL, MD

Preface

Bye-Bye Self-Sabotage!

The Neuroscience Behind Self-Sabotage – Or Why Is It So Difficult to Create Lasting Change in Our Live?

KEY 1. The Obstacle of Feeling Unloved

KEY 2. The Obstacle of Guilt and Shame

KEY 3. The Obstacle of Abandonment

KEY 4. The Obstacle of Anger and Resentment

KEY 5: The Obstacle of How We Define Our Self

KEY 6. The Obstacle of Lack of Self-Love

KEY 7. The Obstacle of Inadequacy and Powerlessness

KEY 8. The Obstacle of Heartache

KEY 9: The Obstacle of the Unknown

KEY 10: The Obstacle of Stress

KEY 11: The Obstacle of Habit: Create Yourself and Your Life Anew Every Day

KEY 12: The Obstacle of Self-Discipline: Stay Connected Every Day

Beyond the Keys: Life After Stepping Into the Powerful Creative Being That You Are

Appendix

Bibliography

About the Authors

Additional Materials Are Available

To Assist you with Your Shift:

There are two companion CDs containing the meditations and exercises presented in SHIFT:

CD 1: SHIFT, Guided Meditations

CD 2: SHIFT, Mindfulness Meditations, Chakra

Exercises, Releasing Shadow Characters Exercise

For free downloads and more information about how to purchase these CD’s, please go to our website at: www.shiftyourlife.com

Read our Articles and Subscribe to our Newsletters at http://www.shiftyourlife.com! We respond to our readers’ inquiries.

Acknowledgements

Our deep appreciation goes to our wonderful teachers who encouraged us from kindergarten through graduate school and Delphi University, as well as to Jonathan Goldman, Robert Peng, and all of our students who inspired us. Joyful cartoons are the work of Tracy, and additional illustrations are contributions from talented Nani and some of our students.

From Tracy: I would like to express my sincere gratitude to my three incredible, talented children Erin, Nicholas and Austin, who are bright Lights in my life and have been so supportive and understanding of the hours their mother spent working on this manuscript. Thanks to my own talented mother, Pat Thompson, for her constant love and support in all my endeavors and her sage advice, my sisters Allison and Cheryl for their Baba Yaga Sisterhood (you know how I feel), my brother Mark and his wife Sandy for their support (more than words can say), and my brother Brad whose presence I can feel from a dimension away. Dad, thanks for the lessons you taught me that I didn’t understand until you were gone from this physical realm.

From Marion: Many thanks to my mother, dear friends and godchildren on several continents for all of their love and support. Much gratitude and appreciation goes to my Dad and Billie for all their love and encouragement in my pursuit of Passion and Purpose.

FOREWORD to Bye-Bye Self-Sabotage

By BERNIE SIEGEL, MD

The lessons to be learned from this book are age old but reframed in ways that are easy to incorporate and appropriate to our lifestyle today. They ring true for me because of my experience with cancer patients who display a survivor personality, exceed expectations and more often survive when no one gives them any hope. Shifting and finding the right path, in order to survive, are what various myths and religions teach us. We are to find our way and not lose our lives by becoming what others want us to be. We must, however, have the courage to lose the life imposed upon us by others in order to save the life we desire to live; for women that means choosing to live their authentic life and not a role. It is easier to have coaches and guides to help you on the path to transformation; and this book can do that for you. It is far less painful to learn from the experience and wounds of others than to have to experience them yourself. As Hemingway said, The world breaks everyone but some of us become strong at the broken places. Better to learn how to be strong enough to handle life than to learn from a disaster. So read on.

The key to heaven also opens the door to hell. We need to learn how to open the right doors in order to overcome the obstacles which life presents us with. Life is not unfair but it is difficult and if the authority figures in your life did not teach you how to overcome obstacles and difficulties then you need to learn from the experience of others. We all need role models we can imitate and become, in a sense, like water. Water can change from liquid to solid to vapor depending on the conditions it meets in order to survive. It knows how to find its way around and over all the obstacles it meets and you never hear water complain because it knows how to find its way through life. But first you must stop fearing the future, calm yourself, not be agitated by the conditions around you and look into your quiet pond, so you can see your reflection in the still water and learn to know your true self.

Limitations are imposed upon us by the hypnotic words we hear from our parents, teachers, clergy, doctors and other authority figures as we are growing up. They are related to their beliefs and problems and not our true nature. The tools for removing these limitations are presented here. I see life as a labor pain of self birthing and when you are willing to go through transformation and give birth to your true self you will realize how worthwhile the labor pains of your life’s transformation are. I have a drawing by a woman entitled; will the real me please stand up. She drew a woman split down the middle, one half being the professional me and the other half the mommy me. It is easy to see which she prefers being. So why deny yourself the chance to shift and be born again as the person you want to be.

The way to decide is not related to what do you think I should do but to what feels right for you. Every person wants a life of their own and the way to find it was expressed by my mom whenever I had a problem, Do what will make you happy. Yes, we need to feel our way and not think our way through life. As Joseph Campbell said, Only birth conquers death, not the rebirth of something old, but the birth of something new. In order to accomplish this you need to open all the doors to your life, with the keys this book provides. You can abandon your past and begin again free of the burdens imposed upon you. You must also stop visualizing a disastrous future when something happens which you didn’t want or expect to occur. The keys to shifting your images of the future and transformation where taught to me by my mom. It was meant to be. God is redirecting you. Something good will come of this.

The place these choices need to come from is out of your treasure chest; the place where you keep your heart’s desires. Years ago a woman I knew went from HIV+ to HIV- with this motto on her refrigerator. When you live in your heart magic happens. I have that hanging in my home too. And another when looking for guidance said, I was looking for an answer, it came, and its name was cancer. So again may I say learn from their experience and not from life threatening illnesses or major losses.

Your body loves you but it needs to know you love it and your life. Genes do not make decisions. They are turned on and off by the internal messaging from our body chemistry. Monday morning we have more suicides, strokes and heart attacks for a reason and the sweet little twin sister who internalizes her feelings to please others is far more likely to develop breast cancer than her devilish little twin who is doing her own thing and driving mom and dad crazy. The opposite of love is indifference and, even worse, is rejection. These take their toll on all of us. So if you were not loved you are set up for self-destructive behavior and need to re-parent yourself and shift your self image to one you can love, care for and care about.

In his book ‘Cancer Ward’ Solzhenitsyn talks about self induced healing and its symbol is a rainbow colored butterfly. He is talking about what we are capable of and something most doctors don’t understand. The ability to heal is built into all organisms but until you undertake transformation this does not occur. The butterfly is the symbol of transformation and the rainbow represents a life where all the emotions are in order. So let the caterpillar melt away and break out of your cocoon, as the butterfly must if it is to survive. This is about self-transformation because the butterfly’s struggle is what expands its wings and prepares it for life. If you open the cocoon it dies. You must be ready for the change just as a woman in her ninth month is ready to deliver a new life. We are here to help you avoid premature labor.

When growth goes wrong, emotional and physical disease follow as a result. It is important that you find your true path through life. We spend most of our lives in a hypnotic trance state induced by the words we have heard as we grew up. When we grow up and become conscious we can reprogram ourselves and discard the destructive messages of the past. To do that the obstacle of lack of self-love must be overcome. You must love yourself as much as you do your beloved pet. I am not kidding when I say that. I know people who smoke outdoors. Why? Doug and I now smoke in the yard. We are not killing our cats anymore. We hope you are not killing yours. Maimonides, 900 years ago wrote, If people took as good care of themselves as they do their animals they would suffer fewer illnesses.

So love yourself. Say no to what you do not want to do and yes to yourself and the obstacle of powerlessness is removed from your life. Also remember to keep the child in you alive and your childlike sense of humor too. The child in me suggested to Tracy and Marion, the authors, that they add another key in case the first twelve didn’t work: #13 Plastic Surgery and Drugs. Just kidding, but she who laughs lasts and life is uncertain so eat dessert first. Studies reveal that those who laugh live longer and when you are laughing you can’t feel afraid. So take the time to laugh even when there are no reasons to laugh; just do it. We are all multiple personalities so let them all out and give them a chance to express themselves. Don’t be afraid of the obstacle of the unknown or be controlled by the obstacles of habit and self-discipline. As I said, abandon your past and not yourself.

Anger can be appropriate when one is not treated with respect. I tell patients not to be submissive sufferers but to be respants, or responsible participants and that is what shifting is about; your taking an active role in your life. Resentment does not accomplish anything and only hurts you. So the lessons and benefits of forgiveness are important to learn. Love can be a powerful weapon and one can kill with kindness and torment with tenderness and eliminate your enemies.

If you had to introduce yourself to God what would you say? I want to save you from being told, Come back when you know who you are. The wrong answers are ones that separate you from God; like It’s me. or I’m the mother of nine. When you realize the divine and you are one then you are told to come in. So when you get to Heaven and are asked how you want to be introduced say, It’s you. or Your child is here. or Your replacement is here. The latter was an answer I actually received from a high school student who is obviously loved by his parents.

The obstacle of heartache comes when we close our hearts to protect ourselves; but when we freeze and become cold as ice, we can learn something from water. Like water, turning to ice can protect the life beneath it or become a wall that allows no one to enter. When you separate yourself from others, the loneliness affects your immune system and makes your heart more vulnerable too. As W.H. Auden wrote in his poem Miss Gee about cancer, Childless women get it and men when they retire. It’s as if there had to be an outlet for their foiled creative fire.

People’s personalities as shown by drawings they do of themselves or by their personality profiles predict what diseases they are likely to get later in life. And those who feel they were unloved had almost a 100% chance of having a major illness by midlife while loved children had a 25% rate in one study of Harvard students. As Carl Jung said, The future is unconsciously prepared long in advance. So pick up the keys to transformation right now and start creating the woman or man you were meant to be.

Women are survivors and live longer than men with the same cancers. And that is about their connections and relationships but when you are living because of your children or spouse or family then what happens when the kids leave home, spouse dies and family moves away. You need to live because you have a meaningful life and are to decide how to give your love to the world.

Remember the only person who can change your life is you. This book can’t change you. It is up to you to do the work. So I also advise you to find the coaches who can guide you with criticism and feedback so you can acquire the tools and become the person you want to be. Remember this: if you are never criticized by the people in your life it is a bad sign; it means you make excuses rather than learn from your mistakes and so people stop talking to you and stop trying to polish your mirror so you can reflect upon yourself.

Create a role model for yourself and rehearse and practice becoming the person you want to be. While acting on stage, performers’ blood chemistry is changed by the role they are playing; be it a tragedy or comedy. And almost everyone alive is a pathetic actor - so use your life’s time to practice and rehearse. Whenever in doubt about the correct shift and key to healthy transformation remind yourself: Do not let the guilt, shame and blame of the past hold you back. Just keep practicing and rehearsing and seeing yourself as a work in progress. Artists, actors and potters do not throw away their work. They retouch the painting, shift perspective and behavior in the role, or rework the clay. So do the same thing with your life.

-Bernie Siegel, M.D. is an internationally recognized expert in the field of cancer treatment and complementary, holistic medicine. He s devoted to humanizing medical care and medical education. His books Love, Medicine, and Miracles; Peace, Love, and Healing; and How to Live between Office Visits are classics in the field of healing.

Preface

The Yin and Yang of Life: The Journey to find Wholeness in the path of the Divine Female and Divine Male

Throughout the ages, women have been viewed as everything from Goddess to Doormat. What does it mean to be a woman today? We dance through our lives, multitasking and juggling the various roles of daughter, sister, wife, mother, lover, businesswoman, employee, caretaker, friend… sometimes gracefully as a prima ballerina and sometimes disastrously as the masks we wear in the roles we play seem to trip us up- and we fall flat on our faces. When this happens we may feel very stuck, or trapped, or paralyzed, or alone, or just dissatisfied and restless.

Meanwhile, since the dawn of time, the standard perception of the ultimate man has been that of the Gladiator, the Warrior, Knight in Shining Armor and the Competitive Testosterone-Driven Ego-Maniac. What does it mean to be a man in our society? Men struggle with being the provider, family protector, financial management, playing or watching sports, being a husband, good son, brother, father, having a successful career, gaining power, strength, responsibility, being physically fit, being able to fix things, doing manual labor jobs around the house, being goal-oriented, having weapons, and not expressing fears or emotions for fear of appearing weak. When the façade or mask of this impossible male persona or God cracks, then one may feel emasculated, paralyzed, unworthy, like a failure, stuck and alone – wondering who they really are.

At times we can all feel the weight of the world on our shoulders as we attempt to balance expectations and perceived responsibilities. Such is the sorority of the Sisterhood of Woman or the fraternity of the Brotherhood of Man. Divine Woman is the bringer of the Light of the World. Divine Man is the support of the Light and assists with the manifestation and creation of the Light. This concept is most apparent in our physical world during times of darkness. In a perfect world the Divine Male and Divine Female would walk together in concert and Unity in the world within each of us. A balance of Yin and Yang (Divine Female and Divine Male) actually resides within the Spirit en-souled within each of us. When we retreat to our own inner shadows, the Light in our lives and in the world is truly diminished and the effects can be felt in our body, our mind, our emotions, our lives, our families, our friendships and all the other relationships we encounter daily. Globally, it can be felt in the collective consciousness and is apparent and reflected in world politics.

This book is a guide for the journey for those of us who wish to bring Light to the shadows in our lives and our world, enrich our souls and leave a trail of Light for all those whose lives we touch.

To transform and reacquaint our selves with our True Essence (who we truly are) is essential to understanding what is holding us back and causing us to feel stuck. For us to be able to create what we truly desire in our lives, we must do so with an open heart. This book guides you through the process of transformation by providing practical and easy to use tools and techniques to remove the obstacles in your path that have kept you in your shadows. Once removed you can create through your heart, feel more capable of making wise and empowered choices, find your sense of purpose, and create your most heartfelt desires without self-sabotage.

We wish you well on your journey!

Bye-Bye Self-Sabotage!

Self-Sabotage = the enemy within (whether conscious or sub-conscious)

Introduction

Are you feeling stuck? Are you experiencing repetitive negative patterns in your relationships? Is the daily chatter in your mind creating anxiety, powerlessness, sadness or lack of joy in your life? Do your beliefs limit your choices, pursuit of passion, ability to experience abundance or love? Are you frustrated because real change seems so hard to achieve or that the changes you make don’t seem to last?

This book is for anyone who has ever felt blocked in their ability to move forward or a sense that there must be more to life than what they have experienced. If you are interested in understanding and overcoming the hurdles which keep you stuck, Bye-Bye Self-Sabotage gives you the resources to understand the neuroscience behind why you self-sabotage and explains how you can reprogram your mind, reconnect with your heart and make different choices to create lasting change in your life.

Why is this book different? This is a how-to book teaching concepts in neuroscience, quantum physics, and a combination of proven age-old techniques and energy psychology practices that can be mindfully applied to disperse the obstacles blocking your path. These techniques are for you to add to the current tools you may already be using, whether those are medication, individual psychotherapy, nutritional or ayurvedic approaches. We do not encourage you to either stop or adjust medication without consulting your treating physician or healthcare practitioner.

We don’t give empty promises. Rather we offer you the option to choose to begin your own journey unencumbered. If you use the techniques we describe in each of our 12 Keys, you will see positive transformation in your life. It may not happen overnight; the journey for each is a personal one. Some may see shifts in their experiences sooner than others as everyone moves at their own speed and their own level of awareness. It is not a competition.

How do you use this book? You may use this book from start to finish as an intensive personal healing journey during which you shift your situation or jump start your life; or you may use it as a reference guide to be consulted one chapter at a time whenever a specific issue or challenge arises and stalls forward momentum in your life. We recommend that you keep it at your bedside after you have read it through once so that you may clear any issue that resurfaces during the day before you go to sleep at night.

Why do we have 12 Keys? In our experience through more than a decade of working with people, we have found that there are 10 major obstacles or issues that cause us to sabotage our own joyfulness and sense of inner peace. Each of the first 10 Keys presented in our book addresses a specific obstacle. The last 2 Keys address how to create positively (without self-sabotage) from our hearts and how to remain centered in our daily lives on an on-going basis no matter what drama is playing around us. The summary of the 12 Keys is as follows:

Key 1. The Obstacle of Feeling Unloved

Key 2. The Obstacle of Guilt and Shame

Key 3. The Obstacle of Abandonment

Key 4. The Obstacle of Anger and Resentment

Key 5. The Obstacle of How We Define Our Self

Key 6. The Obstacle of