The Instrument of Your Happiness

By Cincinnatus Hibbard

Down a list of eighteen theses, this short book reveals happiness. Its meaning, and its purpose. What is happiness and why do we strive toward it. It is only in this generation that we now understand happiness - the meaning of life. Be renewed in this purpose of happiness and read how to be happy, and perfected.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jan 3, 2018
• ISBN: 9781543923230

Book preview

© 2017  Cincinnatus Hibbard

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

ISBN: 978-1-54-392323-0

This book is dedicated

to you.

To your happiness.

And that of yours.

Table of Contents

Cover

Title

Copyright

Dedication

The Instrument of Your Happiness

{ What follows is a copy of the speech Cincinnatus Hibbard gave

fifty times between January 1 2017 and December 31 2017. It was his script

and now it is yours. }

This paper has been titled

THE INSTRUMENT OF HAPPINESS

[ pause for two beats ]

And

It’s a good

Descriptive title

[ half beat ]

Because the topic of this paper is

THE INSTRUMENTALITY OF HAPPINESS –

Its uses.

[ pause for two beats ]

This topic might strike some of you as

Odd

Because

It implies that happiness needs an argument or any practical justification

That its not

Valuable

In itself.

That its not

Desirable

In itself.

That happiness is not a goal

In itself –

But desirable only as

A means

To some further end

That is.

[ pause ]

But that’s not my meaning.

Happiness is

Both.

Happiness is both a goal or desirable end

And it is a means

To further ends.

[ half beat ]

And those further ends or uses make happiness even more valuable and desirable

Than we think it is.

And they make happiness the goal.

Not a goal – the goal

[ half beat ]

In life,

At any time – in any situation

They make happiness

The objective.

[ beat ]

In my research

I have numbered eighteen distinctly different desirable ends –

In which happiness is the means.

Eighteen.

Happiness is a tool

With eighteen different uses –

Remember those words

It is the thesis

Of this paper –

And of our future lives –

Happiness is a tool

With eighteen uses.

[ the author pauses ]

As odd as it might seem,

This argument

Is needed,

This paper is important –

Because there are some among us

For whom happiness is not the goal in life

But a goal

Competing among others .

[ half beat ]

Those whom sacrifice their happiness

In pursuit of wealth or fame, power, or prowess.

[ pause ]

It is my hope

That by listing – massing these

Eighteen new reasons to pursue happiness

I will convince

Some of these

Misdirected people

To turn back toward their happiness

To make it the goal of their lives.

[ the author pauses ]

For those of the rest of us

Who are already on the path

You will be confirmed in your life path –

You’ll never have doubts again.

Happiness is

The goal –

The very meaning of life.

[ the author pauses ]

I will also tell you how to reach the goal.

How bout that ?

[ the author pauses three beats – break pause ]

Now before

I begin the list

Let me say one more thing

About this title, and the paper it describes.

No matter what we think or say

Pragmatism is our native philosophy.

We are fundamentally practical.

Well,

Pragmatism defines the meaning of a thing

By its practical use or instrumentality

So, topic of this paper can be said to be

The answer

To the question

What is the meaning of happiness ?

What’s it’s purpose ? What’s it for?

What’s the point ?

That question

Is an alternative title to

The instrument of your happiness –

They mean the same thing.

So as I now address myself to the list

I will tell you

The answer

To the question

What is the meaning of happiness ?

In eighteen points.

[ beat ]

And

What is the meaning of life

In just one.

[ the author pauses ]

Now,

THE LIST !

1. Tax Refunds

2. Water Balloon Fights

3. Wonderbread sandwiches

4. Magic shops

5. Bed of Wildflowers

6. Lemon Zest frosting

7. Racing Stripes

8. First Kisses

9. Too many pillows

10. Jam sessions

11. Pizza Parties

12. Broken Records

13. Hamsters

14. Kaleidoscopes

15. Gold Teeth

16. Sketching in Open Air

17. Drum Solos

18. Freshly Minted Pennies

To simply the list of eighteen –

To make it more comprehensible

And memorable,

I have grouped the eighteen uses of happiness

Into five thematic groups,

With five descriptive titles.

[ author pauses three beats

To separate the list’s introduction

From the list ]

The first of these group, titled

Pleasure,

Contains just one of the uses of happiness.

[ half beat ]

The first use of happiness is happiness.

[ beat ]

I have put happiness on the list of its uses

And put happiness first

To reiterate

Within the list

That happiness is an end,

In of itself,

Sufficient

In itself,

Enough.

[ the author pauses ]

But then, of course, the list continues –

The list exists

Because, again,

For some,

Happiness is not a sufficient reason for happiness.

[ the author pauses ]

So,

We continue

To the second group

Titled

Health

[ beat ]

Because it groups the four health benefits of happiness.

[ the author pauses ]

In it is

The second of the eighteen uses of happiness :

Happiness increases your ability to endure physical pain.

[ beat ]

It’s true.

After all,

Within its complex of effects, happiness releases the mild opiates

That are produced within your naturally.

In effect, you are on painkillers when you are happy.

[ the author pauses ]

Painkillers.

That phrasing evokes the non medical, recreational use of opiates.

Happiness is a high.

Happiness is the natural high.

[ beat ]

And its character, as a high, partakes as much from that of cocaine and ecstasy

And acid and booze

As it does from oxy.

[ pause ]

Happiness is kindof like being on every drug,

All at once.

It really is the best shit.

You ought to try it.

[ beat ]

And

With happiness

You can be

High all the time.

High all day,

High all night,

And

High the morning after.

[ pause ]

And, the morning after, getting up early — because you still have a job —

You’ll actually remember all the wild fun you had.

[ beat ]

And

You’ll have no regrets.

[ beat ]

You won’t ruin your life chasing this high.

And

You won’t ruin you’re your health

Unlike these other drugs, happiness actually improves your health.

Mention of which brings us back around to the second health benefit of happiness

After relief of stress and pain —

That was all the first health benefit

Of thinking about baby animals.

1. Baby Animals

2. Mini Golf Mini Pencil

3. Christmas Lights

4. Futuristic Tennishoes

5. Warm Beds

6. That Second Drink

7. Leftover Pizza

8. Hawaiian Punch

9. Moss Beds

10. Connecting with a Baseball with a Crack

11. Regional dishes

12. Watercolors

13. Sequins

14. Silly bets

15. Monkeys

16. People Delighted to See You

17. Stuffed Animals

18. Finger Paints

[ pause ]

The second health benefit of happiness —

The third effect overall

Is that

Is that persons characterized by positive moods and emotions are more likely

To recover

From sickness or injury.

[ beat ]

This argument and conclusion

Comes from my consultations with many doctors.

They all say that positivity is most important general prognostic

Indicator of recovery – that they can tell almost as to a certainty

Whether a patient will make a stronger or a weaker recovery from

The positivity or negativity of their outlook.

They say they can tell

Who will recover

Soon as they come in the door.

Because

Happiness heals.

[ the author pauses three beats ]

So, what do we do with this information ?

[ pause ]

Is there someone out there in the audience

In need of healing?

Is there someone you would like to heal ?

Try and make them happy,

Because happiness heals –

Happiness heals,

And laughter is the best medicine.

[ the author pauses ]

Try it — test it — right now,

Think of your best vacation — the best moments in it

And begin

To heal

Yourself.

[ the author pauses three beats ]

I.

FIRST SIDEBAR NOTE :

EACH OF THE EIGHTEEN IS SUFFICIENT

Notice that the third reason, recovery,

And the second reason, the relief of pain,

Is, like happiness itself,

Reason enough

To pursue happiness.

[ beat ]

And as we work down the list,

You will notice

That each

Of the eighteen effects of happiness

Is an independent and independently sufficient argument

To make happiness your goal.

[ the author pauses ]

Now

The reason listing eighteen sufficient reasons

Isn’t eighteen times redundant

Is that different of the eighteen reasons

Will speak directly to the present needs

Of different people,

In different circumstances.

One person wants to have a good time right now,

A second needs pain relief,

A third needs healing,

And so on

To the eighteenth situation and person.

[ beat ]

Hopefully, by the eighteenth,

I will have argued the pursuit of happiness

To all people

In all situations.

[ beat ]

That is why

Even after two sufficient arguments

After happiness for its own sake

We continue the list

For the very same reason we started the paper.

[ the author pauses ]

1. Cowboy Yodeling

2. Toy Sailboat

3. Hidden Candy

4. Winter soup

5. Fall leaves

6. Summer Lightening

7. Bell Collars on Cats

8. Sailing

9. Taking a Nap in Sun Beam

10. 31 Flavors

11. Taking a Sunday Petal

12. Bubblegum

13. Mementos from Trips

14. Flower Shows

15. Unboxing

16. BBQ Potato Chips

17. French Toast

18. Golden Retrievers

Now,

The fourth.

The fourth effect and practical use

Of happiness,

Is that it reduces the chances that you will get sick

In the first place.

That’s right.

Statistically,

People that are characterized by happy moods and emotions

Happy people

Are less likely

To get sick,

Less likely

To get injured,

Less likely

To be permanently disabled.

[ pause ]

Imagine a list — a very long list

Of all of the diseases and injuries that exist –

All of the thousands of ways that our bodies can go wrong.

One at a time,

As I speak,

Let them flash through your mind.

[ beat ]

For each of us there are percentile likelihoods attached to each of the diseases and injuries

On that list,

Ranging from one to one hundred percent likely.

[ beat ]

Its just a fact.

But let me introduce a second fact  –

When you are happy

All your chances of disease are reduced toward zero.

[ the author pauses ]

Right now  –

Think about the last time you went swimming in clear sunlit water –

Remember your delight

And reduce the chances that you will get sick or injured – ever again !

Because

Happiness protects your health.

[