Chryme and Punishment

By Phil Maund

A third collection of slightly loony, funny poems to relish and enjoy. From "Mumbo the Jumbo" whose memory is not what you'd expect through to "The Adventures of Prince Charming (Part 1)" these rhymes will excite young minds whatever age they are. Learn why the Quagga really went extinct, why the butterfly was nervous, and why Fudgie the budgie's weight fluctuates.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Phil Maund
• Release date: Sep 29, 2017
• ISBN: 9781540124227

Phil Maund

Born near Blackpool, England, in the golden age of radio comedy, Phil Maund became an avid lover of off-the-wall humour at a very young age. When he was twelve years old he had a poem banned from a public grammar school reading for being politically incorrect, but he didn’t let that devastating snub deter him. At age fourteen he was dragged kicking and screaming to South Africa, a country which he now loves and which is still run by off-the-wall politicians. Phil is married to Lynne and has two stepsons, Matthew and Joshua. He has a degree in civil engineering from the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg and a licentiate in theology from the Kalk Bay Bible Institute in Cape Town. Phil loves nothing more than making people laugh, a pastime which drives his family crazy, but to which he is, nonetheless, dedicated.

Book preview

Crhyme and Punishment

by

Phil Maund

Text copyright © Philip John Maund 2015

Illustrations © Donovan Morling 2015

All Rights Reserved

To Matthew and Joshua

About the Author

Born near Blackpool, England, in the golden age of radio comedy, Phil Maund became an avid lover of off-the-wall humour at a very young age. When he was twelve years old he had a poem banned from a public grammar school reading for being politically incorrect, but he didn’t let that devastating snub deter him. At age fourteen he was dragged kicking and screaming to South Africa, a country which he now loves and which is still run by off-the-wall politicians.

Phil is married to Lynne and has two stepsons, Matthew and Joshua. He has a degree in civil engineering from the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg and a licentiate in theology from the Kalk Bay Bible Institute in Cape Town.

Phil loves nothing more than making people laugh, a pastime which drives his family crazy, but to which he is, nonetheless, dedicated (hence the chip on his shoulder – it’s a computer cpu).

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Mumbo the Jumbo

I Fed My Pig

The Royal Carpenter’s Plight

Little Red Riding Hood in Review

Van de Graaf Is Dead

The Witch Did Itch

The Baby Bees

The Nervous Butterfly

Alison the Aligatress

Penny the Penguin

The Panda Was Bamboozled

Timber!

The Spiders Formed a Handball Team

The Envelope from Jail

One weird wallaby

Her Darling Ex-Husband

Away in the Desert

Lou Minnus’ Bright Idea

Chris the Crustacean

Lee, the Shy Leopard

I Know I’m Too Impatient

Graham Grape

A Spirit in the Henhouse

Wordsworth the Earthworm

Jock the Croc

The Platypus Appears Confused

Chuckling Charlie the Cheetah

The Dentist and the Podiatrist

Airy the Fairy

Beth Banana Lost Her Court Case

Mitten the Kitten

The Little Blind Mole

The Publisher Wished it Were Sunday

Fudgie the Budgie (Part I)

Rex and Ann