Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch: Elias Zapple Rhymes, #1

By Elias Zapple

American-English Edition 

Inside this book you will find, 
Funny nonsense from my mind. 
Zany rhymes and slimy tales, 
Creepy crawlies leaving bloody trails. 
And a clever slug that shocks, 
Tales about Cinders and Goldilocks. 
Cabbages, slugs and Elias Zapple, 
What rhymes with Zapple apart from apple? 
Fun and craziness! (You'll have a good time), 
There's even some that do not rhyme! 
Read the book, there's so much more, 
Or my slugs and I will go to war! 
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Heads or Tales Press
• Release date: Feb 28, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386258636

Elias Zapple

Elias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip, and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love, be a Stranger', which was an international flop. After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep, when he was inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias, that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again.  Later, he travelled back in time to the present, and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and listened to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things: i) the earth is flat; and ii) you should never eat a banana when it's not ripe. Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swum off into the sunset; having only once been bitten by an unfriendly shark. Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea, and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes you all to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.

Book preview

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