Gem

Chinese water torture, I thought as I had to look at yet another set of cellphone photographs. Those friggen overseas tours. Look, look, here we are on St. Peter’s Basilica Square in Venice having a pizza, and here we are on the boat to the Isle of Capri. But even worse are the tannies with the pictures of their grandchildren. At least in the old days you were invited and had some time to conjure up an excuse why you were unable to make Saturday evening’s slide show of their tour through the Kruger.

I don’t know how Facebook, YouTube, Twitter or any of those modern social media stuff works. At least I am spared the schlep of wading through the private lives of people I have no interest in. A friend of mine, after trying Facebook for a while, said: “I scrapped my Facebook profile when I realised I was leading a virtual life. I was watching other people’s lives and forgot to live my own. When I am old,” Kabous said, “I want to be the one that tells the stories, I don’t want to be the one listening to other people’s stories.” I like that.

So, if you don’t want to