Out of the Frying Pun

By Phil Maund

A second collection of zany and very funny poems to enchant readers of all ages. From the love at first sight story of "Humbug the Hippo" to the unusual romance of "Peter the Peacock" you will be thoroughly entertained. Discover the secret of Woody the Woodpecker's success, why "The Real Three Little Piggies" are not happy, what the cannibals are cooking up and who The Greatest Golfer in the world is.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Phil Maund
• Release date: Sep 29, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386789611

Phil Maund

Born near Blackpool, England, in the golden age of radio comedy, Phil Maund became an avid lover of off-the-wall humour at a very young age. When he was twelve years old he had a poem banned from a public grammar school reading for being politically incorrect, but he didn’t let that devastating snub deter him. At age fourteen he was dragged kicking and screaming to South Africa, a country which he now loves and which is still run by off-the-wall politicians. Phil is married to Lynne and has two stepsons, Matthew and Joshua. He has a degree in civil engineering from the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg and a licentiate in theology from the Kalk Bay Bible Institute in Cape Town. Phil loves nothing more than making people laugh, a pastime which drives his family crazy, but to which he is, nonetheless, dedicated.

Book preview

Out Of The Frying Pun

by

Phil Maund

Text copyright © Philip John Maund 2015

Illustrations © Donovan Morling 2015

All Rights Reserved

To my wonderful family who love and support me despite my craziness

About the Author

Born near Blackpool, England, in the golden age of radio comedy, Phil Maund became an avid lover of off-the-wall humour at a very young age. When he was twelve years old he had a poem banned from a public grammar school reading for being politically incorrect, but he didn’t let that devastating snub deter him. At age fourteen he was dragged kicking and screaming to South Africa, a country which he now loves and which is still run by off-the-wall politicians.

Phil is married to Lynne and has two stepsons, Matthew and Joshua. He has a degree in civil engineering from the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg and a licentiate in theology from the Kalk Bay Bible Institute in Cape Town.

Phil loves nothing more than making people laugh, a pastime which drives his family crazy, but to which he is, nonetheless, dedicated (hence the chip on his shoulder – it’s a computer cpu).

Table of Contents

Humbug the Hippo

The Cannibals are Cooking (Part I)

The Ugly Duckling Blonde

Sir Robin and His Navel

If I Were Ogden Nash

Lena the Hyena

The Yeast Bragged

Triangle the parrot

In a Roman Jail

I Dated One Summer a Lady Named Susan

The Cannibals are Cooking (Part II)

Yabadoo the Marabou

My Leg Wrote Letters

The Young Man Who Lost his Teeth

Ida the Spider

Madeleina’s boy grew veggies

There’s No Equine Divorces

I’ll Strike with Sodium Chloride

Woody the Woodpecker

An Infant Kangaroo

Elana Banana Was Rotting in Jail

Jill the Jolly Jellyfish

Sparrow Hood

Doug the Slug

The Cannibals’ Piano

The Corniest

I Came Across an Angry Snake

The Lenses in the Dock

Cleaver