The Irish Kleptomaniac and other Gems

By Donald Montgomery

The Irish Kleptomaniac and Other Gems is a collection of mostly humorous verse in the comic tradition of Edward Leer and Pam Ayres.

It also includes a classic account of a Third Round FA Cup Tie, and a celebration of the wonders of the famous Glasgow museum, The Burrell Collection.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Next Chapter
• Release date: Dec 7, 2022

Book preview

THE ARTIST

A French impressionist painter

Well known to folks everywhere

Hated going to the lavatory

Because he had to climb up the stair.

His legs were too short for his body

And on each trip he kept risking his neck.

So he built another lavatory downstairs

And that’s why they called him Two-Loos Lautrec.

THE DISILLUSIONED MP

An outstanding Member of Parliament,

Known as Bill to friend and foe,

Was utterly devastated

When his nymphomaniac girlfriend

Gave him the old heave-ho.

His chums rallied round to console him,

they said; ‘It’s sad but still,

she was only interested in your private members