I Don’t Want to Walk Again

By Bongathini Mbatha

Bongathini Mbatha became disabled when he was a student and his disability nearly ruined his life plans. After his disability, he followed a different career path but later assessed his life and discovered he was not happy about not reaching his initial goal. This marked a turning point in his life.
In I Don’t Want to Walk Again, he talks openly about changing his attitude towards disability, accepting disability and ultimately defeating disability. He uses his life story to reveal some problems that people face every day. He talks about issues such as:
Accepting your condition and moving on
Rediscovering yourself and planning anew
Studying, job hunting and associated challenges
Determination, resignation from work and the fear of adversities
Perceptions about people with disabilities
Bongathini’s aim is to encourage an open conversation about disability and to raise awareness about things that negatively affect people’s lives. He also uses his sad story to bring hope to all those who might be thinking that their burden is the heaviest. This book is not limited to the daily problems of people with disabilities but deals with the whole spectrum of life’s challenges.
If you aspire to be a better person, regardless of your circumstances and regardless of the environment you are in, this book is for you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bongathini Mbatha
• Release date: Apr 7, 2017
• ISBN: 9780620749336

Bongathini Mbatha

Bongathini Mbatha became disabled when he was a student and his disability nearly ruined his life plans. After his disability, he followed a different career path but later assessed his life and discovered he was not happy about not reaching his initial goal. This marked a turning point in his life. In I Don’t Want to Walk Again, he talks openly about changing his attitude towards disability, accepting disability and ultimately defeating disability. He uses his life story to reveal some problems that people face every day. He talks about issues such as: Accepting your condition and moving on Rediscovering yourself and planning anew Studying, job hunting and associated challenges Determination, resignation from work and the fear of adversities Perceptions about people with disabilities Bongathini’s aim is to encourage an open conversation about disability and to raise awareness about things that negatively affect people’s lives. He also uses his sad story to bring hope to all those who might be thinking that their burden is the heaviest. Bongathini holds a National Diploma and a BTech degree in Information Technology. He is currently at the final stages of his Master's degree in Information Technology.

Book preview

I Don’t Want to Walk Again

I Don’t Want to Walk Again

Bongathini Mbatha

Copyright © 2017 Bongathini Wiseman Mbatha

Published by Bongathini Wiseman Mbatha Publishing at Smashwords

First edition 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system without permission from the copyright holder.

The Author has made every effort to trace and acknowledge sources/resources/individuals. In the event that any images/information have been incorrectly attributed or credited, the Author will be pleased to rectify these omissions at the earliest opportunity.

Published by Author using Reach Publishers’ services,

P O Box 1384, Wandsbeck, South Africa, 3631

Printed and bound by Novus Print Solutions

Edited by Susan van Tonder for Reach Publishers

Cover designed by Reach Publishers

Website: www.reachpublishers.co.za

E-mail: [e-mail]

Contents

Dedication

Preface

I Don’t Want To Walk Again…

Humble Beginnings

Learning From The Best…

School Years…

My Last Strides

The Beginning…Without An End…

Healing…

Defeating Disability

Starting From Scratch…

A Journey Of Self-Discovery

Abnormal Normal Life…

Assessing My Life…

Calling It Quits…

Studying Again

Financing My Education…

Bad Service…

A Victim Of Crime…

The Final-Year Project…

Job Hunting

Climbing The Mountain…

My Small Business…

Getting A Job…

The Attitude…

Personal Progression And Related Concerns…

Moving To Pretoria

My First Job In Pretoria…

Getting Married

My Loss

Last Chapter Of This Book,

A New Chapter Of My Life

Epilogue: Lessons Learnt

Acknowledgements

Dedication

I dedicate this book to all people living with disabilities, and to my friends and family.

Preface

Many curious and brave people have asked me: Why are you in a wheelchair? Difficult as it may be, depending on the situation and convenience, I have always tried to give them an honest response. It can be very difficult for most people to approach a person with a disability and ask them, What happened to you? Hence I am saying that brave people ask this question cautiously. Kids are the bravest. One day I was wheeling around a shopping centre when a kid shouted, Mom, here is a person in a wheelchair. He looked very excited about seeing a wheelchair with his own eyes. Everybody stared at me and I pretended as if I did not hear him at all. His mother tried to close his mouth with her hand out of awkwardness. I smiled at her and winked my one eye to indicate: It’s okay.

Sadly, at some point in my life, I came back home in a wheelchair. My friends, with whom I had grown up and played as a kid, did not have the courage to ask me what had happened and how it had happened. This was possibly because they did not want to remind me of the terrible experience they imagined I had gone through. They definitely knew something must have gone wrong. I was walking the last time we were together and this should certainly bother one’s friends. However, true friends don’t care much about how and why it happened; all they want to do is to support their friend. They wouldn’t ask you, But why did you do it? What landed you in this situation in the first place?

There is a need to start talking about disability openly. People should not feel uncomfortable about discussing disability in the presence of people with disabilities. As it is, most people do not talk about disability when I am around, or even offer to help, thinking that I will feel offended. Often I decline people’s help if I do not need it but it has nothing to do with my being ashamed of my disability. I like doing things for myself and I enjoy being independent. People should be free to ask about anything, including disability, and if a person with a disability is not willing to engage in such a discussion they have to be excused. Unfortunately, people have to understand the situation before they can help and the only way for them to gain this understanding is to obtain information from the people in that situation.

The aim of this book is to raise awareness about things that negatively affect our lives as individuals and, most importantly, to bring hope to all those who might be thinking that their burden is the heaviest. My intention is to share my life story in an honest manner that might assist others who have had the same experiences as I have. The book also aims to reveal some problems that people living with disabilities face every day and to share my day-to-day experiences, which might relate to other human beings regardless of their ability or disability. Therefore this book is not limited to the daily problems of people with disabilities but deals with the whole spectrum of life’s challenges, considering that people with disabilities are also part of society. In addition, the book highlights extra challenges that people with disabilities face in their lives.

I acknowledge that this book may not address all challenges, as disabilities vary; however, there are shared challenges across disabilities. It is hoped that this book will also bring awareness to employers, colleagues, friends and families of people with disabilities about the challenges people with disabilities face in relation to poverty, unemployment and discrimination in workplaces and elsewhere. This book is intended not only to assist people with disabilities, but also to create a sense of understanding and bring hope to many individuals who have different problems and barriers to success, with the understanding that even less fortunate people – people who might not be able to walk, speak, see, touch, feel or smell – can set themselves seemingly impossible goals and achieve them. It seeks to talk about my personal problems but it merely uses them as examples of problems that ordinary people face every day. Any person who has a dream can use this book to draw some strength and encouragement from it. Any person facing challenges can relate to this book. This book is for everybody.

Inspirational books, including autobiographies, are often written by people who have had a difficult life in the beginning but at the end they become successful in ways unimaginable. This book is not about my success as such, but is more about my attempts to make my situation work. I have an ultimate goal that I haven’t yet reached – there is still a long way ahead. This is why I believe that this book will make more sense to people who are trying to find themselves, people who are working hard to make life work for themselves rather than people who think they have already achieved all that they want in life. Those people may as well consider taking a cruise around the world.

It is not always about the credentials that a person has. Rather, it is about the drive and passion that the person has, the acknowledgement of his weaknesses and the ability to capitalise on his strengths. The fear that people bring into our lives, the intimidation that we face everywhere we go and the negative comments that we receive are just hurdles that we need to face with courage. Turning the negatives into positives and building self-esteem are two of the key elements to success. Let us prove not only to other people but to ourselves also that we can do what everybody else can and even more. Let us challenge all systems that seek to undermine our abilities. Let us study if we can and put double the effort into any venture that we pursue to make up for our disabilities.

I have personally realised that some people have a certain degree of disability but the extent cannot be easily measured. There are people who cannot get anything right and that could be associated with their having difficulties in understanding instructions that seem to be simple, leading them to poor performances at school or at work. Such people can be assisted to deal with these weaknesses provided that society is patient and considerate. These and other things make me realise that being disabled is not as bad as some people perceive it to be. I cannot walk but, if nothing else, I can follow simple instructions and can in fact write exams and pass with flying colours – I can learn and become a champion in any given environment. The fact that I am disabled and am writing this book is evidence of the fact that I am actually able. It would then be more appropriate to use this book to celebrate our immediate successes than to cry over spilt milk – the what ifs will never bring back what we have already lost.

It is worth mentioning once again that this book is not about a successful individual; it is about a person who is working toward attaining his goals, an ambitious person who has embarked on a journey without a distinct destination. It is about my journey and about my ability to adapt to disability and my continuous drive for success. I know what I want to become; I know what I want to achieve. I am not certain of the day or place but I enjoy seeing myself as a winner day after day, which is what brings fulfilment to me. My continuous achievements will not mean that I have exhausted all my challenges but will push me to set myself higher goals continuously and keep going.

My story relates to many South Africans and people of the world who have dreams that could have been shattered had there not been support from family and friends. It relates to individuals who could have given up their dreams had there not been good support systems. It seeks to explain that no one specific situation is the worst. I would like to tell my fellow people with disabilities that there is hope after disability as long as they are willing to learn about their specific conditions and use whatever resources are available to make life worth living.

I have tried not to use people’s names in this book because the incidents I describe are real and some people might be offended. However, I will unfortunately have to tell the world about everything I have encountered at school, at tertiary institutions, at work, at social events and elsewhere. I would like to apologise in advance to those who might think some of the episodes refer to them. I am so sorry – I just have to share my frank life story with others.

1

I DON’T WANT TO WALK AGAIN…

I was walking until I was 21 years old, which gave me ample time to understand how it is to be able to walk. Now that I cannot walk at all, I have more experience as a person who cannot walk; I have even forgotten how it really feels to walk. There are frustrating times when I wish I could stand up and walk just for that moment, particularly when I am alone in the house and cannot reach a cup or something on top of a shelf or from my cabinet. When this happens I normally jump from my wheelchair and sit on top of the table or anything higher to elevate myself. At times, I may still not be able to reach the thing I need and get more frustrated but I usually keep calm and think of an alternative plan. A broomstick comes in handy when I have to push an item high up in the cabinet towards me and catch it before it falls. I have become quite good at estimating the distance I can reach after climbing upon piece of furniture like a cupboard. Usually, after getting what I wanted, I console myself by saying, Walking is not everything after all.

One evening I came home very hungry and needed to fix myself a snack. I did my normal jumping on to the bottom cabinet to get some ingredients from the top cupboard, but unfortunately I slid and fell. I felt so embarrassed because there were people in another room; I got up, switched off the stove and went straight to bed. I forgot that I was actually hungry. I sustained a gash just below my eye and the pain was unbearable. It felt as though I was