Letting go of the Need to Control: Hazelden Classics for Clients
By Ann M.
4.5/5
()
About this ebook
Control issues are common among those of us who are chemically dependent. This pamphlet provides constructive methods to let go of self-defeating behaviors.
Related to Letting go of the Need to Control
Related ebooks
The Healthy Relationship Toolbox: How to Stop Being Codependent and Start Creating Happiness in Your Relationships Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWorthy of Love: Meditations on Loving Ourselves and Others Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Gifts of Sobriety: When the Promises of Recovery Come True Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Three Simple Rules: Uncomplicating Life in Recovery Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWe Recovered Too: The Family Groups' Beginnings in the Pioneers' Own Words Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWalk in Dry Places Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Fourth Step Guide Journey Into Growth: Hazelden Classics for Clients Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5A Program For You: A Guide To the Big Book's Design for Living Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Woman's Spirit: More Meditations for Women Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Courage To Change: The Christian Roots of the Twelve-Step Movement Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery: Avoiding Relapse through Self-Awareness and Right Action Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Forming True Partnerships: How AA members use the program to improve relationships Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSecond Year Sobriety: Getting Comfortable Now That Everything Is Different Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Help for Helpers: Daily Meditations for Counselors Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnderstanding the Twelve Steps Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Gods of Our Misunderstanding in A.A.: Not Just for Atheists & Agnosticj Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKeep It Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sought Through Prayer and Meditation: Wisdom from the Sunday 11th Step Meetings at the Wolfe Street Center in Little Rock Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWomen & Recovery: Sex, Sobriety, & Stepping Up: Practical Suggestions for Quality Living in Recovery Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNight Light: A Book of Nighttime Meditations Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Spiritual Awakenings II: More Journeys of the Spirit Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStep Up: Unpacking Steps 1-3 with Someone Who's Been There Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Essence of Twelve Step Recovery: Take It to Heart Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles: Living the Values Behind the Steps Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe 12 Step Prayer Book: A Collection of Inspirational Daily Readings Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLearning to Begin Again:: Daily Reflections on Recovering and Renewal Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMonkey On My Shoulder Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Higher Power of the Twelve-Step Program: For Believers & Non-Believers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIn God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Self-Improvement For You
A Stolen Life: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is The Beginning & End Of Suffering Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Four Loves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Think and Grow Rich (Illustrated Edition): With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wild at Heart Expanded Edition: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How May I Serve Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Mastery of Self: A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Chop Wood Carry Water: How to Fall In Love With the Process of Becoming Great Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: Creating a Marriage That's Both Holy and Hot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Less Fret, More Faith: An 11-Week Action Plan to Overcome Anxiety Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Organizing for the Rest of Us: 100 Realistic Strategies to Keep Any House Under Control Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5You're Not Dying You're Just Waking Up Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Letting go of the Need to Control
4 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Letting go of the Need to Control - Ann M.
INTRODUCTION
I grew up feeling powerless. I felt powerless in a family under the controlling influence of one person’s alcoholism and powerless as a woman in a society that values meekness in women. But I am not a powerless person. It’s just that my family and my society did not teach me what to do with my power. My feelings of powerlessness led me to try to control the behavior of others. I spent a lot of time feeling confused—what I wanted to do didn’t match what I was taught I could do. I often got in trouble when I did what felt right, so I learned how to avoid trouble by doing what others wanted me to do.
When I began using a Twelve Step program, I heard a lot of talk about people using behavior to control others. They all seemed to know what this controlling behavior was, and they all seemed to agree there was something wrong with it. At first I didn’t understand. When I finally understood, I got mad.
I felt accused of doing something awful. It made me angry. I had been taught to seem powerless, had learned ways to appease my craving for love, attention, and recognition in indirect ways because it wasn’t acceptable to want those things, much less ask openly for them. But I was now being told it was my own sick, controlling behavior that made others miserable and kept me from feeling close to them. Something inside me screamed, Not fair! Not fair! How could anyone judge what I should be like? They weren’t me.
It took me a long time to realize that to be controlling was just ineffective. It was keeping me from feeling close to others, and I was tired of feeling responsible for everyone and everything. Maybe