Self Confidence: The perfect training to increase the CONFIDENCE in YOURSELF

By Luca Stanchieri

SELF-CONFIDENCE: A Training Course in Success, to transform your insecurity into CONFIDENCE in Yourself!
Self-Confidence is a journey in stages to liberate us from our sense of lack of personal potency, and to govern the emotional wounds that have influenced us.
Carefully follow Luca Stanchieri's suggestions, and your qualities will be finally recognized, expressed, and realized. Your talents and potential, if they are well-trained, become capable of changing your reality.
With a balanced and targeted preparation, it will be easy to transform work and love into to precious opportunities for self-realization. You will also learn to perceive a new and life-changing feeling: that of bettering yourself every day, because finally, you're on the right track.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hashtag Zero
• Release date: Sep 24, 2016
• ISBN: 9788899804022

Book preview

Credits

SELF-CONFIDENCE

The perfect training to increase the confidence in your self!

written by

Luca Stanchieri

translated by

Clive Riche

cover by

Massimiliano D’Affronto

published by

Hashtag Zero Srls, Rome (Italy)

ISBN: 9788899804022

© 2015 Hashtagzero Srls

All rights reserved

www.hashtagzero.it

[e-mail]

Introduction

Chapter 1

FROM THE ORIGIN OF INSECURITY

Section 1

Expectations

Giovanna is a young woman of 30 years and is pregnant. A pregnancy that she had neither chosen not planned for. After a brief period of disorientation, she decided to keep the baby, and is happy about that. Giovanna had a very troubled youth. After finishing school, she left university and was surrounded by friends and connections which were in conflict with her mother’s wishes. Her father, separated from the mother for some time, has always been close but more as a friend, than as a guide. She ventured then into the world of discotheques, footballers, strip-clubs, and betting halls.

A world of easy money, immediate pleasures, multitudes of famous or dangerous connections. An underworld city, where marginalization and sporting fame meet in a world of fantasy, far from the limelight. At that time, her meaning in life was enjoyment, excitement, and engage in social life made up of relationships, betrayals, possessive and desperate love-affairs.

Happiness resided in fragile and powerful, and strange friendships with the wealthy, where life took place at night, and you woke up in the late afternoon. Friendships to cultivate, defend, resolve. Hers was a strange sense of belonging to a special world, out of the normal, where the game of chance, with its swirling roller coaster was the main antidote to boredom and routine. She never gambled, but her friends did, and she lived the excitement and desperation as if it where her own, rejoicing when things went well, and assisting and consoling when disasters occurred, dissociating from those who wanted her to tame her lifestyle.

Her mother, who had always been closet o her, lived in a dimension of anguish, desperation, anger. She was not able to understand the reason behind her daughter’s choices, and she took refuge in pathology. She tried to derive a name to her daughter’s behavior, from the online manual of personality disturbance. She was always at her side, but never failed to make her feel the hell and anguish which her errant life-style, without purpose, full of risk and stupidity, was creating for her.

When Giovanna’s best friend decided to have a child, after having roamed for years amid disco bars, and shopping, even her life changed. Maybe she was tired. Maybe she felt drained. And so Giovanna started studying again, with seriousness, and diligence, obtaining excellent grades, entering a new environment, without ever abandoning or betraying her old friendships, but distancing herself one step every day.

She moved house, re-established relations with her mother, found a new boyfriend, and reorganized her days around her study and going for walks with her dog. She started a new life. She understood how good she was at studying, and her excellence and professional seriousness was noted in her training, where she found confirmation among colleagues and teachers of her interpersonal skills.

Her mother lived this change with joy, and supported her organizationally, serving as secretary in all bureaucratic matters , while Giovanna dedicated body and soul to her studies. When she discovered she was pregnant, she decided to continue the pregnancy, communicating this decision to her mother in an SMS. Once again, her life project had no forseeable and predictable future path. Her boyfriend, that she’d known and frequented for a few months, took her decision well, and decided to share this event with Giovanna, which would change both their lives forever.

And the mother? Puzzled, confused, sad, helpless, annoyed, as if her daughter run over a pedestrian, while driving intoxicated. She returned to the same state of anguish as before. They argued as never before, always by SMS. The mother maintaining a demeanor which made no bones about her opposition to the choice. Giovanna hurled back unspeakable phrases, with a desperate and angry violence. Giovanna would have wanted a mother who stood by her and helped her in this extraordinary decision, who would have supported her, while she continued to study, so that her pregnancy and giving birth could coincide with the conclusion of University. She would have liked her to be joyous and playful, like a safe haven, ready to enjoy, to protect and encourage.

The mother would have liked Giovanna to be studious, diligent, focused on her degree, and then on her professional achievement, finally able to handle life and gain her independence, without dangerous deviations.

When their two visions crossed, there was created a furious quarrel, where Giovanna struck and her mother took the blows, as always, without one or the other knowing how to change their positions. And as in every war which doesn’t produce ruptures between one battle and the other, there is a sort of truce. The mother continued to be an organizational secretary for her daughter’s studies, while she was preparing for her exams and her thesis.

Five months into her pregnancy, and Giovanna had not said anything to her father.

Giovanna had taken a path of profound change, even if apparently repentant, in reality lived with intensity in each moment. Her existential change was radical. From one life, where clothes, food, make-up, and worldliness represented the sense and purpose of conception of hedonistic happiness, immediate, exciting, gratifying immediately and superficially, to a life based on a project, a purpose which required constant effort, concentration, deferred gratification, and a reconstruction of identity, to serve the well-being of others (her degree was in the Professional Health Sector).

A new phase in her life which had brought her to conceive the real possibility of having a child, assuming responsibility, raising the child to be happy. In the future she would have had a job she loved and a child she adored, and certainly a growth of maturity which she had already demonstrated that she was able to deal with.

The mother never changed her behavior. She had always been called upon, seeking to help her, often to come to her aid, always protecting her. She had hoped for a change in her, but when Giovanna communicated her pregnancy, just when she seemed to have embarked on the right path, her world crumbled around her.

In these two lives we see decisions, behaviors, actions which hide, and produce sense and significant. But above all, a relationship where the two women judge each other on the basis of an ideal model, in which neither belongs. A model which produces expectations and then disappointments, and thus conflicts.

There is, moreover a matter which remains in the background. Giovanna had not yet said anything to her father. It is probable that she was afraid of the reactions of a man she deeply loved, and who would be shocked, because he still saw her as a child, or not mature, or ready. Giovanna felt insecure. Not to the point of not giving birth, but to the point of not saying anything to her father. She was frightened of facing him. She was afraid of disappointing him.

But where does a way of thinking that sees in another a prototype of expectations that punctually disappoint, arise from, gene rating violent relationships even though they are based on feelings of love? From where does our insecurity arise? That insecurity which makes us feel fragile, vulnerable, undecided and vacillating, even when one is convinced in taking one road instead of another? It was born in the head of an engineer, who became more famous than he expected…

Section 2

The origins of deviation from the model

A century ago, an engineer, Taylor, and an entrepreneur, Ford, invented an organizational model that was called Scientific Management, and applied this to the manufacture of automobiles. They had a revolutionary concept of the company and productive mechanism, so much so as to merit the praise of Lenin, their arch enemy.

The idea is that a manager, should be able to elaborate an organizational rational model, capable of increasing productivity, eliminating waste, measure the commitment of each individual production employee with the aim at maximizing profits. The final product, ready for sale, was the result of a series of combined actions which were to agree with pre-established standards.

The roles of a company were to be essentially three: the scientists/managers, creators of the production process, the executors/workers, who put this into practice, the controllers who were to verify that the production was in line with the established norm. In that period, there was not forseen a fourth figure that would break upon the scene tens of years after, the customer.

Ford produced for twenty years, always the same machine, in the same color, constructing a real and true industrial empire.

The Taylorist model was revolutionary because it sought to insert elements of organizational rationality into the chaos generated by the conflict between foremen and workers.

To increase productivity and reduce costs, the whip (always) and the carrot (almost never) was no longer sufficient. In those times, the selection of the workers was done by throwing apples outside the gates, the Mafia was used to repress strikes, the foremen were corrupt, there were no pre-established working hours. The model claimed to provide certain