The Power of Confidence

By Ann Bowditch

Use Ann’s tips to live confidently. Following on from The Energy of Anxiety, Therapist, Ann Bowditch has produced another relatable and honest book. This book provides a plethora of information and useful tips. Ann helps you get to grips with the workings of the mind and put your natural skills to good use. Easy to understand and packed full of interesting information. Ann has a unique way of putting her knowledge out in the world.

The Power of Confidence explores:

•Understand your own belief system and how it relates to confidence;

•Use simple skills for lasting changes;

•Gain social confidence with simple techniques;

•New perspectives to living life confidently;

•Using Emotional Freedom Technique for positive change.

If you want to build confidence through knowledge and simple techniques, this is the book for you!
Testimonial

“Ann’s use of personal experiences makes everything much more real, easy to relate to and understandable.

The book really helps you to understand why you are lacking confidence. Once you understand why something happens, wanting to help yourself becomes a higher priority. Ann's ability to put this across in a book is immense.

Ann's use of language and the ability to explain things is excellent and her use of humour really adds to the book. The exercises and techniques are excellent, easy to complete and relatable to every day life. Visualisation exercises, tapping and vision boards, Ann's way of engaging the reader is brilliant and really gives you the energy to want to be a more confident person.

A thoroughly enjoyable read. Thank you Ann!”

Tara

About The Author
Ann Bowditch runs her own therapy business. She is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Practitioner of many other therapies. Having spent decades competing in sport, Ann knows all too well how important confidence is. Ann’s aim is always to empower the listener. She wants you to understand yourself better and in doing so guide you to the success you desire. Ann is 100% on your side and believes in you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ann Bowditch
• Release date: Feb 20, 2021
• ISBN: 9781916075818

Ann Bowditch

Modern Day Therapist and Author of The Energy of Anxiety. I enjoy helping people overcome their issues, struggles and problems. I use techniques such as Hypnotherapy, Emotional Freedom Technique, Matrix Reimprinting. Good therapy is about understanding each individual. It should never be a box ticking exercise.I am a crazy cat woman.I was a competitive cyclist for 20 years and now do karting. Sport has always been a great passion of mine.I also have a YouTube Account: 'Ann Bowditch Author'. I create videos and podcasts on all types of subjects.Tell me your challenges and I will help.

Book preview

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The Power of Confidence

Ann Bowditch

Orders: To place orders of this book, please visit www.hypnotherapy.gg or e-mail: [e-mail]

ISBN: 978-1-9160758-1-8

Copyright © 2020 by Ann Bowditch. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. Apart from any permitted use under UK copyright law, no part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information, storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, Ann Bowditch, or under license from The Copyright Licensing Agency Limited. Further details of such licenses (for reprographic reproduction) may be obtained from The Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd www.cla.co.uk

First Published: 2020

Cover design by Ken Dawson at Creative Covers

Disclaimer

The ideas and opinions in The Power of Confidence represent those of Ann Bowditch, the author, as of the date of publication. The book is for informational and educational purposes only, to aid and support emotional wellbeing and personal development. The information in this book should not be treated as a substitute for medical advice of physicians. You are advised to take full responsibility for yourself at all times and to seek the support of a qualified emotional health practitioner, doctor, health practitioner or therapist if you have any concerns about your physical health or emotional wellbeing.

If you are suffering from any physical or psychiatric condition, please seek the advice of the appropriately qualified health professional. Any use of information in this book is at the reader’s discretion and risk. The author and publisher cannot be held responsible for any loss, claim, or damage arising from the use, or misuse, of the suggestions made, or the failure to take medical advice.

The information herein may be subject to varying laws, regulations and practices in different areas, states and countries. The purchaser and the reader assume full responsibility for the use of the information. Any perceived slight of specific people or organisations is unintentional.

Any links to other websites are for information only and are not warranted for content, performance, accuracy or any other implied or explicit purpose.

The author and publisher do not assume, and hereby disclaim, any liability to any party for any loss, damage or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident or any other cause by using any of the disclaimers within this book.

Introduction

1. Preface

Lack of confidence is the result of a number of misconceptions about yourself and elements of life. The truth is you are far more capable than you realise, you do not need to be perfect or to achieve perfection. What you tell yourself is vital to enabling confidence.

Throughout this book, I cover many reasons why people are not confident enough and how to address these issues. I explain that your belief system is linked to how you feel about yourself and of course, your confidence. In fact, your belief system is fundamental to how you function in life and how you react to various situations is linked to confidence.

Knowledge is the first step to regaining self-power. Using that knowledge is the next step. There are many tools and techniques within this book which will help you utilise this new knowledge.

The information contained in this book is based on my own life experiences as well as client sessions. The knowledge you are about to access is supported by the amazing people I have met through my work. There are so many who initially fail to recognise just how capable and awesome they are due to lack of confidence.

Along with information to help you better understand yourself, there are various exercises for you to do. These will help create positive changes at a deep level. I have spread these throughout the book. I cannot emphasise enough how important the exercises are to achieving the success you are seeking. Please do allow yourself the time and effort you need so that you can build up your confidence and deservedly release yourself from everything that has been holding you back.

Finally, you may wish to visit my YouTube Channel (Ann Bowditch Author) or author website www.abauthor.com to view supporting guidance

2. About Ann

As three times National Hill Climb Champion and having competed in three Commonwealth Games in the sport of cycling, Ann knows all too well, how important confidence is.

When her practice was opened in 2012, Ann quickly made a name for herself on the island of Guernsey. She has had tremendous success in helping people improve their confidence and in many other areas of self-development. She works with children from as young as four years old and with adults in their nineties. Ann has put her knowledge and experience with clients to good use in this book.

Ann considers herself a modern day therapist. One of her great attributes is helping people understand themselves better in a relatable way. She has great belief in people’s ability to change, as long as they are willing to put in the commitment.

Ann’s work encompasses a wide range of therapies. She has a way of communicating with people that helps them to see new perspectives and can often be life-changing. Ann is a passionate therapist who is prepared to speak truthfully and is recognised for her commitment to her work and clients.

Ann Bowditch GQHP, GHR Reg., META-P

Dip (Hyp) Hypnotherapy

EFT (EFT International Certified)

Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner

Meta-Health Practitioner

Colour Mirrors Practitioner and Teacher

RMTi Consultant, NES Health Practitioner

MBIR Practitioner

SECTION 1

UNDERSTANDING CONFIDENCE

A bit of background to help you understand why you lack confidence and the different aspects of confidence.

3. Perception

Perception is especially important when it comes to confidence. How we perceive events is related to our internal processing system. This is based on events which have happened to us, what we believe, the things people have told us or the way they have behaved towards us. In effect, each person’s perception is unique to them.

You could have two people watch the same film. One person thinks it is the best film ever and the other person thinks it was utter garbage. This is each person’s perception, based on how they internally process the aspects of that very same film. Our perception of life events happens in much the same way.

Our perception can also be based on how we expect an event to go. Sometimes we do better than expected and are ecstatic and other times we are disappointed because we expected to do better. This may be linked to the standards we set for ourselves or how well we perceive we do compared to others. This is all quite normal and part of life.

There are numerous elements to perception. In terms of confidence, here are some that are often relevant:

How others react to you.

Whether you made any ‘mistakes’.

If you performed to your own expectations.

How others treat you.

If anyone made negative or derogatory comments to you.

How you feel you performed compared to others.

How much you enjoyed it.

Whether or not you were praised.

How others looked at you.

Whether you focus more on what went well or what went wrong.

Where you put your focus is going to be most relevant to how well you feel you did. A confident person may put their focus on what went well. They will absorb the positive feedback from others but also give some attention to areas they need to improve. They would accept mistakes or lower performances as feedback but not overly focus on them or be defined by them. I suspect that you spend too much time focusing on the small aspects which have not gone well and not given yourself a more balanced view of your performance. With all your attention concentrating on what did not go so well, you are bound to believe you are not good enough.

People come to me to help them with public speaking confidence. Sometimes they tell me how they see a lot of blank looking faces staring at them. Often when people have blank faces, it is because they are concentrating or ready to listen. I know that my concentration face comes across as appearing confused. I have witnessed those blank looking faces when I have taken workshops or done talks and understand how it can be disconcerting to the speaker.

Experience has taught me that those blank faces are a good sign because the audience or participants are concentrating and focused. This does show how sometimes we can read something as a bad sign when in fact it is absolutely fine. So when you see those blank faces accept that the audience is ready and looking forward to listening to what you have to say.

When I used to race my bicycle in time trial events, my husband would ask me how well I believed I had performed. This was before knowing my result compared to others. Time trial events usually happen with each rider starting their race at one minute intervals, so they usually have no idea how they have performed compared to their competition until the results are gathered. Considering how I felt I had personally performed before knowing all the results was a good method of assessing my own performance.

We do not always have to be the best to do well at something. It can be more important to feel satisfied with your own performance rather than concern yourself with everybody else. The most important thing is to consider how well you have done on your own interpretation of the situation. You can mark areas for improvement in a positive and constructive way.

You may also need to give yourself a break. Ensure you are not being too hard on yourself. This is another trait of people who lack confidence. Are you expecting perfection from yourself? Are you misinterpreting the achievement of others as being greater than they really are? Are you failing to see just how capable you are? If you are, then you are going to set yourself up for disappointment.

Your belief system can set you up for failure. People who lack confidence will often look for the negatives in their performance or behaviour while ignoring the many positives. Step back, and take a wider perspective. Acknowledge to yourself the specific areas where you have done well.

It is also important to consider how much you are letting other people’s behaviour and reaction impact on your perception of how well you have done and therefore on your confidence. People who lack confidence often fear judgement from others.

The hardest thing for me to accept when cycling, came after races where I did not perform at my best. I knew then that people were commenting and some would make disparaging comments to me. At the time I let them impact me but now I feel I would brush them off. This is because those comments say more about their personality, than they do about my performance. Nobody knows what is going on for one person at any given time. We are not going to be at our best every day. People may judge but they do not know what you have been through or are going through. It is therefore important not to be impacted by the judgement of others.

The truth is, if you act with good intent, integrity and from the heart, then if someone has a problem with something you have said or done it is their problem. If your actions have triggered a negative response from someone, then that negative response is based on their own personal beliefs, perceptions and inner operating system. It can only ever be about them. Do not be the keeper of other people’s judgements. Their judgement is theirs for keeps until they decide to address and release it.

When I wrote my first book, The Energy of Anxiety, I had not considered what would make it a success. As long as it was helpful to people, then I felt I had achieved what I had set out to do. Once published people would ask me how well it was selling. The truth was I did not know how many copies I had sold but I had some extremely positive and encouraging feedback from readers.

If I had set out to sell a million copies in the first month, then I would have been disappointed because that certainly did not happen but I was happy because I received great feedback which continued to flow through months later. Based on the responses I received, I knew I had offered something of benefit to anxiety sufferers in a way that was easily digestible and relatable. This was always my aim. I believed I had therefore fulfilled my original goal when I decided to write the book regardless of how many copies I sold.

Who is losing sleep?

The negative thoughts running around in your head, causing you to have disturbed sleep patterns, are not running around in other people’s heads. They have moved on. I have mentioned how you are probably way too hard on yourself.

I can recall my first talk as a therapist. It was in a room of around 200 people. I was standing behind a lectern and shaking all the way through. When I spoke to some people afterwards, they told me how fascinating my talk was. I mentioned that I was shaking, and they said they had not noticed. In fact, they thought I had spoken very well. This goes to show, how different our perception of our own performance can be compared to how others experience it. This is because we tend to focus on what we could or should have done better rather than having a wider perspective and looking at our performance as a whole.

In the past, when I was taking a workshop, for the first minute or so my voice could be a bit wobbly due to nerves but then I would get into the flow and all was fine. Someone who lacks confidence will spend the next week thinking about that first minute and how their voice was wobbly. What must people think? What a disaster it was. Why did that have to happen? It was embarrassing and hideous. These are similar to thoughts which most likely have been running through your mind at times.

They would have ignored the brilliant workshop presented and how much others enjoyed it and just focused on that first minute. They would often see the workshop as a failure or disaster.

The truth is that most people were probably oblivious to the wobble in my voice and, if they had noticed the wobble, it was not a big deal to them. In fact they can most likely connect to the feeling of being nervous in similar situations. It may have made me appear more relatable to them, creating a stronger connection and interest in what I had to say.

It is important, when assessing your own performance, that you are constructive and acknowledge negatives only as feedback and areas to improve for the future, rather than a reflection of your capabilities or the person you are. This is how we progress, by taking the feedback and turning it into a positive.

You can appreciate how perception is so important. It is imperative, when considering your own performance, that you are constructive and view the whole picture, including all the elements which went really well. Your perception of an event should not