Love's Imposter

By Cornelious Jordan

Man's greatest desire is to be loved. Unfortunately for a lot of us when we search for a mate we don't know what to look for. Instead of looking for love, some of us are subconsciously chasing pain. Mine is such a story. Follow me as I peel back the layers and discover what is true.

As a child watching my mother be physically and verbally abused I swore to never treat a woman the way she was treated. Then one night, staring at the broken glass on the floor, and a gash on my girlfriend's forehead made me realize I had continued a cycle. This was considered working through our problems. I knew this was not love. I was determined to fix myself and expose this imposter.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cornelious Jordan
• Release date: Jun 21, 2016
• ISBN: 9781311363565

Cornelious Jordan

Cornelious Jordan began writing poetry as a teen and sometimes writes under the pseudonym Jordan Swope. In college, Cornelious majored in theatre and minored in television production. After College, he worked for ABC news in Louisiana as a cameraman/ editor. The culmination of these things has given his writings a somewhat cinematic feel, often times with a touch of humor. Later in life, Cornelious began taking credit counseling and wealth management courses in Los Angeles. This inspired him to help others, which lead to the publication of his first book. He is also greatly inspired by political and religious debates. He often says, "his passion is to let the world know when people disagree on an issue, it does not mean they are at odds or enemies. It means simply that, they disagree. We all have different backgrounds and experiences. Disagreeing is inevitable." Often times, Cornelious' non-fiction books have a political or "religious" undertone. His fiction, is greatly inspired by sci-fi, horror, music, and action films often times with a love story hidden in the background. You can always expect Cornelious Jordan to put forward "A+ work" and work hard to have a product he can be proud of and for you to be satisfied with. With his multifaceted background and life experiences, expect more from this talented writer.

Book preview

Love's Imposter

by Cornelious Jordan

Copyright 2016 Cornelious Jordan

Smashwords Edition

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter1-My Journey In Love

1a_teen years

1b_3am

Chapter2-Obstacles

2a_be alone

Chapter3-Market Yourself

3a_chivalry is dead

3b_hygiene

Chapter4-Love Or Loins

Chapter5-Resistance

Chapter6-How To Love

6a_to love like God

6b_know when to leave

Chapter7-How To Argue

7a_when words are many

7b_anger or peace

7c_false pride

7d_say what you mean

Chapter8-Be Nice Anyway

Chapter9-Falling Out Of Love

Chapter10-Loss in Sexual Interest

Chapter11-Why We Cheat

11a_men

11b_women

11c_hold your post

Chapter12-SEX

12a_looking backwards

12b_animals are not monogamous

Chapter13-Love's I.C.U.

13a_suffocation

Chapter14-Practice/Preach

Introduction:

As I look around I see all kinds of dating services. New apps and websites are popping up every day. It seems mankind is looking for love. Nowadays, I don’t think the question is can we find love, but what do we do when we find it? I believe most of us can agree that we have loved and lost. Have you ever wondered if there was something you could have done to prevent losing that long lost love? Was it your fault that you lost them? Most importantly, what if you find a new love? Would you do the exact same thing that messed up the last relationship? I have asked myself these very questions. I have felt helpless wondering, Is it me? Am I doing something wrong and if so how do I stop it? I wrote this book for those who are looking for love and don’t know what to look for. I wrote this book for the high school sweethearts who are pondering if they’ve found their soulmate; for those who have found love, yet don’t know how to love. Mostly, I wrote this book for those who have given up and like me are inspired to love again.

After a series of bad relationships I took a long look at my life and I began investigating love: how to give it, how to receive it, and what it is. After learning how to apply these things to my own life, I felt compelled to share my discovery. I was twenty-three when the first draft of this book was complete. Although complete, I always felt something was missing. After many revisions, by the time you reach the end of this letter ten years would have passed. Now that I think about it, it was silly of me to think I could put such a thing on a time table. I have poured my heart into this piece of literature. There are moments in this book that are difficult for me to discuss, however, I promise to be truthful with you. At times you will see me refer to this book as a letter. The reason is I was inspired by the Apostle Paul. Paul wrote letters to places like Ephesus, Corinth and Rome, which we call Ephesians, Corinthians, and Romans. Well, this is my letter. My letter to the world. My love letter to you. Enjoy…

1. My Journey In Love

As children we experience love right out of the womb, from the very first time we are held in our mother’s bosom. Throughout our childhood we learn two types of love, how to love ourselves, and how to love others. We learn this by the love we receive and the love we witness. Unfortunately, some of what we learn will affect us for the rest of our lives, whether; we were abused verbally, sexually, or witnessed this example of love afflicted upon someone else. I can remember my very first memory of love. I was about three or four years old. I lived in Chicago with my parents. They were married, but not when I was conceived, mmm-hmmm. I remember wanting my dad to take me outside to ride my tricycle. My mom and my dad were arguing in the living room. There was a lot of yelling. I spoke up, I wanna go outside! They both yelled something at me that I don't remember. That day I went outside by myself and I fell and scraped my knee. About a year or so later they split up and divorced. I was five; Mom was twenty six and my dad, 32. There was no doubt in my mind that my parents loved me, and I truly believed they loved each other and still do. I just don’t think they knew how to love.

After my parents broke up the odds of love were stacked against me. I lived with my mother while she was dating. We lived in Louisiana. On occasion, my mother, my sister, and I would move in with a boyfriend she had at the time. We witnessed argument, after argument, after argument. Quite often we were sent into the next room. We couldn't help to hear the bumping, screaming, and yelling from the adjacent wall. Once it was over, every fight had a familiar scene. I called it the tornado. It looked like everything we owned was either broken or on the floor; much like the aftermath of, well... a tornado. It was quiet. Always quiet, as if whatever problem they had was now solved.

There was a time, when I was small, my mom was trying to leave her boyfriend. We were packing our clothes to put in my uncle’s truck. My mom had my baby sister in her arms. The boyfriend was drunk, sitting on the porch, and watching us get into the truck. He must have gotten pissed off because she was leaving. He leaped from the porch and clothes-lined my mother while my baby sister was in her arms. She didn’t drop my sister but, my mother fell on the ground and split her lip. I was only a kid, but I picked up the biggest rock I could find, ran towards her boyfriend and I tried to buss his head wide open! Unfortunately, my uncle grabbed me before I could reach him and held me down. I never understood why? Why didn’t my uncle do anything? He just held me and tried to keep me quiet. I’ve always heard from somewhere, don’t get in the middle of a domestic dispute. Maybe that’s what he heard. I guess it wouldn’t have made any sense to kick his ass because my mom went back to him a month later. I understand, in relationships there will be disagreement. However, there is a difference between a discussion and a screaming match when glasses are broken and objects are thrown. I’m not mad at my mom, I love my mom. She was young, and she had to learn. I guess she had her own journey to make. A lot of people tend to repeat the actions they witness, but not me I learn from my mistakes. That night I vowed, I will never treat a woman the way my mother was treated. When I have children, I’m never gettin’ a divorce so they can have the same 'momma and daddy'. I was six years old...

teen years

After much begging, pleading, several years of bad grades, and fights in school, my mom allowed me to live with my dad in Chicago. Fast-forward to my sophomore year of high school. My grades were up, my temper was even, and I had what I considered my first real girlfriend. It was puppy love. The talk on the phone for hours, You hang up. No, you hang up. type of love. We were dating for two whole