This Is It. Get off the Damn Pity-Pot and Finally Start Living

By Paul Wolanin

This is it is not a book for the faint of heart or those that are easily offended. This is it was written to ignite change in your life to help you discover what is keeping you from living the life you've always wanted. Procrastination, excuses, justification, self-pity, and laziness are diseased ways of thinking that manifest in our behaviors, and this book shows the reader how to eliminate these destructive ways of living for good.

Written by Paul J. Wolanin - a Master's level addiction and mental health therapist - this book takes the reader on a step-by step journey to uncover what isn't working, dig a hole, and bury these destructive ways of living for good. Based on his own professional practice and personal experiences, Wolanin delivers an almost lethal dose of reality to anyone looking to get off their behind and make major changes in life. This is a book about doing things differently. Change isn't easy and that is why people resist it. This is not a book to sit down and read for pleasure; this is a book to read and then do what is suggested. This book will help you live a better life, but it won't be easy. You CAN change, but only if you are ready.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Paul Wolanin
• Release date: Mar 7, 2016
• ISBN: 9781310399114

Paul Wolanin

I have been an addictions therapist for over a decade and a recovering guy for almost 12 years. I write for everyone: addicted, recovering, or anywhere in between. I am a firm believer that anyone can change their life if they are willing to put in the work. I've done it, and so can you. I write books, articles for various website around the web, and love what I get to do for a living. Writing is not my full-time job right now, but it brings me lots of fulfillment getting to put my ideas on paper for others to read. Thanks for checking me out!

Book preview

A letter to the reader:

L

et me start by saying that this book might offend you. If you are not ready to take a hard look at the way you’ve been living, this book is likely not for you.

This book contains strong language on purpose. If you’re not okay with that, I’d strongly recommend you put it down now. Sure, I’m perfectly capable of not using strong language to get my point across, but this book isn’t supposed to be warm and fuzzy. This book was written to jolt you back into reality and show you what you’re capable of. Some of the words won’t be easy to read, but you’ll survive. Either way, you’ve been warned.

If you’re still with me, cool.

I don’t know you, but I do know that this book won’t be for everyone. I’m not writing it for everyone. I only hope to reach people that want to understand the truth about the disease of addiction, recovery, and self-development. I’m writing this book for people who want to get their asses into gear. Hopefully that’s you. Here’s why:

Changing what isn’t working in your life will be incredibly hard. You will fail more than you will succeed, but you will succeed if you keep putting one foot in front of the other. I’ve done it, and so can you.

To my knowledge, it’s impossible to simply read a book (including this one) and change your life. It’s not the words on these pages that will make you change, it’s what you do with the words on these pages that will count. Most people are content with just reading a book, letting it soak in, then immediately going back to their comfortable old routines. This is a surefire way to fail, and I hope this does not apply to you. It doesn’t have to. Make a decision that you are going to take this book and make it come alive in your life. Read the words, let em’ marinate in your mind, then get your ass in gear.

Remember that it’s not easy to hear the truth. Hearing the truth is painful at first. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. Change is hard and that is why we resist it. Change is progressive and it doesn’t happen overnight. Change never happens by accident, and it never happens without failing along the way.

That’s what change looks like. It’s not a straight line to the top. Change is more like a twisting road with lots of obstacles, detours, and flat tires along the way. Just because it gets hard doesn’t mean you should quit. The fact that life seems to be getting harder is your signal that you’re onto something – that you are that much closer to where you are supposed to be, wherever that is.

This book is written from my own perspective – someone that has changed damn near everything in life and is still failing horribly at times trying to be a better man. As an author, you might think that I really must have my shit together. I do in some ways, but in other ways I’m still a work in progress. I’m learning as I go. I’m not the undisputed expert in addiction treatment, self-development, or motivational writing. I’m simply presenting what I know to be true.

Take it or leave it.

If you don’t know me, the first thing I’d like to tell you is that I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. I identify as clean and sober because that’s what I am. Many folks might say that this sort of thing is against the traditions of 12-step groups, that clean and sober implies two diseases, but I disagree. I’m sober off alcohol and clean off drugs. I go to meetings, I have a sponsor, and I work the steps.

I’m a member of the most awesome fellowship in the world, but I won’t tell you which one. It doesn’t matter. I have a disease, and my disease doesn’t give a shit what I call it. It wants to sabotage my life: ruin my health and sanity, steal my time, erode my spirit, and destroy my self-esteem.

To me, addiction is addiction. It’s an evil, mind-bending, selfish, degrading, and chronic disease of the mind, body, and spirit. I know these things are true because I lived a large chuck of my life in the clutches of this disease.

I’m a believer in fighting fire with fire.

When my disease is active (and I don’t have to be using a substance for my disease to be active) it doesn’t talk to me in suave tones. It’s not nice, not rational, not spiritual, and it doesn’t want me clean and sober.

My disease screams at me when I’m not keeping it subdued by working a recovery program to the best of my ability.

When life gets busy, or when I become distracted, off balance, tired, or when I simply get a case of the fuck-its it’s game on. My disease takes off the gloves, slips on brass knuckles and fights dirty. I have not taken a drink of alcohol or used a drug in well over a decade, and my disease still talks shit to me when I’m not holding it in quarantine by keeping my life in order.

Along with being a man in long-term recovery, I’m also a professional in the field of addiction treatment. I work full time as an addictions therapist at a residential facility, and treat clients every single day who are wrestling with the demons of addiction.

I have extensive experience working with folks who have all sorts of issues with addiction, mental health, relationships, depression, anxiety, trauma, suicidal thoughts, and a million other things.

I’m a certified Addictions Counselor with a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology, and I’ve just begun working towards my Ph.D. as well. I have all kinds of knowledge on how to help others. I’ve amassed thousands of hours running groups, individual sessions, working with families, and writing treatment plans. I’ve earned my stripes, so to speak, and I’m proud of that.

Wow, good for me, right?

Why do you need to know all this about me?

Who gives a shit?

I’m not telling you all this to brag, boast, or pretend that I’m the guy with all the answers.

I’m not. I do not have all the answers. I might know a thing or two, but I’m still figuring out life as I go, just like you are. There are plenty of people that know much more than I do. I share a bit about me and what I know so that you can understand something very clearly:

It