If You Got Stopped...You Deserved It

By Motor Cop

Cop stories.

Everyone wants to hear them. From the funny to the tragic, people can't stop themselves from listening.

Inside, you'll find a selection of posts compiled by Motorcop (aka "MC") from his blog (motorcopblog.com), including some never-before-published posts written specifically for readers of this book.

From MC's first rant to his experiences responding to an officer down, this book covers everything...the humor and the tragedy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Motor Cop
• Release date: Nov 24, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311345189

Book preview

IF YOU GOT STOPPED...YOU DESERVED IT

MotorCop

Copyright © 2015

All rights reserved.

Dedication

First and foremost, I want to dedicate this to my family. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. The support of the Wife is the foundation of everything I do. The unconditional love from the MClets is a daily reminder of how blessed I am. I love you guys so very much!

Speaking of family, I must also thank my parents. Their guidance, direction, and support over my life is exactly why I am the man I am today. I love you, Mom and Dad!

This book wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for one group of people: My Readers. I never would have had the wherewithal to write day after day and week after week if it weren't for you lot.

Acknowledgements

Being the first foray into putting out a product like this, I must acknowledge a few folks:

First, to my editor, Keynyn Brysse. Your offer of help many moons ago well before I was ready to put this together and subsequent agreement to give me a hand, well...I just...how can I say thank you appropriately...oh, like that!  Cheers, Keynyn!

To the wonderfully supportive community of Dreamers and Builders. Watching your hustles over the life of the group has been a constant source of motivation and inspiration. May God bless you in all your endeavors, my friends.

CHAPTER ONE

MC's Origin

Where It All Began

Ok. I've taken a deep breath and am bravely stepping off the 20th-century cliff and waiting to freefall into the next century.

So, here's the deal. I'm conflicted about this whole blogging thing. First of all, what in the fuck is a blog? Seriously. Gotta be one of the stupidest new words. Second, as the majority of my friends and family can attest, I suck at returning emails. How does that relate, you ask? Consistency, friends, consistency. I make no promises to hourly, daily, weekly, or monthly update my new nemesis; however, on the rare occasion on which I do, I can promise an uncensored look into the life of a motor cop.

I am not creating this sucker to regale all of you with the newest and coolest stuff my daughter does. The Wife takes care of all of that. No, this is more of a way to relieve some pent-up frustration about my job. You all know what I do and where I work, but for the sake of not misrepresenting my Department, I will henceforth refer to the place I work simply as the Town. I will most likely say some things that will inevitably be misinterpreted by the wrong set of eyes who may or may not look to screw me for exercising my First Amendment rights. To those eyes, I simply say, Suck it.

DISCLAIMER:

I work with and around some characters. You know who you are. Characters use colorful language. I, myself, am a character. (This is mostly a warning for you, Mom.) There will be R-rated language on this blog. I'm a cop. We swear. Deal. 'Nuff said.

DISCLAIMER #2:

I get wordy. Not sure that is a word, but it should be. The Wife can attest to my verbosity. Now, I know that is a word. From time to time, things happen at work that piss me off. When I get pissed off, I tend to run off at the mouth. I type faster than I talk. Figure it out.

DISCLAIMER #3:

If, by some glorious twist of fate, you stumbled across this blog and you happen to be someone I stopped and cited, this is what I really wanted to say, Holy shit, I can't believe you just [insert violation here]. You suck at driving. Sign the fucking ticket and I'll see you in court... Can you make it a Monday, though? That way I'll get paid overtime to screw you twice! MUAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! At which point, in a perfect world, fire would come out of the tailpipe of my Harley as I speed away to violate someone else's civil rights.

DISCLAIMER #4:

Disclaimer #3 is only partially true.

DISCLAIMER #5:

Disclaimer #4 is bullshit.

Ok...enough frivolity. I actually want to say a couple quick notes of thanks to three specific people who have inspired me to write this blog. #1: Mom and Dad...Mom has encouraged me for years to get my work thoughts on paper. Not sure this counts as paper, but close enough for government work. Dad actually did write the majority of his work details in a log/journal which I've always thought was cool. #2:  The Wife...what don't you inspire me to do? I fucking hate jogging and you got me doing that. This I can do whilst drinking at the same time. Win/win. Seriously, Sweetheart, your vigilant updates have helped keep my family connected with our daughter. I can never thank you enough for that. You, too, are a gifted and talented writer. Your dad is right...publishable. xoxo.

Well, that about does it for the inaugural post. Enjoy the ensuing hilarity.

I'm off to make friends and influence people....

Who is MC?

I'm a police officer in the Great State of California (says so on the seal). I'm fortunate to be one of those assigned to two wheels.  I've been a police officer for somewhere between three and thirty years.  My age is indeterminate.  You may think you know where I work.  You are wrong.

What I detail here is culled from years of experience and training.  My aim is to entertain, educate, and (from time to time) unload.  The stories I tell here range from ones I have personally experienced to ones I have witnessed.  The time tables I claim may or may not be accurate.  That is to say, a story I reference may have happened last week, last month or last year.  I take a lot of literary license.  If you think you were involved in one of those calls, the odds are against you.

My employer (to the best of my knowledge) is aware of my little corner of the interwebs; however, they do not endorse what I write.  Make no mistake, I am not here representing my department.  The opinions I reference are mine and mine alone.  Keep in mind my first aim above was entertain.  I am not familiar with your department's policies, so don't go saying, MC said I should XYZ because you'll probably get fired.  If you are a civilian and are offended by the things I write, you should assume that whatever I wrote was written with sarcasm and tongue firmly planted in cheek.

My hope is that I elicit an occasional chuckle or perhaps a guffaw.  In this blog, you will find tips and tricks, periodic questions to challenge your decision-making in my somewhat regular Ask MC series, and shenanigans a-plenty.

You will often find me referencing my partner in crime, Happy Medic.  You can google the Crossover Show to hear us live