Wilder Thoughts

By Jessica Marie

Have you ever wondered what it looks like when shit hits the fan? Have you ever have had a dream deferred? How long is the longest that you have gone single? Ever wonder what it is like to have an addiction? Have a fuck-up for a sibling and/or come from a deranged family? Then, this "book" is for you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jessica Marie
• Release date: Aug 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005034160

Jessica Marie

The world, which presently consists of going back and forth between Mexico City and Nashville, is my desk. I carry it around with me on my way to work on the Metro, taking a ride to Chapultepec Park on the old city busses, and on my way back home on the airplane. No matter where I am, I am the type of writer who is constantly working on a something. I cannot help myself. Thoughts are always flooding my mind as I go from here to there and from place to place. Little episodes flash before my eyes, and I need to write the details as quickly as possible before they're gone. Although imperfect and not entirely clear, it is at least a start...Who knows if they will ever come back, and if I don't write them down I will be left with nothing.When I am able to be in one place long enough to sit down and actually just write, it isn't easy. Being quite the busy body that I am, I get bored just sitting there and would need a lifetime supply of coffee, suckers, Cheese-its, and cigerettes (if I still smoked ;) ) to get me through.

Book preview

Wilder Thoughts

Published by Jessica Larson at Smashwords

Copyright 2021 Jessica Larson

Smashwords Edition, License Notes Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support

Inspired by True Events

Introduction

No. This is not a sequel. I actually do not know what the hell this is nor do I know what the hell I am doing. If you google Wild Thoughts, as opposed to Wilder Thoughts, the only books you will find would be X-rated Romance Novels and none of them were written by me. Although some of the thoughts in this collection are of the adult nature, most of them are just wild in the sense that they are, well, to put it bluntly, crazy. The need to publish wild pieces, however, is definitely a reoccurring theme in my pathetic writing life. My first versions, if you want to call them that, came out in waves within the past ten years or so. I told myself that it was okay that they sucked because, just think, in five more years you are going hit the big time so it will not matter. By then, you are going to have had more time, more rest, more resources, and have been able to think more clearly so that you could write better, more: New-York-Times-Best-Selling-Author-type-of-shit, that it won’t matter your meager beginnings. Bend down and get a little closer to me. I want to share a little secret with you. N-o-t-h-i-n-g-s changed. I repeat. N-O-T-H-I-N-G-S changed. In fact, things seem to have gotten worse. I seem to suck more, and I am sinking even deeper into my little black hole as a result. Despite all my good intentions and best efforts combined, I appear to be working with even less time and even less resources. The more I put things off so that I can save up enough money to quit my jobs and focus solely on writing (yeah, right) or save up enough money so that I can go back to school and not have to take out 20,000 student loan (which is basically equivalent to the price of a midsize brand new car mind you) and study like a real writer (double, yeah, right) the even more unpublishable I will become. Sooooooo…drum roll please… without further ado… here it is…Unpublishable, Too, or Rough Draft, or First Drafts, Wilder Thoughts or whatever f****** title I will end up slapping on the cover on the last minute. (P.S That makes me wonder. I do not want to put the eBook publishing people in a tizzy by leaving this part blank, but does a book really have to have a title? Let’s cut with the dog and pony show here. Is this even a real book? Besides, what if I do not want one??? I was seriously considering not putting a title until whilst perusing the book section at Barnes and Noble— where real writers have real books propped up on the shelves for display— that little b**** Billy Eilish beat me to the punch!!) Although it hopefully does not suck as much as the others (it still might not even have a title for crying out loud) I have to warn you, it still sucks. The only difference is I have not only accepted the fact that I suck (AKA that I am never going to have the time or money or whatever it is that I think I need or am lacking to get better) I have embraced it. I stop the stories when I am no longer interested AND I refuse to rewrite, as you could clearly see, if you go to the deep dark corner of the internet to find my earlier works—the same place where you find crappy strip tease videos of mediocre looking women, scammers, and the rest of internet’s rejects—I am terrible at. I ended up going into a long boring spiel, (Who likes a rambler?) butchering it have to death, and/or being a writing whore by giving up all the goods too fast too soon on the first date leaving nothing to your imagination and leaving you no longer interested in calling me back the next day.

So, here is the plan. I told myself that I was going to consciously make an effort to write, as much as I could (Although I am on summer break from the mounds of papers that need to be corrected and never-ending lesson planning, there is still plenty of dumping doo-doos out of kid potties, blowing boogers out of snotty noses, and other child-rearing delights that are presently called my life to keep me from getting it done.) for six weeks and publish. My own little self-inflicted NANO period. Period. I was going to pay attention to, and jot down any and everything that came to mind. No matter how silly (and trust me, A LOT of this is silly)! Not exactly timeless literature here.

I have to admit that I am hesitant to not only write, but publish thoughts that will be irrelevant by the time they are actually in print. It is even crazier to be sharing thoughts that may or may not be how I really feel at all, let alone two minutes after I jot them down. So, make sure you take all this with a grain of salt. Yet, as a wannabe writer, you have to start somewhere, so why not start with what is presently on your mind? I almost spent thousands of dollars in student loans in order to go back to school and have somebody tell me that same exact thing.

I can just about imagine the English department now. The little grammar Nazi’s, all suited up in full uniform on a Saturday night, sitting around on the couch munching on apples and playing Words with Friends while simultaneously correcting Lit I essays. They do not do what they do because they genuinely love their jobs and love reading about high school woes. Au contraire. They do it, year after year, because deep down inside they have a secret fetish with counting and keeping tabs of all the mistakes that their idiotic students are making. They get off telling each other all about it, too. They would have a field day with me. I