Through The Trees~ The poetic end to a toxic relationship

By Nina C Palmer

Written from personal experiences, this poetry book truly captures the occurrence of verbal and emotional abuse, in relationships experienced by someone in a relationship with a person who has a personality disorder. It is a collection of poetry based on the grief encountered when that relationship ends. The nature based metaphors are designed to reach a wide array of readers and apply to the loss of any type of relationship. From spouse, to sibling, to parent, or friend, these writings will hit home with all. It is a truly inspired collection of work. It relates with the heartache of the loss but also uplifts and inspires. This poetry takes the reader through a realm of emotions and leaves them at the ends with the courage to move on.

From the back of the book:

Take a walk through the trees, a poetically written journey of nature and metaphor. Experience a wilderness that comes alive with a hauntingly enchanting spirit. We all have, or will, experience the heartache at the end of a relationship. It could be with a friend, a love, or even someone from our own family. We grieve all the same. This humble book of poetry is a journey of healing. Each chapter represents a stage of grief. The writer touches the hurting soul in a most compassionate way with artful words that are deeply vulnerable and true to the experience of loss.

Challenge yourself to deep self reflection as you take a journey through denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. May you find your way out of the woods and finally be able to see the forest through the trees.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nina C Palmer
• Release date: Sep 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311117281

Nina C Palmer

Nina C Palmer is a poetry writer who just published her first book.About "Through The Trees: The poetic end to a toxic relationship"Written from personal experiences, Nina truly captures the occurrence of verbal and emotional abuse in relationships experienced by someone in a relationship with a person who has a personality disorder.A collection of poetry based on the grief encountered when that relationship ends. The nature based metaphors are designed to reach a wide array of readers and apply to the loss of any type of relationship. From spouse, to sibling, to parent, or friend, these writings will hit home with all.A truly inspired collection of work. It relates with the heartache of the loss but also uplifts and inspires. This poetry takes the reader through a realm of emotions and leaves them at the ends with the courage to move on.Through The Trees was released in July 2014

Book preview

Introduction

There comes a day in our toxic relationships, be it with a friend, lover, or someone from our family, that the veil is lifted. Suddenly we see them not for who they led us to believe them to be, but for exactly who they are. Their charms and manipulations become transparent. We begin to look for a way to cope— always questioning if we shouldn’t just be looking for a way out.

We reference the five stages of grief as a process we go through to cope with loss. Most commonly, it refers to death or a terminal illness. It is, as if, we who endure a toxic relationship are not allowed to cope with such a process ourselves. We must cope with the stigma of walking away from someone we committed our lives to. We must cope with the manipulations from the person who psychologically tortured us. We must move past those fears of abandonment.

Within these writings is the deep emotional hurts that accompanies each stage of grief, but leads to the freedom we wish to have. In hope, by allowing ourselves to connect to each stage, it may assist us in moving from one stage to the next. We might finally be able to move on free from bitterness or any ill grievances. Written in extensive metaphor and symbolism, the following is to guide you through each chapter’s points of view.

Denial:

A toxic person will shroud their intentions in charm. We fall for them. We love them. It is exactly the way they want it to be. Every velvety word, every seemingly gentle touch is nothing more than a ruse. When we are spellbound by them, it is as if a heavy fog has surrounded us. We become lost.

Anger:

When deception is realized, anger creeps in. We might be angry with ourselves for being so blind or angry that the person we entrusted ourselves to could be so incredibly hurtful. A battle ensues for our self-respect, but someone who has conditioned us so well to doubt ourselves and follow their lead is usually victorious. The anger still writhes under our surface anxiously plotting an escape.

Depression:

Seemingly defeated, it is not difficult to comprehend this mid-stage. The emotional captor has us under a spell. Feelings of fear, obligation, and guilt consume us. You doubt our worth, and our self-esteem suffers. Sadness fills our days, and depression sets in. We allow ourselves to fill the position that the toxic relationship requires us to occupy. To them, we are no more than an endless pathological supply of self-fulfillment. Our own needs fail to be met or even acknowledged. If we venture outside of this position, we are quickly dismissed and firmly placed back where we belong.

Bargaining:

Perhaps we can only endure so much. We begin to see our suffering as unnecessary and pointless. We look for a way to make it all work and for them to have their cake and eat it too. It is the greatest challenge we can embark on and it always leads to epic failure. Our happiness and well being is of no concern to them. Their only hope is that we abide by their rule. Our suffering is what pleases them the most. Alas, still we ponder perfection. We ponder changing ourselves for them. Then we have the age old thought that we can help them change. We attempt to make an exchange. If I do this, then they will not have to do that. I will no longer hurt or be hurt. We can both be happy.

Acceptance:

We did all we could do and yet the cycle still continues. We have been alienated from anyone’s rescue. We have endured baiting, blaming, and bullying. We have been gas lighted, groomed, and manipulated. There comes a day when playing the victim is no longer an option. Being a scapegoat is no longer tolerated. We execute that escape. It’s time to let go.

This emotional journey is like walking in the woods and getting terribly lost. In the end, we must dig down to whatever inner strength we have left and hike our way out. In this journey, you are not alone. Let us embrace each step towards reclaiming our will power and self worth. When the journey finally reaches its conclusions, may we stand and look back finally able to see the forest through the trees.

Denial

"In the meadow a calm morning has set