The Emotional Origins of Anger

By Barry Stanley and Ian Young

The message of the book is universal and relates to the essence of our humanity.
It is an illustrated guide to understanding the emotional origins of our anger. By understanding the origins we can learn to defuse our anger and resolve the external issues that promote it. Such issues have often stayed with us from our childhood, or arise in the present.

The relationship between depression and anger is noted; both the result of issues to which we see no solution. By acknowledging and exploring the emotional origins of anger our apparently hopeless and incurable problems can be resolved.

It is important to understand that the mechanism of the anger associated with brain trauma or developmental abnormalities is different and requires different counselling and interventions, not covered in this book.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Jul 26, 2012
• ISBN: 9781466940291

Barry Stanley

Married for forty nine years, he and his wife have four children and nine grandchildren. They came to Canada with their three oldest children in 1969. Graduated as physician in the U.K. in 1964 then trained and practised as a surgeon for thirty years. Subsequently, after training, he practised psychotherapy, anger management and couple counselling in Ontario, Canada. During this time he became increasingly involved with the diagnosis of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and the counselling of individuals with FASD and the families who supported them. He retired from clinical practice in March, 2011.

Book preview

Copyright 2012 Barry Stanley.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1-4669-4031-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-4030-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-4029-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012909832

Trafford rev. 06/19/2012

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Contents

THE EMOTIONAL ORIGINS OF ANGER

CONTROLLING OUR ANGER

HOW TO TALK WHEN THE OTHER PERSON IS ANGRY

CHANGING OUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS

THE EMOTIONAL ORIGINS OF ANGER

People who have brain injury or psychotic conditions are unable to control their anger. These notes do not apply to them.

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Alcohol also interferes with our ability to control our anger. Control of anger requires control of alcohol.

When we lived in caves,

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anger was necessary to deal with physical danger.

Now most of the dangers that threaten us,

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are psychological

It is no longer helpful to get angry

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when we feel threatened.

Anger is a burden.

Within a few weeks of birth, a baby can show fear. It is the fundamental negative emotion, created by a real or imagined danger.

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Later, the