Tales From The Coffee Pot
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About this ebook
Humorist and poet Michael Pollick was commissioned to write coffee-related humor pieces for a gourmet coffee roasting company in Portland, Oregon. His instruction were simple and straightforward: Mention the word "coffee" at least once, and keep them under 400 words. He almost made it.
The essays were never published, however, and they remained hidden away in a drawer for over ten years. This explains why Eisenhower is still president and there are no emoticons or hashtags anywhere.
What IS there is plenty of entertainment, starting with the joys of going bottomless and the great hymnal wars. There are dead hotdogs walking, Spock thermoses shattering, and even some coffee brewing.
These ultra-short essays make for perfect light reading as you enjoy your first or thirtieth cup of steaming hot gourmet coffee and a donut.
Michael Pollick
I was born in Akron, Ohio in 1964, but now call the Deep South home. My interest in creative writing started at a very early age, after several teachers entered my class assignments into regional and national writing competitions. I had my first professional publication credit at age 16. I mostly write poetry and microshort fiction, but have also started writing humor essays. Some of these essays were scheduled to appear on the labels of gourmet coffee cans from Portland, Oregon. Others appear in my print titles "Growing Up Bulldog: The Stowbilly Chronicles" and "All That To Say This".My work has appeared in numerous literary magazines and journals over the years, including The Iconoclast, Miller's Pond, Midwest Poetry Review, Whatever Remembers Us and Will Work For Peace (new political poems). I have also created a series of visualized poems based on the collection available here at Smashwords. They can be viewed at https://vimeo.com/channels/michaelpollick or at my YouTube channel.Here's my first professional review:"By John Davis For The Decatur Daily | 0 commentsALL THAT TO SAY THIS.By Michael Pollick.CreateSpace, $5.75, paperback.I found this collection of essays, vignettes and poetry captivating. Indeed, the essays and poetry are each uniquely valuable, for they reveal entirely different aspects of this gifted writer. I found this collection worthwhile, and here’s why.Michael Pollick, born and raised in Ohio, and now a Decatur resident, offers a treasure trove of humor. Most intriguing, however, we learn that he is not only genuinely funny, as his essays on school life (and coffee!) reveal, but he is also a mature, intense, thoughtful poet.You can tell when someone is funny when he can make you laugh, when reading by yourself, about places and people you never met. Pollick is a humorist in the vein of Mark Twain.He takes relatively benign events, such as his home town’s Fourth of July parade, his grade school’s bizarre teachers and his high school’s social engineering and make them so funny you want to tell someone. I suppose what I found most appealing was his Jay Leno style of using exaggerated “psycho babble” to explain school days manipulations by psychological experimentation.Pollick does as well as Bill Cosby, whose spelling class, scary kid stories, and Fat Albert reminiscences remain among our funniest memories. You’ll have to read the book to enjoy the tales of the little Spock-throttled third grade prisoners marching to the demands of their Skinner box school days.What’s more, you’ll find the coffee essays equally entertaining. Not only coffee, though, but rambling thoughts on Saturday morning cartoons, mattresses and broken thermos bottles will keep you reading one short vignette after another. You’ll find you don’t want the list to end. And might I add his list of defined coffee terms is an absolute hoot!And then you get to the poetry. You find a different man writing here. Here we find a sensitive, indeed, poignant poet. We read of nostalgia and of the sense of loss. I find links to the earlier humor in an unusual way. A writer who can draw us back to common experiences which make us laugh, can also do as well to make us cry. I read “Bringing the Wendy’s” and knew this poem would live long after we are all gone.Pollick’s books are available on Amazon.com and Createspace.com."
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