□ DO ANY of your readers know if Shania Twain has ever eaten a Scotch egg for her lunch?
Kay Evans, Darlington
*An interesting question, Kay. A Google search of ‘Shania Twain scotch egg’ tantalisingly offers up 770,000 results, but none of them reveals whether or not the Canadian songstress has ever eaten one for lunch. And clicking on the images displayed pictures of either Scotch eggs or Shania, but not both. Perhaps you work in a shop selling Scotch eggs and have served Ms Twain one of the sausage-meat-enveloped eggs. Or perhaps you have booked her to play a concert and she has requested Scotch eggs in her rider. Write in and let us know.
□ WHEN asked where they were and what they were doing when they heard that American president JFK was assassinated, or that Princess Diana had been killed in a car crash, everyone will have a different story to tell. But if asked when they heard that Prince Charles had just been crowned King Charles III, I imagine the vast majority of people will say that they were sitting at home watching the telly.
Jack Barnstorm, Luton
□ ITV have just run a trailer for The Real Housewives of Chelsea and described it as “unmissable”. After seeing it, I would genuinely be fascinated to hear what the station considers “missable” TV.
Eldon Furse, email
□ I WONDER how wankers coped before the printing press was invented? I suppose the mental wank bank was as available as it’s always been, but the women in those days were horny-handed, with rotten teeth and big hairy muffs. I’m so glad I live in the age of the internet.
Stuie, Bunny
□ that football should take a leaf out of figure skating’s book. When a player scores a goal, someone
