My Baby's Feet

By Sheila M. Luck

Choice, Death, and the Aftermath

Fearfully and desperately wanting to hide my mistakes and deny the unwanted, but not totally unexpected ramifications of my earlier choices, I chose what seemed to be the easiest answer. I chose death, and then I moved into the aftermath of my choice. I, for a lifetime and beyond, will live in the aftermath of my choice. Although there is recovery, through forgiveness, there are lasting ramifications. No one told me that the ramifications of my choice would last forever. No one told me what my choice would do to my heart. No one told me that my choice was, in fact, a death sentence for my baby.

Are you or someone you know, facing an unwanted pregnancy? Are you wondering if “choice” is the answer, the easiest solution?

After the “choice” comes the aftermath. A living choice not only gives life to a baby, but results in an aftermath of life. Abortion results in an aftermath forever shrouded in death, death of a baby, perhaps death of your own baby. For those struggling with the post abortion aftermath, you and your loved ones can find healing and forgiveness.

This book is for:
* Moms wrestling with choice and an unplanned teen pregnancy
* Loved ones who are seeking resolution after abortion
* Anyone who has had an abortion and wants to know how to feel better.

About the author
Sheila and her husband Wayne have been blessed with two beautiful daughters. She is currently on the Board of Directors of Elizabeth Ministry International and Wisconsin Right to Life. In 2010, Sheila received a certificate in equipping from The Masters Institute.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Aneko Press
• Release date: Mar 27, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311249555

Sheila M. Luck

Sheila and her husband Wayne have been blessed with two beautiful daughters. She is currently on the Board of Directors of Elizabeth Ministry International and Wisconsin Right to Life. In 2010, Sheila received a certificate in equipping from The Masters Institute. Sheila began her career following college working as an engineer for IBM. After three years, she resigned to attend law school at Marquette University Law School, graduating in 1985. In 2003, after nearly twenty years of being employed full-time as an attorney, Sheila retired and accepted God’s call to begin writing Christian books and speaking for a variety of Christian organizations and schools.

Book preview

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my baby’s feet

Choice, Death, and the Aftermath

Published by LIFE SENTENCE Publishing at Smashwords – Copyright 2014 Sheila M. Luck

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Contents

Preface

Our Daughter’s Feet

Our Second Daughter’s Feet

The First Feet

On an Independent Path

Running Shoes

An Evolution of Heart

Regrettable Steps

Parallel Journeys

A New Path for Life

The Final Step

My Baby’s Path

The Aftermath of Abortion

About the Author

Acknowledgments

I commit this work to the Lord,

Whom I love, and

Whose merciful grace has changed my life.

I dedicate this book to

all of my children,

whom I also love.

Through God’s grace,

I will see each of them in heaven.

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Click this link to see author introduction video

Preface

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Living in the aftermath is often a story of struggles, survival, heroes, losses, surprises, heartbreak or happy endings.

The aftermath is the timeframe following a disastrous event, either naturally caused or caused by man. It is a time for digging one’s way back to the norm after a period of destruction. The aftermath may be a period of extreme hardship for some, yet it may create a time of hope for others. Some survive a disaster only to lose everything in the aftermath. Others may have been struggling before the disaster, and find new hope through the opportunities during the aftermath.

We can all recall stories of natural disasters, of war, of loss due to death or disease, or other heartbreaking times.

I read a book several years ago called The Dirty Thirties. The book was a compilation of letters written by people who lived during the Dust Bowl years in the south-central part of the United States. The Dust Bowl was a ten-year period of severe drought. Due to the drought, crops and vegetation were lost, leaving thousands of acres of dry, dusty top soil. When winds picked up, the top soil was lifted by the winds and hurled through the air making it impossible to see, building piles of dirt like snow drifts, covering roads, fences, cars, and everything in the dust storm’s path. Roads were impassible. Fences disappeared from sight. People, blinded by the dirt, groped their way to their homes for shelter. Food was scarce, at best, as farmers were forced to choose to eat their last remaining cow, horse, pig or other livestock, or face starvation.

Living through these years was horrific. Recovering from them was the aftermath. Thousands were living, simply trying to survive, in the aftermath of this natural disaster. Many had lost their homes, their farmland and family members.

In addition to natural disasters, we are often faced with man-made disasters, big and small, due to things that we have done or things that others have done to us or around us.

With shock and feelings of disbelief, we recall the Holocaust during which millions were persecuted and killed. Imagine the aftermath for the survivors. They lost their family members. They lost their homes. They lost everything. I can’t imagine the struggle to recover from the unthinkable actions that they witnessed and the physical and emotional pain that they suffered.

In 2011, terrorists attacked the United States, destroying the World Trade Center, damaging the Pentagon, and downing passenger planes. Thousands were killed that day. How did the families of the deceased face the aftermath? Their lives were changed forever.

In 2008, the United States faced a severe economic recession, which was often compared with the Great Depression. The recession was the product of many poor economic decisions by powers greater than the average person. Some blamed those that work on Wall Street, some blamed the economic policies of the Federal Government, and some blamed the banks for the housing market collapse. Regardless of fault or blame, most everyone in this fine country has had to deal with life in the aftermath of the recession.

Finally, there are disasters, big and small, created by our own personal choices. Most often, our intentions are good, but because we don’t foresee some of the likely results of our choices, we may find ourselves trying to recover from a serious mistake, a disaster of sorts.

Often our choices seem well-reasoned, but we lack valuable information, we may underestimate the potential risks, or perhaps we miscalculate the impact.

Occasionally, we act without regard to the potential ramifications. Perhaps, enjoying time with friends, we inadvertently drink too much at a local tavern and then drive, causing destruction in our swerving path. Maybe we give in to lust on a lonely night, forever harming our marriage. Perhaps, feeling that we will win on the next bet, we gamble away our life’s savings. We end up in the aftermath.

Our good choices come with rewards and blessings. Our regrettable choices lead to unintended and unwanted consequences, forcing us to live in the aftermath. We find ourselves asking, How do I get out of this mess?

Our oldest daughter and I were talking about our respective preferred ways of dealing with stress, frustration and anger. We found it somewhat humorous as we both noted that we love to run to relieve those feelings. Running serves to release the steam. It brings relief through a physical activity.

Running is not only the physical movement of our feet and legs. Sometimes it can be a means of escape. Some of us run from our mistakes. We run from our problems.

Running can be a psychological game that we play (often unwittingly) by the things we choose either to do, to pursue, or to avoid. We run toward worldly success and away from failure. We run toward acceptance and away from loneliness. We run toward relationships and away from heartbreak. We run toward pleasantries and away from conflict. We may run our entire lives.

Whenever we choose either to run toward something or away from something, we are selecting a specific life path. Just like when running with our feet and legs, we often find it desirable in life to choose the path of least resistance. Pick a smooth path. Choose the shortest route. Avoid the hills, the mountains, and hairpin turns. Pick the easy path to avoid our fears, our insecurities, the risk of failure, or the risk of rejection.

As we run, we find ourselves in the middle of life’s maze, perhaps in front of a wall, unsure of the best route to the finish line. As we run through life’s maze, we make directional choices. The choices we make build upon each other. Some choices we make are very good. Some are not so good. Some choices we make can be changed, and some choices can’t be changed. Some choices leave us in a part of life’s maze that is very complicated, with the only options for moving forward being very limited and hard to do. We may find ourselves making choices that we regret, but cannot take back.

I made choices that I wanted to hide. So I ran, seeking an easy solution, a solution that would hide my mistakes and enable me to deny my unwanted, but not totally unexpected ramifications. I was embarrassed, and I was afraid. So I ran.

As I ran, I made many choices on the fly, choices which had serious ramifications, deadly and forever-and-ever ramifications. My goals were short-sighted, seeing only the potential immediate reward or consequence and not the long term ramifications. I didn’t realize that my choice to pursue what seemed to be the easiest answer brought death. After the death of my baby, I moved into the aftermath.

I, then and now, for a lifetime and beyond, will live in the aftermath of my choices. There is recovery. There is forgiveness. Yet there are lasting ramifications. No one told me that. No one told me that the ramifications of my choices would last forever. No one told me what my choices would do to my heart. No one told me that my choices were, in fact, a death sentence for my baby.

Through my story, I pray that you will know that a living choice is the only real choice.

Join me in my story of running from my choices, making regrettable choices, and slogging through the aftermath of my choices. Come with me as I discover a new truth about an old choice. Join me as I struggle with guilt and heartfelt shame knowing the new truth. Observe the aftermath.

If I had leaned on God, I could have stopped running. I would have had the strength to face my embarrassment and my fears. He would have blessed my choices because choices that honor God bring blessings.

It’s your choice. Will you make a living choice? Will you encourage a living choice? A living choice brings blessings.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Chapter 1

Our Daughter’s Feet

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The depth of love that I felt for our first child seems indescribable. I had never known any stronger, immediate, long-term bond. Until she was born, I had never before fully understood this kind of love.

My love