Stress and Anxiety: How to permanently reduce them in your life

By Ray Mathis

More often than not, when people talk about being "stressed out", or being "under a lot of pressure", they are really experiencing a dysfunctional amount of anxiety. Anxiety is technically a figment (product) of imagination. Imagination is a double edge sword. It makes us creative, and can even alert us to potentially life-endangering threats. However, millions of people often spend too much time in their imaginations, and generate a lot of needless anxiety, sometimes to the point of it being crippling or paralyzing, or making them ill.

There are a lot of books about how to manage stress better. The strategies other books give do help lower stress. However, they are often what therapists call "band aids" because they only give temporary relief, and only while you're doing them. In many ways, many of these strategies are like using over-the-counter medications for the symptoms of a cold or the flu. As long as these medications are in your bloodstream and tissues, you get relief from the symptoms of your cold or flu. However, once the level of these medications in your blood or tissues drops, your symptoms return. The reason being that they did nothing to address the virus that is infecting your tissues and causing your symptoms.

In a similar way, as long as you are exercising, doing yoga, listening to music, or meditating (or even drinking or under the influence of other drugs) , you will have less anxiety and be less stressed, and feel less pressure. What all these healthy (and unhealthy) endeavors do is give you a temporary break from the real or imagined events of your life, and the thoughts that typically go with them, and cause anxiety, stress and pressure. When you stop doing these things, (or sober up) the events of your life are typically waiting for you, or return in your imagination, along with the thoughts that usually accompany them. That causes your anxiety, stress and pressure to start to build back up. The reason is simple. Like OTC medications, these "band aid" approaches to stress management do nothing about the underlying cause of anxiety, stress and pressure - what you think about the real or imagined events of your life.

This reduction, build back up cycle is why people can become essentially addicted to all manner of things, both healthy and unhealthy. They start to notice that they only feel better when they are doing those things. Their tolerance for how they feel in between often even goes down, making them want to engage in those activities ever more than before. In the case of activities like exercise, yoga, meditating or reading, they can be benefits from doing more. However, you can overdo anything, and even the best of activities can start to have untoward effects (i.e. injury). At the very least, they deprive you of time you could, and might want to spend doing other things.

There's a difference between temporarily feeling better and getting better. GETTING better means permanently reducing the frequency, intensity and duration of anxiety, stress and pressure in your life. There's only one way to really GET better. That's to change the way you think. This book will show you how.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ray Mathis
• Release date: Jun 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301070107

Ray Mathis

I taught health education at the high school level for 33 years. In order to do that job better, I became certified in Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT). I used that training to develop a whole new approach to health education called "The ABC System of Cognitive, Emotional and Behavioral Self-management and Self-improvement". I now call that approach "The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Life". Since retiring from the classroom in 2007, I have been speaking at state and national convention in my field, to high school and college students about the "tool kit" approach. I have also presented to student teachers at many college campuses. I teach a number of graduate classes for teachers based on the "tool kit" approach through the International Renewal Institute - St. Xavier University consortium. I run "Tool Time" groups for some of the most troubled and troublesome students at a local high school near my home in northern Illinois. I advocate for adding these "tools" to the education all our young people now receive in school all across the country. I also advocate that the "tools" be added to teacher preparation programs in colleges and universities. I am available to do presentations and workshops on the "Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Life" for schools, colleges, groups and businesses.

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Stress and Anxiety

How to permanently reduce them in your life

Ray Mathis

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 Ray Mathis

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Quick References

What is it?

The first solution

The formula for anxiety

A Second solution

Put your behavior where you want you attitude to be

Unconditional Self-Acceptance

Putting any emotion in perspective

Back to USA

Learn to have an Internal Locus of Control

Getting better vs. feeling better

Learning what we do and don't control

Avoid taking unnecessary responsibility

Changing the way you think

Demandiness

Awfulizing

Cant Stand It-it is

Label and Damning

A step by step approach

Why you might struggle to GET better

Read more

What is it?

Anxiety is a figment of imagination. Please read that as product of. The reason is that the phrase figment of imagination often carries a negative connotation. It often comes with the dismissive or discounting suggestion that It's all in your head. Well, that's technically true with anxiety, because anxiety is about things that haven't happened yet, and often never do. However, it doesn't mean that what someone imagines is unrealistic. Most of what people do imagine and make themselves anxious about could happen. It's just often not as probable as they often make it out to be, and wouldn't be as awful as they imagine..

One way to define an anxiety disorder is that someone spends too much time in his or her imagination. However, it is more often than not understandable given their life experiences. For example, I nearly died from a near amputation of my right hand at age five, and again from pneumonia at age eight. Then I got to listen to the gory details of my grandmother's death from colon cancer as adults in my family related them without considering the impact it might have on me. Pretty gruesome stuff even fro adults. A few years after that, I was with my grandfather when he died of a heart attack, right after I had just told him he was going to be okay.. I'd say it was pretty understandable that I came out of my childhood with more anxiety about death and dying than other kids my age.

The first solution

This book is intended to be short and sweet, and about simple but effective things you can do to reduce anxiety, so allow me to get right to one. The way you define a problem can offer or inhibit solutions. The fact that anxiety is about things that haven't happened yet leads us to a strategy I use all the time. It has three steps. All of them are things I repeat to myself (or my wife) when I start to make myself anxious (or she starts to make herself anxious). I believe my mentor Terry London, a practicing REBT therapist, used to call this Staying in the now

Step 1: That might happen, but it hasn't happened yet

Step 2: And if it does, I'll deal with it

Step 3: Just like other people have to, and do. Just like I have other things in the past. And just like I'll probably have to again in the future

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