Brandi Whyne 6

By Celine Chatillon

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill, Futurama, and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex! In Chapter Six, Kidnapped by Time Bandits, Brandi is sucked into an alternate dimension and forced to do a little sucking on some not-so-nice space pirates—including Robin Limpdick, the evil twin of her own lover, Robin Manhood. After a good licking, she meets Captain Jacques Swallows and his right hand man, Francois, who put her to the test. Can Brandi convince the time bandits that the crew of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip can do more than just throw a great orgy?

• Language: English
• Publisher: eXtasy Books Inc
• Release date: Feb 8, 2012
• ISBN: 9781554878611

Book preview

Chapter Six:

Kidnapped by Time Bandits!

When last we spied our hapless heroine…

We must have been a real sight, drifting and bouncing about the bridge of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip, a mass of arms and bodies and lips and legs and sighs and moans. I soon forgot about our imminent demise. Instead, I focused my energies on pleasuring my dear shipmates and myself. And I was richly rewarded with mind-shattering climax after mind-shattering climax.

With shouts of ecstasy ringing in my ears, I found myself slipping away from my lovers’ arms and into a warm cocoon of light. I drifted like a dry autumn leaf caught in an updraft until I plummeted into a fluffy cloud-like softness. Was I dead?

Are you the goddess? I squeaked.

I squinted up at a figure bathed in a bright light. The irritating iridescence shone directly into my eyes. I tried to stand, but I found myself unable to flex my limbs. It felt like I weighed a thousand times my normal weight. My voluntary reactions seemed all wrong as well… The light grew stronger and whiter, yet I did not blink or close my eyes.

Had I been drugged and overdosed? It seemed an infinitely easier death than freezing to death in the cold vacuum of space or being blown into a million of tiny bits by a bomb. Had this been Robin’s doing?

What’s your name?

B-brandi W-whyne, I stammered. It felt like I had sludge in my mouth. I blinked and took a deep breath. Slowly my senses and voluntary reflexes returned to some semblance of normal. I looked up again.

It wasn’t the goddess standing before me. It was—no, it couldn’t be!

Hmm. You don’t look anything like that tart I fucked to death at the Black Whole a while back. I suppose you’ll do.

Robin? The figure’s voice possessed his familiar honeyed-tones while somehow simultaneously resonating an almost edgy nastiness. Robin, is that you?

The intense light weakened, eventually revealing my inquisitor. Tall, darkly handsome with chestnut brown hair and goatee—it was my Robin Manhood all right. And yet it wasn’t. My Robin didn’t sport an eye patch. Or an ugly red scar on his left cheek, for that matter.

He took a step toward me. Get up, wench. I’ve got some work for you to do. On second thought, just kneel right there. While our two universes are temporarily meshed together at this time-point, you can give your old pals quite a show.

A show? Two universes? Oh, dear… Then I knew for sure I hadn’t met the goddess. I had met the devil himself.

Open wide. There’s a lot of me to love. And I expect you to swallow not spit.

Our story begins…

Robin—look! It’s Brandi.

I heard Willie’s shout and twisted toward it. But my captor held me fast by my thick mass of hair, shoving his angry cock so hard into my mouth I thought I’d vomit.

Brandi? Can you hear me? the real Robin called to me. Follow my voice and crawl back into our dimension. The opening between the two may not last long.

I pushed away from the well-hung thug and cried out, Robin? Is it really you?

A palm connected with my cheek—and not my butt cheek either. I felt a welt forming and absentmindedly rubbed it. I had to find some way to get away from this villain and get back to where I belonged.

Shut up, wench, and get back to business. And you—you in that other universe—enjoy the floor show. This little tart really can use her tongue. She’s worth risking a permanent fusing of our parallel timelines together. And she doesn’t take batteries either.

Great goddess! I heard Willie’s voice. Brandi’s fallen through a crack in our dimension and has been kidnapped by time bandits!

Robin’s sigh tugged at my heart. It appears she has. Worse yet, our enemy seems to be an alternate version of us. And we all know how bad we are…

A cold shudder racked my nude form. I had met the enemy—and they were us!

"Back to business,