If He Had Been with Me

Written by Laura Nowlin

Narrated by Gina Rogers

An achingly authentic and raw portrait of love, regret, and the life-altering impact of the relationships we hold closest to us, this YA bestseller is perfect for fans of Kasie West, All the Bright Places, and Dear Evan Hansen.

If he had been with me, everything would have been different . . .

Autumn and Finn used to be inseparable. But then something changed. Or they changed. Now, they do their best to ignore each other.

Autumn has her boyfriend, Jamie, and her close-knit group of friends. And Finn has become that boy at school, the one everyone wants to be around.

That still doesn't stop the way Autumn feels every time she and Finn cross paths, and the growing, nagging thought that maybe things could have been different. Maybe they should be together.

But come August, things will change forever. And as time passes, Autumn will be forced to confront how else life might have been different if they had never parted ways . . .

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tantor Media, Inc
• Release date: Dec 22, 2020
• ISBN: 9781705248928

Laura Nowlin

Laura Nowlin holds a B.A. in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing from Missouri University. When she isn’t at home agonizing over her own novels, Laura works at the public library, where the patrons give her plenty of inspiration for her writing. She lives in St. Louis with her musician husband, neurotic dog, and psychotic cat.

Reviews for If He Had Been with Me

[Olivia Jasmin · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The book was all right, I definitely think there are better storylines out there.

For instance, I felt like she spent the first 80 chapters really setting up and showcasing character development. But then the last nine chapters when it really gets into the meat of things, and of course the ending is very sad and tragic, but I am really disappointed because I feel that the author just rushed through the ending.

I wish it was drawn out a little bit more, and slow down, also not super happy that it leaves with a cliffhanger. But I don’t find this book as sad or gut wrenching as people make it out to be. It is sad nonetheless, but also very predictable.

[Kristen Player · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Just really boring! Not my type of book the narrator was pretty good though!

[Lindsay White · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

There was SO much hype about this book. I could not wait to get my hands on it and ready it! When I finally did, I was bored out of my mind. I switched to audiobook to make it a little more exciting. Still boring. I thought that maybe the ending was going to be some sort of Hail Mary, so I unbearably kept listening…. and the ending was horrible too. I’m super disappointed!

[JessikaTaylor · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Ends with a mild cliffhanger with no mention of a book 2. Starts off slow but gets interesting half way through. Definitely 10th grade material.

[Selena Flores · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The story was great, how fast it moved was fine. But everyone went on and on about how sad and depressing this book was, and it just wasn’t. I was looking forward to a cry, and the book was very, meh.

[monse · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

HEARTWRENCHING. Absolutely HEARTWRENCHING. The book is very good from beginning but the end.. IT BROKE ME.

[Sharra Spencer · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Decent story. Ending was horrible.
We all knew what was happening. From the very first chapter, we knew. But when she ends up pregnant, and then it just ends, with no epilogue or anything to really give it closure, that's what ruined it for me.

[Pilar Lares · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I loved the book so much. You really fall in love with the characters but I don’t think the ending gave the story justice. Too open ended and just left me feeling stuck.

[Norie · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I feel like those who love this will hate me for my review but alas, we all know what they say about opinions.

I knew from the start how it was gonna end. I knew it was gonna be a tortuous middle where what’s obvious between our leads is amazingly not apparent to them. #annoying

Would I recommend this book? No. Not because it deals with a very sad topic but because it’s just obvious and drags on from elementary to high school.

Would I recommend this book? Yes, if you want to see what peer pressure looks like for high school kids. Because my word while I lived it, the pressure to do certain things can be far subtler than I remember. Queue chat with child.

[Haley Casey · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Well, the very beginning tells you exactly how it's going to end so you don't REALLY have to read the book to be surprised by what happens. There's some really good mental health representation and it's your typical YA young love with a really sad ending. The audiobook was pretty good. Nothing earth shattering but it was good enough that I listened to the entire thing.

[Carolina L · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

It was a teens diary . It had really sad parts but the ending . Really disappointing.

[crystal guevara · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I read it because someone picked it at book club it was okay

[Yecenia De la torre · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Good book will be waiting for the October release. To read his point of view

[morgan coady · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Missed the teen rating on this one....booktok you have failed me. Very predictable ending.

[Wenn Anna · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Ohhh my gosh!!! I’m Absolutely Loving This Story… Whom ever reads this post? You Have To Hear/Read this story. It’s Beautiful…

[Tania Soti · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Maybe it was due to listening it on audiobook but it was too slow and couldn’t get into it. Did not even finish

[Michelle Christensen · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I loved it and then loved it and then...the ending made me not love it.

[bernadette Hayes · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I was expecting to not enjoy the book as I'd seen alot of mixed reviews but I absolutely loved it definitely a 5 star Read highly recommend

[95mdqtq224 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I’m extremely confused by this book, it started off good but then it went downhill and I stop listening

[Anthony Rushby · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Great book. Knowing how it would end but still hoping they found eachother again.

[mpainchault · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I am sad, broken, destroyed, vomiting… thanks, just what I needed.

[nicholscott1122 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

It was very drawn out and I was not a fan of the ending.

[Books with Rebecca · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I absolutely loved this book. I started and finished it the same day it had me hooked. I'm not normally a fan of best friends to lover, but this hit me hard.I was convinced I wasn't gonna cry, but man, this book got me good.

[alexameza2620 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

At first I was like “eww cringe” but the I was like NAH REALLY GIVE IT CHANCE. Keep reading it you’ll get mad but then fall in love, but then break your heart into pieces.

[Chelsey Zarate · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

WTF!!!!!! EMOTIONAL AS HELL !!!! Like y leave like that though. So she was pregnant @ the end right ?

[nrude · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow. Couldn’t put it down and had to sit for a moment when it ended.

[Marie Crow · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Autumn had no character growth at all!!! She was completely static and it wasn’t like this is a short period of time, it was over four years. This might have been just me but she wasn’t a very likable character either. I kept waiting for her to grow out of the snotty teen behavior…. But it NEVER HAPPENED! Plus her friends suck and she never branched out or changed! I was disappointed with this but I don’t discourage people for reading because I will say I was interested and it changed my perspective on some things.

[Marcos Martins · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

this book feels like home. great audiobook. thank you so much.

[etebasile327 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

?‍♀️ Should have read what the book was about ?‍♀️
I've seen this book mentioned on social media, so I wanted to read it. It's a YA romance ?. I'm past my 40s, so there are only a handful of YA that have captured my interest. This wasn't one of those.
First of all, I want to mention that the narration is fantastic. The story is not so much ?‍♀️.
So it's the story about 2 teenagers, best friends since they were born, but at some point grew apart ?. Half the way through the book, I went and checked what the book was about because I was honestly getting bored. I ended up reading a review that spoiled the ending. Maybe that's why it didn't affect me so much in the end. One of the things that started to grate on my nerves was the " Hi! she said, Hi, he said " I understand that maybe when there is interaction between more than 2 characters, the author wants us not to be confused about who's talking. But between 2 characters always saying " she said/ he said" was really getting annoying. Personally don't know what the hype is about, but as I said YA isn't my thing. Can't believe a book with his perspective is coming out ?, like seriously, after that end who really wants to know. Yeah before I forget what is that end ?‍♀️, after the obvious , we end up with no closure. What happens?! Yeah, wouldn't recommend this book to a friend ?

[consley.cm · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

You knew what was gonna happen in the first couple sentences. The whole middle of the rebooting was boring as hell. The ending was okay but it was rushed and felt so predictable.