Kumquat

Written by Jeff Strand

Narrated by Adam Verner

Thirty-five-year-old introvert Todd Bryan hasn't really done much with his life, and he's okay with that. Until, at a painfully bad film festival, he meets Amy Husk. She's attractive. She's funny. She's quirky. And . . . she has an inoperable brain aneurysm and not much time to live. She may not even make it to the long-awaited final episode of Exit Red, the Greatest Show Ever.

She convinces him that they should do something crazy and frivolous. And suddenly Todd, a guy who doesn't do spontaneity, is on an insane road trip from Florida to Rhode Island with a woman he barely knows, just to visit a really cool hot dog place.

Many things will go wrong. But, hey, many things will go right, too. There's a hook-handed hitchhiker and some property destruction. Maybe some sex. A kumquat will probably be relevant at some point, although not during the sex (if there is any).

A laugh-out-loud comedy, a touching love story, and a cross-country adventure, Kumquat is a story about making the most out of the time you've got.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tantor Media, Inc
• Release date: Mar 7, 2017
• ISBN: 9781515989776

Jeff Strand

JEFF STRAND is the Bram Stoker Award-winning author of lots and lots of books. Some are scary, some are funny, and most are both. He bets his cat is bigger than your cat.

Reviews for Kumquat

[mollybdenum · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I liked this book, but then, I always like books by this author. It is a departure from the other books I've read by Jeff Strand. It isn't a horror tale at all and there's less funny bits, but it is a good read. I would call it a modern day romance - a story with characters that are mostly likeable and mostly deserving of better than they get as far as what happens during their adventure. For there is an adventure and a quest. The quest is to find the perfect hot dog. Getting there is half the fun, right? Perhaps not, as far as our hero and heroine are concerned. They even find a second quest before the end of the story. But I won't elaborate. Find out for yourself.
I received a free copy of this e-book for evaluation.

[mcdyson · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I loled when I was reading this book. Except for the explicit sex scenes I enjoyed it very much and will read this author again. My thanks to the author for letting me read this book.

[misspider-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book completely took me by surprise and I love it! While the premise is really depressing (the female character is going to die sometime soon from a brain aneurysm) and there are several other bad things happening, this book is anything but. Throughout the whole story, it managed to put a constant smile on my face. Sometimes it was only a small, shy smile, but more often than not it stretched into a broad grin. Can a book make you feel happy? This one definitely does! I've never experienced feeling so good just by reading a book. While desperately turning the (virtual) pages to find out what's happening next, at the same time I was hoping that by some magical trick there would always be a steady number of pages still ahead of me, making it never end.While Kumquat may be categorized as a romantic comedy, it thankfully avoids any cheesy clichés. The main characters are no beauty models with homes out of magazines and their lives are anything but perfect. But it is exactly this awkward and slightly nerdy tenor of normalcy that enables the reader to relate to and fall in love with Todd and Amy and enjoy every moment of their being together as much as they do.Pessimists may criticize that the positive attitude towards even the most unfortunate situation is completely unrealistic, and with all that happens throughout the book this rather should have been a drama. But I admire Todd's ability to cope with each rock (or, to try to fit with the book's theme, banana peel) fate throws in his way and Amy's general calm mood anyway. Of course Todd is upset with every loss he has to endure, but he always manages to get back on track and remember what's truly important: being together with Amy. OK, maybe some romance cliché after all, and you may need a tissue or two now.I really do hope that Kumquat will get the attention it deserves and hopefully will become 'a major motion picture soon' - and I'd gladly join any fund raiser for the realization of Exit Red.Highest recommendation.

[tbones-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This was a terrific book!! It had such a great pace, the main characters were so much fun, and their conversations were absolutely entertaining. This is a title I would love to revisit and hope gets adapted to film at some point.

[dagon12 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

On the surface, one would not really expect Jeff Strand to write a love story. Or at least I did not expect Jeff Strand to write a love story. And at the same time, I did not really expect to find myself reading a love story. But that is exactly what KUMQUAT is. Two people meet and over the length of the book fall in love. That's it. No big-toothed dwelling monsters. No talking, dismembered bodies that need disposal. No parasites living off anyone and causing them harm. Just two ordinary people falling in love.Now since this is a Jeff Strand book, it does mean that things get crazy and chaotic, that the comedy angle is built up and enjoyed just as much as the romance. A simple road trip becomes fraught with problem after problem. Enough that normal people would write each other off as black holes of bad luck and give up in despair. But Todd and Amy (the two main characters) persevere and enjoy the adventure. As with most romantic comedies, the story really only has a few possible endings: they end up together, they end up apart, one or both of them end up dead. But as with life and most good stories, it is not about the end but about the journey. What memories do you build? What happiness do you experience? Did you enjoy yourself? As with every Jeff Strand book, the answer to the last question is "Definitely!"

[ssimon2000-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

An endearing story of Todd and Amy on an adventure of epic proportions: to eat a hot dog at a very unique hot dog shack in Providence, Rhode Island. Doesn't sound like much of a premise, does it? This turned out to be the best book I've read so far this year!

Jeff Strand is normally a horror author, but I've never read any of his other books. In reading reviews, he's something of a master-craftsman when it comes to witty dialogue, and Kumquat is no different. The book is dialogue-driven from start to finish, dialogue between the main characters themselves, dialogue between the main characters and supporting cast, and even dialogue in Todd's mind as he argues with his OCD-self. There are many laugh-out-loud moments throughout the book, a few times where cheering would have been completely appropriate (but probably frowned upon by the people around me), and a few gasp-inducing moments, too.

It's being reviewed as a romantic-comedy, and while it does have elements of both, I would say it's more like a buddy-road-trip/forced-out-of-your-comfort-zone-for-your-benefit story rather than a rom-com. Overall, a very satisfying read which made its way onto my favorites list even before I hit the 50% mark.