This is part 3 of the 3 part series with Alice.  She's a recently divorced mother of two boys, Dan, who's nine, and Jake, who's six. In the first two sessions, Alice and Leslie focus a lot on her anxieties about her children, and her parenting perfectionism. It's so hard to raise kids, especially after a big life change, like divorce. This episode, Alice reviews what strategies have been working, and what still needs work. Today’s session focuses on additional practical strategies for things like chores, politeness, and the transition between Mom's house and Dad's house. Time Stamps7:25 How much control do I give my child? A discussion of personal power vs powering over another person9:35 Example of dialectic thinking for a child who they should have done something different11:10 Zoom in and Zoom out15:50 Flexibility and flow when the kids transition between two homes 20:10 What to do when your child refuses to do what you ask them to do21:00 Raising a responsible child, not an obedient child22:20 Joining your kids in the chaos of yelling25:07 An example of the paradox of parenting27:12 Resist the urge to fix the moment 30:36 What to do when your child says no. - give them space31:35 Leave the complaint, Don’t pick up the complaint and it won’t go anywhere32:05 Maintain your focus and don’t get distracted by the complaints - using an example of picking up your child at a friend’s houseFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Leslie-ism: You need both insight and practical skills in order to make a change in your parenting.Show Note Links:Leslie was interviewed on Whinypaluza Podcast with Rebecca Greene.  You can listen to that interview here where we discuss the causes of certain behaviors of children.  You can also follow Rebecca Greene at:Blog  https://www.whinypaluza.com/Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/whinypaluzaparentingInstagram https://www.instagram.com/becgreene5/ @becgreene5Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Dale Rubury, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Public relations is handled by Gabriela Glueck. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.