Welcome to my virtual therapy room!  I am Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and this is Sex Spoken Here. Remember that this podcast deals with adult themes so if you don’t have privacy you might wish to put on your headphones.
 
Today I am starting my series on sexless relationships.  There are far more sexless long term relationships than you might imagine.  Here I am not referring to relationships that are sexless by choice.  These relationships become sexless for a wide variety of reasons and the impact on the overall relationship and the mental health of the people involved in the relationship is often intense.  Joining me today is Dr Zoe Shaw.  Dr. Zoe shaw is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship and Life coach, writer, speaker and radio talk show host. She helps struggling Superwoman ditch their stress, love their life And thrive in beautiful chaos by giving encouragement, tips, insight and skills to apply in all areas of their lives.
 
We started by talking about the fact that there are many more sexless relationships than people talked about.  Zoe talked about the fact that often the reasons for the lack of sex have nothing to do with sex per se.  She spoke about the fact that often clients won’t mention sex unless the therapist or coach asks about sex directly.  We spoke about the fact that the biggest problem is that couples don’t talk about sex and don’t talk about the problems when there are problems.
 
We spoke about desire being an issue that is sometimes physically based and that it can be important to see a doctor to find out.  We spoke about deciding to go ahead and try sex even when desire isn’t there – skipping desire and moving straight to the arousal stage – and that often people will find that they really enjoy sex when they do this.  Zoe highlighted the fact that this still takes a conversation.
 
Zoe mentioned that the person who says no often holds the power and that this can be abused.  We spoke about partners being afraid to reach out an initiate sex because they are concerned that they will be rejected.  We spoke about people sometimes feeling more comfortable talking to strangers where they feel they have nothing to lose.  Zoe also mentioned that if you are too emotionally intimate, feel like your partner is your best friend/brother/sister, the incest taboo can kick in and make desire for your partner difficult.  We spoke about how difficult conversations about vaginal pain and erectile dysfunction can be but that if you don’t talk about these things, the outcome for your relationship will be worse.  We spoke about how many couples never share their sexual desires and fantasies and how agreeing to do this can bring a new stage of excitement and discovery to your sexual relationship.
You can find Dr Zoe Shaw at
Website: www.drzoeshaw.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drzoeshaw
Twitter: @drzoeshaw
Instagram @drzoeshaw
Or check out the Dr Zoe Show on iTunes or Sticher.
 
Thanks for joining me for Sex Spoken Here with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.
Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at drbisbey@the-intimacy-coach.com, follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook..  Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.  For a free 30-minute strategy session with me, go to www.the-intimacy-coach.com and click the button that says Schedule Now!  Why not join me for my upcoming free webinar 4 Secrets for Arousing and Igniting Your Authentic Sexual Self.  Click the link in the podcast notes to sign up or head to https://the-intimacy-coach.com/4-secrets/ I look forward to seeing you next week.