Podcast #506
 
REJECTION AND NOT FITTING IN
 





 
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast, we're talking about: 


Rejection and Not Fitting In - What to do aboutHow to reframe rejection and move confidently through itWhy rejection can be a gift that you use for massive growth and increased happiness


 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY BOY - BAKER IS 5! 

 
REVIEW OF THE WEEK - ABOUT THE COC
 


I can't believe the success I'm already getting from being in this group for less than a month! 



Thankful for COC helping me with my self-love and boundary setting already.



-Victoria




 
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
 


“Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, "Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody." ... [My dark side says,] I am no good... I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved." Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.” 



― Henri J.M. Nouwen


 
LET'S TALK ABOUT REJECTION
 


Relationship rejection - broken hearts.



Social rejection - feeling unincluded, unwanted, uncool, or like an outsider.



Family rejection - black sheep, mean siblings, given up, mistreated



School rejection - not accepted, feel marginalized



Job/opportunity rejection - impostor syndrome, fear of stagnation 



Self-rejection - disappointment and disillusionment with the self 



Note - for social rejection we often cast "projected rejection".



Be careful not to indulge in rejection when rejection isn't even happening. 







Also, let's set some things straight.



Rejection is normal.







It's part of the human experience.



It means less about you than you think it does.



People naturally group, and exclude.



Opportunities are abundant, but some are going to be closed to you.


 
REJECTION REFRAMES
 


Rejection doesn't always mean what we think it does.



Sometimes it's not about us at all.



Sometimes it is about us but it's divine protection and direction. 



Sometimes it is an opening, not an ending.



Sometimes it is an invitation into faith and an exit from self



Sometimes it is an opportunity to try again.



Sometimes it is meant to intentionally build our resilience.



Sometimes it is to thicken our skin and de-personalize circumstances



Sometimes it is to protect us from something that was not right for us.



Sometimes it is a "not now" instead of a "no". 







Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.” -ER



“Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn’t have the power to say yes.” -ER


 
SELF REJECTION
 


“Be confident, not certain.”







Signs of self-rejection:



Always comparing yourself to others



Self-isolation



Adjusting goals or not committing to them fully



Creating smaller goals or not going for big dreams because of unworthiness



Letting others choose your path in life / make big life choices for you



Indecision and second-guessing 



Ignoring your gut feeling and your instincts



Over-apologizing



Know how amazing you are. 



Embrace your feelings



Practice self-trust.


 
FITTING IN / NOT FITTING IN
 


You decide if you belong - not others.



What does it mean to fit in?



Or to not fit in?



I have decided that I want to be different.