Embrace Your Sixties

By Lesley Paterson

As you approach your sixties does the idea of becoming an older women depress you and fill you with dread?

 

Here's the good news – this can be the very best decade of your life!

 

Are you dismayed at the thought of becoming "a little old woman"? Fear not—you can make this the happiest time of your life!

Aging is not fun. It can be a very difficult time as we see our bodies changing, as we realise we are saying goodbye to our youth. It can be a time of grieving.

However, it can also be a time when we experience our greatest freedom. It can be a time when we finally get to do what we really want to do. A time when we finally get to be who we really want to be.

Do you sense a wild, joyous, free-spirited woman lurking in your shadows? Is there another you who was suppressed all the time you were caring for others? Now is your time to set her free. You can live a life of vitality, joy, freedom, sensuality and adventure in your later years.

This book will inspire you to live your healthiest, most fulfilling, most enjoyable decades as you age.

 

Be inspired to be healthy, strong and full of vitality.

Be inspired to love your body, to take great care of it, to treat it with the respect it deserves.

Be inspired by the Blue Zones of the world where people live very healthy, energetic lives well into their nineties and find out how they do it.

Be inspired by the research that says older women are at their happiest time of life.

Be inspired to unleash the hidden you, to set free your inner wild woman, your artist, your adventurer.

Be inspired to rediscover your inner sensual goddess.

Be inspired to grab this stage of life by the horns and do all those things you never got to do while caring for everyone else.

Be inspired to live your most positive life despite the losses and pains you may have experienced.

Be inspired by the mythology that said older women were wise, knowledgeable, highly respected members of society.

 

There is a new life for aging women if they just take advantage of this third stage of life.

In this sympathetic and insightful guide based on the author's own experience of her sixties and written especially for women like you, you'll be inspired to do just that!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lesley Paterson
• Release date: Apr 25, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224018918

Lesley Paterson

Lesley Paterson is a semi-retired widow who is living her best life in her sixties. She has raised a family, run her own business, experienced the loss of a child and a husband and has reinvented herself. From dreading aging to realising that this is the best period in her life, she has felt compelled to share with other women exactly what contributed to her enjoying this decade more than any other. She considers herself fit and young in heart, mind and body. Lesley writes in a chatty and conversational tone and on subjects which resonate with women all over the world. She loves to inspire women, and people in general, to live their most positive lives and believes that we are all the creators of our own happiness. She now lives in the beautiful city of Cape Town where she continues to write and develop an online business so that she can travel and continue to enjoy the golden years.

Book preview

Introduction

Chapter 1: The Current Narrative

Ageism

The Media

The Modern World

The Nuclear Family

Unnatural Aging

Let’s Change the Narrative

The Critical Factors

Chapter 2: Embracing the New Stage

The Archetypes of a Woman’s Life

Retirement

A New Life

It’s My Time

The U-Curve of Happiness

Sixty is the New Forty

Chapter 3: Health and Nourishment

Vehicle of the Soul

Taking Care of Your Body

Optimum Health

Freakish Eaters

Weight Control

Western Diets

Blue Zones

My Call to Action

How Should We Eat?

Cut Out the Crap

Nutrient Density

Low-Fat and Sugar

Overeating

Committing to a Regimen

Pottenger’s Cats and the Benefits of Raw Food

The Daily Tipple

Chapter 4: Move!

Lesson From the Blue Zones

Move Like a Youngster

My Rude Awakening

What Exercises?

Weight Training

Aerobics

Your Pelvic Floor

Posture

What Works for You

Chapter 5: Medication

Thank Goodness for Doctors

The Side-Effects

Chronic Medications

No Thanks!

Diets Make a Huge Difference

Nourishment Versus Medications

Deprescribing

Chapter 6: Grooming

The Image Age

Looks Do Matter

Scrub Up

Dress Younger

Teeth

Magnifying Mirrors

Chapter 7: Discovering the Hidden You

The New You

Rebirthing

Lives of Quiet Desperation

Who Am I?

Busting Through Boundaries

Time for Big Changes

Reality Shock

Now What?

Don’t Be Too Reckless

I Inspired Myself

The Happy Widow

Grief and Loss

Living Lighter

Finding the New You

Broaden Your Horizons

Second Childhood

Put Out Your Feelers

Changing Course

Be Resilient

Chapter 8: Sexy Inner Goddess

Sexy, Sexy Sixties

Marriage Kills Sex

An Explosion of Needs

Dating Sites

My Inner Sex Goddess

See to Yourself

Chapter 9: Finding Playmates

The Man Specification

Putting Yourself Out There

Beware the Scammers

Chapter 10: Final Thoughts

Accepting Help

Financial Security

Do Your Own Research

Are you Inspired?

Conclusion

References

INTRODUCTION

It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.

- Andy Rooney

Let’s be honest, aging sucks! If you’re anything like me, you have dreaded, or are dreading, getting old. There’s very little good to be said about our bodies aging. All those issues that come with aging bodies are pretty gross and unattractive. When I was young, I was traumatized by the thought of aging. That blotchy, scabby skin, sagging jowls, ravaged faces, aches and pains, illnesses, frailty, incontinence, dementia, osteoporosis, toothlessness, that hunched over back, those rheumy eyes scared the daylights out of me! I thought it was revolting. The reality is that the physical process of aging is not, to be very euphemistic, great.

However, on the upside, getting older is fantastic! As I’ve aged, I’ve found that as much as I loathe the physical aging process, I absolutely love getting older. To be sure of who you are, to be over all that younger angst, to know what you want, to love yourself, to be comfortable with yourself, to be over all those responsibilities of being a younger, productive, working parent. Growing older is such a blessing. A great freedom to be enjoyed.

Society glorifies the young. Everywhere we look, there are images of exquisitely beautiful young people. Never mind that they are only a small subset of younger people, they are nevertheless a constant reminder that aged bodies are very undesirable and unvalued. This is especially targeted at women, as men are deemed to look more distinguished as they age. Women are not given that privilege. We must look forever youthful without a wrinkle in sight. Our bodies must be taut, toned, and slim. But with big boobs. Firm big boobs. Pouty lips, apple cheeks, and healthy eyebrows. What is up with the girls who think it is in vogue to sport eyebrows that are thicker and darker than the average man?

The current crazy trend in cosmetic surgery and procedures has resulted in some pretty strange-looking faces. How absolutely tragic that these women find their own natural aging faces so unacceptable that they are prepared to go to these great lengths to look younger, even if the result means they look like peculiar freaks. It’s not just the aging faces being altered to fit some weird Kardashian-like beauty mold—bodies are also being subjected to surgery. Even genitals have not escaped being molded to some warped and insane idea of what society dictates a vulva should look like.

Why can’t we simply love a wrinkled face? Why can’t we see the beauty in that map of life experiences we wear on our skins? I used to have a stone bust of an old African Bushman. His face was filled with lines and wrinkles, and even in stone, his face was incredibly beautiful and wise. The lines on our faces are our life’s story.

Society is not kind to older women but dismisses them as being of little consequence with little to offer. The expression little old lady does not speak of greatness or importance; it highlights insignificance. Speak to older women; many will tell you that they feel they have become invisible.

I realize not everyone views the older woman in this light, but you get the point. When we enter this third stage of our lives, the granny stage, our value diminishes, sadly, even in our own eyes. Although we may be much loved by those closest to us, our contribution to society is considered depleted. Of course, this doesn’t sit well with me and shouldn’t be with you. The minute we hit 60, it’s not as though a switch is flipped, and we suddenly wake up frail and incompetent, and yet that’s precisely what we’re taught to believe and, dare I say it, expect. Who reading this book hasn’t been anticipating getting older with a certain amount of fear and trepidation?

So, there are not many positive feelings and thoughts about becoming a senior woman. In fact, when you think about it, when did you ever hear a positive statement about getting older? Imagine hearing these statements:

I can’t wait to turn 60, 70, or 80.

I’m so looking forward to being an older woman.

Yippee, I am entering my twilight years.

So excited to be saying goodbye to youth.

If you are reading this book, I’m assuming that, like me, you have looked at aging with trepidation and dismay. Your youth is slipping further and further into the dim, distant past, and only old age misery awaits you.

Well, here’s the good news. It doesn’t have to be like that. Much to my amazement, I am discovering that my sixties are turning out to be the best decade of my life. Yes, the best! I am a 65-year-old widow who is semi-retired, and I am living my best life and having a great time doing it. And I damn well intend on doing the same in my seventies and eighties.

Becoming a frail and helpless geriatric is not inevitable; actually, it is largely avoidable. Consider the Blue Zones, where older people are fit, energetic and able-bodied well into their eighties and nineties. This highlights that how we age in the Western world is neither normal nor natural. Do you have to work at it? Hell, yes! We should all know by now that nothing in life comes easy, but the payoff is worth it. To be in the granny stage of life, yet feel young at heart, energetic and full of vitality, is a great way to live, and I will share how I have achieved it. To my joy and delight, I am finding that I am everything but a frail, helpless, weak, unhealthy and sad little older person. Actually, far from it!

So, join me as we explore what we can do to ensure that this third stage of our lives is the best.

CHAPTER 1

The Current Narrative

Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been.

- Jimmy Buffet

Ageism

Yes, ageism is a thing. If you are in doubt, read A Social Psychological Perspective on the Stigmatization of Older Adults on the National Library of Medicine website  (Richeson & Shelton, n.d.).

This article highlights the general beliefs about old people. They are helpless, dotty, dependent, smelly, frail, forgetful, boring, outdated, senile, irrelevant, grumpy, ugly, incapable, incontinent, sexless, and burdensome.

It’s not exactly a list of compliments, but to be fair, some of those adjectives do apply to old people. Do they have to apply to old people? I don’t believe so. As older people, there is a lot we can do to not contribute to that image. Imagine if the adjectives to describe old people are wise, resourceful, fun, entertaining, spritely, energetic, smart, giving, loving, kind, tolerant, knowledgeable, adventurous, healthy, beautiful, and sexy. And yes, maybe a little wrinkly too.

With the current beliefs around old people, is it any wonder we dread getting old? Most of us look to entering our twilight years with little enthusiasm. We know that we will be dismissed, become invisible, lose our independence and possibly end up alone and lonely. With the potential of a slew of health issues, heaven forbid we become burdens to anyone else.

I grew up in Africa and spent many years living in Durban, where there is a huge Indian community. I saw firsthand the attitude the Black Africans and the Indians had toward the aged. These communities have a completely different attitude toward their aged than the Western culture. They treasure them, treat them with loads of love and respect and wouldn’t think of putting them into care homes. They have a tolerant, loving attitude that we don’t seem to share. Many times, Indian women would tell me how blessed I am to still have my mum. However, strangely, other studies have shown that young people from Asia are more negative towards the elderly than Western cultures in the UK or USA. In contrast, others show that young people Asians treasure their aged more than in the Western World.

The bottom line is, irrespective of our heritage, why don’t we treasure our aged?

The Media

The Media glorifies youth. We see extremely beautiful young people everywhere—in magazines, adverts, and movies. The emphasis is on the word young, as sometimes those young models are still in their teens.

The image presented creates an ideal that all women should be slim, beautiful, young, healthy and perfectly proportioned. We grow up with an image of perfect teeth, toned bodies, flat tummies, full breasts, clear flawless skin, masses of flowing locks, symmetrical faces, full lips, and lush eyelashes thrust at us at every turn. Don’t get me started on Barbie dolls. Honestly, she’s such a freak she couldn’t stand on those teeny tippy-toe feet if she was real, and those perfect boobs would topple her over.

Every now and then, someone with a quirky feature, like the Seventies model Lauren Hutton with her tooth gap, comes along. The truth is that the perceived perfect image presented to us daily is of a very, very small minority of women. In addition, these women are put through a process to enhance their already