Miss Manners: On Unabashed Aging

By Judith Martin

American society has it in for growing old. Common phrases such as “Never trust anyone over 30!” and accusations such as “You make me feel old!” imply living a long life is an embarrassment. Miss Manners suggests Americans re-examine their reasoning and leave misplaced vanity at the door. She responds with wit and wisdom to “Gentle Reader” queries and anecdotes revolving around the proper way to give and receive respect in this e-book original, On Unabashed Aging.

Can one offer his or her seat on public transportation without offending? Or carry an elder’s groceries? Is first name basis acceptable for superiors? Miss Manners does not simply offer her opinion, she makes pronouncements that both instruct and provoke her readers. An advocate for proper etiquette, Miss Manners applies the principles of manners to new circumstances and newly enlightened ideas.

Avoid inadvertently offending your betters, and listen to Miss Manners as she proclaims the rules of respect humorously and judiciously.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Feb 3, 2015
• ISBN: 9781449470920

Book preview

No respect for the elderly!

When certain people are not making fun of the looks and frailties that come with age, they are expressing outright disgust at those changes that time inevitably works. Furthermore, they vehemently deny the right to any forms of deference based on age, to the point of vilifying people whose crime is attempting to be polite to their elders.Please understand that Miss Manners is not indulging in the centuries-old sport of complaining that the Younger Generation has no manners. It is the Older Generation that she blames for denigrating old age and sabotaging its privileges.

Although these miscreants are Miss Manners’ contemporaries, she differs from them in a fundamental respect: She may be the only adult in America who is Old at Heart. Even more strangely, she has enjoyed this happy state since birth. When she was a mere slip of a girl, her father remarked fondly, I can picture you when you are an old lady—wearing high-necked blouses, carrying a stick, and tyrannizing over generations of your descendants.

It was an odd thing to say to a small daughter still in pigtails, who took some time to puzzle over it. Then she broke into smiles at the thought: My daddy understands me.

Her contemporaries seem to have had different aspirations. Whether or not they appreciated youth when they had it, hordes of them are now in relentless pursuit of a simulated version. You can recognize them by their ritual greeting of one another: You look GREAT!

That is harmless enough. It would be pleasant to hear, if only it were said in a normal tone of voice. However, in addition to reinforcing the illusion of youth for one another, they stoop to chastising considerate people whom they suspect of not playing along. The smallest signs of respect or consideration are often taken as insults and rudely rejected.