In kink, I’m a panty fag. When I bottom, I like rough, degrading sex while wearing lacy, feminine lingerie.
I still feel a twinge of something negative — embarrassment, shame — when I tell people this. I use these words intentionally — “panties” and “faggot” — because they are erotically charged words for me, but both elicit strong reactions in queer men, each for different reasons. I won’t go into the debate over “faggot” — a word containing such cultural weight it needs space to unpack that I don’t have here (though I will in my next book). This article is about panties: Are cisgender men allowed to fetishize women’s underwear when it’s used as a marker of subservience?
I think the answer is: Yes,
