No Asians Please

By Bathhouse Blues

Gay White men in North America have written the words 'No Asians Please' on their dating profiles online. Why do Gay White men feel this way? Moreover, how can Gay Asian men cope with this constant rejection? This book explores how Asian men are perceived and marginalized in an isolated gay population. It is an eye-opener for Gay men of all races, as many homogenized gay communities have become exclusive rather than inclusive. When it comes to sex and gay men, there is no such thing as equality.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bathhouse Blues
• Release date: Sep 24, 2013
• ISBN: 9780992066215

Bathhouse Blues

Bathhouse Blues is the world-renowned expert on gay bathhouse etiquette & culture. He has been the author of his self-entitled blog since 2001. It is still the only blog on the web to discuss bathhouse etiquette and culture. His bathhouse writings have been referenced in a broad range of periodicals worldwide, from the Huffington Post to Unzipped Magazine.He is also a contributor to the website GayDemon and runs a second bathhouse site Bathhouse Blog

Book preview

No Asians Please

How Asian Men Are Perceived In The Gay Community

Bathhouse Blues

Smashwords Edition

Discover other titles by Bathhouse Blues at smashwords.com

Copyright Bathhouse Blues 2023

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not have a reproduction or be used in any manner whatsoever without the author's express written permission except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

I have tried to recreate events, locales, and conversations from my memories of them. In some instances, I have changed the names of individuals and places to maintain their anonymity. I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations, and areas of residence.

ISBN 978-0-9920662-1-5

MORE TITLES BY THIS AUTHOR

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What Every Man, Gay Or Straight, Needs To Know About Glory Holes

DEDICATION

To Jonathan

For being the nicest Rice Queen that I know

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Racism Or Preference

Rice Queens

Body Vs Race

Prime Timers

Addicts & Abusers

Making The Connection

INTRODUCTION

The best thing I've read about the sexual politics of gay sex

- Tablet Magazine

These essays originally appeared on my website, Bathhouse Blues. Those stories take the reader behind closed doors and describe what happens inside the gay baths.

Being someone of Chinese origin, I also wrote about how marginalized Asians are in a bathhouse setting. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my essays on that subject would make me an online lightning rod. I have received hundreds of emails thanking or trashing me for my viewpoint n this subject. No topic I've written about has been more discussed or argued than the race issue - Not drug use, unsafe sex, or closeted married men. None of those issues has approached the ferocity of the raging race debate on Bathhouse Blues. After twenty years, guys are still emailing me their opinions. So I have taken those essays and published this ebook to make my writings available to a broader audience.

Now, what is a bathhouse for those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept? They are places for men to have sex with other men. Imagine a steam bath filled with highly sexualized gay men wearing only a towel, and you get the idea. If you want to learn more about the topic, read my other book, Bathhouse Blues.

I want to state the following. I am not saying that Gay White Men should sleep with or date Gay Asian Men just because it is politically correct. I believe that nobody chooses attraction. It is just a preference. White men have been conditioned from birth to be attracted only to their race. I'm not saying that is right or wrong. I'm just saying that's the way it is. I am not saying that I (the author) should have a white guy and sound like sour grapes. The bottom line, you cannot control someone else's behavior and sexual desires. No one can, which is the basis for the title. You see hundreds of guys writing No Asians Please on their online profiles over and over and over again.

Gay White Men make up 95% of the dating pool in the gay community. These Gay White Men see Gay Asian Men as worthless, undesirable, and invisible. The sooner we, as Gay Asian Men, accept that and move on, the happier we will be. Gay Asian Men chase after Gay White Men to fill that emptiness inside them, which I call the disease to please. Fellow Asian brothers, we need to start building our self-esteem and confidence. We must open our minds and look to the person, regardless of race. That is the whole point of these essays, encouraging Gay Asian Men to find someone who can appreciate our beauty and what we offer. Don't be a Potato Queen!

Some of my words may sound harsh, blunt, and even cruel. That is because I want Gay Asian Men to get angry. I want them to get mad, stand up for themselves, and say we will not take this anymore. I want Asians to turn their attitude around. To say we refuse to be a victim and won't be a second-class citizen anymore. Now I don't want to paint all Gay Asian Men this way. Some are very centered and filled with boatloads of self-confidence. But in truth, those Asian Men are a rarity.

Asians tend to have an inferiority complex. The reason? Tiger moms - it doesn't matter if you were born and raised in North America or Asia. If you had a Tiger Mom, you are emotionally stunted, lacking even the most basic social skills. For Gay Asian Men, it is also a lack of