Gay Texting

By Woody Miller

The Only Flirty Texting Guide Written For Gay Men!
The techniques in this gay texting guide will:

• Turn his ambivalence into an obsession.
• Help you develop a sense of texting humor that makes hotties want to get with you.
• Get that distant guy to pay more attention.
• Provide common texting scenarios and solutions to keep his attention on you.
• Avoid being friend-zoned.
• Use “multiple threads” to avoid conversational dead-ends.
• Dip into a catalog of 300+ witty pre-written texts when you can’t think of something yourself.

The Art Of Gay Texting: How To Make Guys Obsess Over You.

Step 1:
USE WILDLY CLEVER WAYS TO GET HIS PHONE NUMBER
(or get him to ask you for yours).
See 10 vivid examples of how to get his phone number. Too shy to ask? Read the 6 Clever Ways To Get Him To Ask You For Your Number.

Step 2:
IS HE DISTANT? SPARK HIS INTEREST.

Do it with fun, quirky texts that make him look forward to hearing his phone ding. Example: “Do you think naming two puppies Daft and Punk is a little over the top?" Learn the 9 Must-Know Tactics To Texting Guys Who Aren’t Showing Much Interest. You’ll have him panting for your next text and wanting to hang out with you in no time. It’s all on p. 25-36.

Step 3:
GET GUYS TO CHASE YOU.

See dozens of “dialogues” showing you ways to ramp up the romantic tension. Comes with my “Text Timing Chart” –showing you how to time your texts, and how long to wait to respond to his.

Step 4:
TEXT SOMETHING WITTY.

Learn the 7 Biggest Texting Mistakes Most Gay Guys Make (And how to avoid them). Try my catalog of 300+ irresistible, witty texts. They’ll capture his attention, peak his curiosity and set the stage for a strong attraction.

Step 5:
TURN HIM ON.

The word-for-word suggestions in this gay guide to texting are GUARANTEED to make him look at you and think, “Tonight just got more interesting.” These gay flirt texting tips are all on Pages 47-85.

Step 6:
GET HIM TO CALL YOU.

Stop ‘texturbating!” You got his number to meet not text. Find out the 5 ways you can get him to call if he doesn’t do it on his own. You’re worth a phone call. All on P. 29-42.

Step 7:
HOW TO HANDLE THAT FIRST PHONE CALL.

Prevent “conversation stalling” and awkward silences by using the “Multiple Threads” concept. Rephrase boring questions into interesting comments. Boring: “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” Interesting: “I bet you’re the youngest in your family.” You’ll also learn an amazing body language trick that projects warmth, confidence and sexiness over the phone. It’s all on P. 37-60.

Step 8:
POST-DATE TEXTING TO KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING.

You asked him out (or got him to ask). Great. Date go well? Then use the charming text threads in this book. If the date didn’t go well (damn, boy, what did you do—tweet through dinner?!) and you still want to see him then read my chapter on “redemption texting.” Don’t want another date? (he was so boring at dinner the corn on the cob covered its ears?) See great examples of how to turn him down or turn him into a friend.

Text Your Way Into His Heart. Or His Pants.

Scroll up, click the buy button and start texting something fabulous!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Woody Miller
• Release date: Dec 17, 2016

Book preview

Gay Texting

The Art Of Making Guys

Obsess Over You!

By Woody Miller

Copyright © 2014

All Rights Reserved

eBook editions by eBooks by Barb for booknook.biz

Introduction

Are you giving guys Anal Glaucoma? That’s when they look at your lame texts and think, I can’t see my ass in his life. Guys who can’t text get Glaucoma’d all the time. I wrote this guide to keep you from being one of them. Now let me ask you a question. Which text do you think the guy you were flirting with last night would rather get?

It was nice meeting you last night.

Or

Stop making me think about you. I’m busy.

The first one shows you have the personality of a parking meter. The second one gives him the impression you’re sexy and funny.

Texting reveals your personality. It’s a digital first impression after the first meeting. Texting is also testing. Text a guy you don’t know well and he immediately lapses into test questions: Does he like me or does he just want to be friends? Do I want to date him or sleep with him? What are his intentions? Is he funny, boring, interesting? Is he a player? Is he relationship material? Is this someone I’d want to go out with? Is he a stalker? A Stage Five Clinger?

Of course, it isn’t you he’s testing; it’s your typing. Do your texts make him laugh or reach for the Rolaids? You are constantly being assessed by the content of your texts (just as you’re assessing his). In fact, your texts are pretty much your defining characteristic until you talk on the phone or hang out somewhere real.

This places a huge burden on you to ‘produce’ good texts. He can’t see, hear, smell or feel you at the moment, so your texts are the digital equivalent of looking at your face and body and experiencing your personality. Do not kid yourself—‌your entire existence is being judged by what and how you text.

Used incorrectly, texts can toss a promising romance into the garbage disposal and flick the switch on your hopes and dreams. Used correctly, they can get you the love of your life or, at the very least, some serious action. Want to turn him off? Send an inappropriate text. Or a misspelled one. Or worse, an inappropriate text that’s misspelled. Want him walking backwards from you? Be too direct. Want him wishing he could text block you? Go emo. Want him filing a restraining order? Text him nine times in a row without getting a response from him.

But if you want him to look forward to your texts, if you want him to say YES when you ask him to hang out, then you’ve got to set the right tone, be funny, and project that you’re large and in charge without being overbearing. You’ve got to build up the romantic and sexual tension without being disrespectful or too available.

I’m going to show you how to do that. I’m going to show you how to open a conversation, how to take control of it, and how to get guys to immediately text you back. I’m going to show you what to do and what to avoid, how to create and maintain attraction, how to tease effectively, how to craft witty responses, how to increase engagement and how to entertain and challenge men.

If you’ve been friend-zoned too many times, if you’ve had guys show initial interest and then drop out of the sky, if you’re tired of texts that never lead to a date, then hold on; help is on the way. You’re about to learn how to make him spring for your dings. In fact, you’re going to learn how make guys adore you, one thumb at a time.

Just as beautiful men can render you speechless, they can also render you textless. It’s easy to choke on your own brain farts and come up with absolutely nothing clever or creative to text. That’s why this book comes with a companion volume—‌The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People—‌it contains 300+ flirty texts you can use as your own. They’ll add a little Viagra to your texting, enlarging your prospects for a romantic meet-up. Classified by 19 dating circumstances, there are no clichés, lame poems or cheesy pickup lines. Just witty texts you can send and claim as your own.

If you want to text your way into his heart (or his pants) you’re going to have to up your game. Fortunately, it isn’t that hard to lift your game to competitor status. You just have to understand the texting ecosystem—‌what works, what doesn’t and how to get there.

I write about sex and relationships for a living. I co-hosted a TV series on HBO called The Sex Inspectors, a sex makeover series that aired in 12 countries. I’m also the author of Sex Inspectors Master Class: How to Have an Amazing Sex Life (based on the TV series) and Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon (a collection of sex and dating advice). I’ve been a frequent contributor to National Public Radio’s All Things Considered, and my culture critiques have appeared in Newsweek, Washington Post, Reader’s Digest, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, and numerous other dailies.

Because I’m a writer, guys flock to me for advice on texting their way to a hangout or a hookup. They know that words can act like pheromones and that writers know how to arrange them in ways that can cast spells.

But enough about me. Let’s talk about you—‌and how we’re going to turn you into a texting champ one thumb at a time.

Before we get started let’s take a brief glance at the layout of the book so you can use it as an easy reference. Let’s start with a blinding glimpse of the obvious: You can’t text him unless you have his number. That’s why we’re starting with…

Section One

How To Get A Guy’s Phone Number Without Getting Shot Down

Chapter One

The Ten Most Effective Ways To Ask For His Phone Number.

Some guys get so anxious about asking for a phone number they make their coffee nervous. Relax. This chapter will show you how to get his number in the coolest way possible. This is a step-by-step guide, with word-for-word phrasings you can use depending on your personality style. Learn funny, witty techniques, including an approach that gets him to volunteer his number without asking. Bonus pointer! How to get a stripper’s phone number. It’s all in this chapter.

Chapter Two

How To Get Shy Guys To Ask For Your Number.

If my martinis could shake like some guys do about asking for another guy’s number I’d get drunk more often. This section will show you some amazingly clever ways of giving him your number and making him think he asked for it!

Section Two

Dude! You Got His Phone Number! Now What?

Chapter Three

He’s Not That Into You. Oh, Oh. Time For A Charm Offensive.

He gave you his number but it seemed less out of desire and more out of a lack of industrial grade pepper spray within easy reach. This chapter shows you how to text-charm a man who isn’t that into you and make him look forward to going out with you. Learn the concepts of assuming rapport, sending texts that provide value, using callback humor, and tactics to avoid getting friend-zoned. With tons of live text examples you’ll know exactly how to stage a charm offensive.

Chapter Four

He’s Into You. You’re In! Or Are You?

The conversation came easy, he laughed at your jokes and he seemed totally dialed-in on what you had to say. So what next? Raise your hand if you said, Send him a picture of my junk. Now slap yourself with that hand. It’s time to get to work! This chapter will show you how to build momentum toward a date or a hookup by amping up the sexual and romantic tension. Learn how to quickly establish comfort (you are a stranger to him, after all), how to sex up that comfort, how to avoid being meek without veering into dickishness, how to be steady but unpredictable, and calibrate the timing and length of your texts. There’s even a template that shows you how to come up with interesting conversational ideas when the texting goes drier than a popcorn fart.

Section Three

Turning Your Texts Into A Date Or A Hookup.

Chapter Five

Don’t Texturbate! Turn A Text Into A Call.

You didn’t get his number to knit text threads into adorable little sweaters. You got it because you want to hang out or hook up. The quicker you do it the better. After all, you probably had beer goggles on when