Manners Begin at Breakfast: Modern Etiquette for Families

By Marie-Chantal of Greece, Tory Burch, Perri Klass and Lydia Starkey

“An elegant call to courtesy and decorum—meant not to shame but to encourage” from a royal mother, business woman, and parenting blogger (The Wall Street Journal).

Princess, parent, and founder of a successful children’s clothing line, Marie-Chantal of Greece is constantly asked how she manages to do it all—raise her kids and run her business while leading an active social life. So many of these queries—about proper etiquette for children in our fast-paced, technology-centered world—led her to recognize the need for a modern handbook on children’s manners. Manners Begin at Breakfast addresses rules of etiquette, including basic table manners, social media, fashion dos and don’ts, and party conversation. Covering children from infants to teens, Manners Begin at Breakfast is an essential guide for all parents concerned about raising self-assured, well-adjusted children who are equipped to thrive in society and develop into confident, successful adults. Illustrated with charming, specially commissioned watercolors and written in a lively, conversational style, it is certain to become a perennial and parental must-have resource.

“When in doubt . . . ask a princess! Because even royals have to contend with social media gaffes and dinner guests doing paleo.” —Town & Country



“Princess Marie-Chantal of Greece . . . puts some pomp in her Ps and Qs.” —Vanity Fair

“A how-to guide on navigating everything from international travel to playdate dress codes . . . Chock-full of actionable, sweetly illustrated tips, proving that modern etiquette doesn’t have to be some antiquated, chew-like-you-have-a-secret ordeal.” —Domino

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Mar 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9781647001056

Book preview

Although I love to cook, I know it’s unrealistic to prepare a home-cooked meal every night. And you don’t have to serve a three-course feast for a family dinner to be successful or beneficial; the mere act of eating together has been scientifically proven to promote greater happiness within the family unit, manage portion control, and possibly even boost grades. And when children help out in the kitchen, they learn how to set the table and work well with others. These simple activities can lay the foundation for their culinary and social skills later in life.

Giving our children proper nutrients might be the primary function of breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but I think one of the most important aspects of a meal is family bonding. I believe that engaging in conversation is how we unite as a family. The family table is where stories are exchanged and where basic manners are learned. So, when to start and how? It should begin the moment you place your baby in a high chair. After all, as they grow, we give them utensils, tell them to sit up straight, and teach them when to say Excuse me, Please, and Thank you.

As most family meals are casual affairs, we may not always follow the same rules we do when dining out with others. This doesn’t mean that we should set these rules aside, of course; rather, we need a set of house rules, or guidelines. Here are a few that have worked for my family and some that I have gathered from my friends.

House Rules

Same time, same table

Sound simple? Many parents let their children eat in front of the television or computer, or while playing a video game, as it may seem easier and we probably think that it makes the child happier. However, children who routinely have meals in front of the television or at different times from their parents don’t get the chance to engage in conversation on an adult level.

Children are confronted with change on a daily basis, which is essential for character development but can also be quite stressful. Establishing routines and traditions like eating together at a set time offers them what they need most: structure and a sense of stability. I, for instance, serve dinner at about 6:00 p.m. every evening. Then it’s bath time, followed by a story or finishing their homework before bed. I believe that adhering to such routines helps children feel more secure in this fast-paced world, and gives them the basic tools with which to structure their own lives later on.

TV dinner

Although dining in front of the TV is not to be encouraged on a regular basis, it can be a fun way to bond as a family. As an occasional treat, why not set up trays and watch a movie with your children during dinner?

Tasteful take-out

When ordering take-out, I still take the time to place the food in pretty bowls and set it up as if we were having a home-cooked meal. Just because it’s take-out doesn’t mean that I allow the children to forget their manners.

Don’t compromise—manners are for life.

Everyone has a role

Just because I love to cook doesn’t mean I want to set the table and clear it every time we eat. So I enlist my children to help out. Giving children tasks at mealtimes provides them with a sense of responsibility. Even placing napkins or bringing cutlery from the kitchen drawer to the table involves them in the dining process. Their responsibilities will then grow with them. Eventually, they’ll learn how to set the table, including the proper placement of the knives, forks, and spoons, and take part in cooking or preparing food—important life skills.

No phones, please

In an age when so many people spend more time looking at their phones than at others, I feel it is important to exercise a no-phone policy at family meals. Sticking to it can be difficult, as many people feel insecure without their phones, but it’s worth persevering; using technology during a meal not only jeopardizes the art of conversation and affects concentration but also interferes with your ability to have a meaningful and enjoyable experience at the table with family or friends.

Applying this policy consistently is essential in developing a relationship with your children. You can’t engage in meaningful conversation or be an active listener if you’re staring at a smart phone or tablet. A technology-free meal also enables you to pay more attention to how your child is behaving and to gently remind them of their manners. I find myself constantly reminding my children—even the older ones—to sit up straight, eat with their mouth closed, hold the fork correctly, and other basics (more