Can First Love be Forever?

By Manisha Vashist

Samaira Sharma, a beauty with brains, a dedicated student, and a dutiful daughter, tops in the tenth board exams in Delhi and lands in the country's best school through a scholarship.

When her eyes lock with Aryan's intense gaze, time stands still. This is exactly what she did not plan to do, to get distracted and to get hurt.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Blue Rose Publishers
• Release date: Mar 15, 2024
• ISBN: 9789362619105

Book preview

Present

Chapter 1

Samaira

It's my 27th birthday and I am well aware of the surprise party that Prashant has organized. Well, no offense, but he is very, very predictable, and I am fine with that, I know that it's real life and not a romance novel. The only question is why to call it a surprise when everyone; the birthday girl, her sister, and the invited work friends, already know that a table is booked at a restaurant where we have been multiple times with the same group. I am still trying to be happy, after all, it's my birthday and a smile always helps even when you feel awful for feeling nothing for the surprise planner.

Akshara, my sister, and self-proclaimed life coach, and I have been staying in a cozy two-bedroom apartment near Golf Course Road in Gurgaon; thankfully, we both work in the same city while my parents are enjoying the serenity of Dehradun with my Dad's hundredth transfer if I can count them anymore.

I try to calm my racing mind which isn’t able to decide whether my life is perfect or disastrous at this moment; I think some alcohol may help to balance these thoughts and help me conclude that I am doing just fine! I know I can steal a few minutes before I have no choice but to get ready for my apparent birthday bash. So I take a pint of beer from the fridge and try to sink as much as I can, into the black couch in our living room, gazing out of the window right in front of me, thinking about the time I was excited about getting ready for someone and how it ended, it couldn’t be more horrible. I am scarred for life to stand in front of the full-length mirrors appreciating myself. I wonder how different things could have been, only if! Huh, only if he wouldn’t have slept with another girl just after the most magical kiss of my life.

My chain of thoughts is broken by the doorbell and Akshara has already started scolding me for still being in my shorts when I open the door. I take an off on my birthday every year, whether I have anything to do at home or not, thanks to my company's birthday leave policy and some losers who keep asking people why they have come to the office on their birthday if they decide not to avail the free leave. And for a record, for the last three years, I end up being this mess by the evening just before the surprise unveils.

I plead with Akshara to allow me five more minutes to gulp another pint to gather the courage to say that I cannot pretend that I am happy in this relationship anymore. All I can recall is my incompatibility, differences, and fights in the last few months with Prashant. Well, how did it all start?

I work as a brand manager for India's leading toothpaste for sensitivity and I love my work. Prashant and I, both joined our dream company from different campuses as management trainees three and a half years ago and as we were the only new joiners in the marketing department, so we organically started hanging out together. And thanks to my darling sister, who almost pushed me into accepting that this is my last shot to live a happening life and claim a boyfriend, or else I will have to end up in an arranged marriage. So, these are precisely the reasons I can recall, why we are known to be boyfriend-girlfriend!

Within these three and a half years of my corporate career, I am guilty of taking a promotion every year and expecting to become the lead for the toothpaste portfolio by next year which will further include gum-care toothpaste and dentures and I will have a team to manage; which is an exceptional growth compared to all my batch mates, including Prashant, who could never celebrate on the promotion announcement dates except the one when he also got a letter.

They say that old habits die hard; the need to prove myself is so deeply ingrained in me now that I can’t help but put all my energy into whatever I do. Hey, don’t be judgmental; what better I have to do anyway? Umm, go out, get drunk, get wasted, and have a headache the next day? Yeah, that's there, and I liked it for a while, but nowadays I prefer to stay home and avoid being with my boyfriend…err…does that make me a bad person?

We started on a good note, a few initial months were great, there was something known as excitement, dates, good food, parties, sexting, and then eventually sex. But these things can drag a relationship only thus far without the real ingredient of love, and the last year is proof of it. Things are on a downhill, not sure if my expectations are very high from a man or if he is being an asshole all the time. We would have mutually ended it by now if there wasn’t another angle to it; we work together, in the same department, where everyone is probably expecting us to announce our wedding dates soon.

So the first thing I need to do is change my company, I hate to think about leaving this company, I love this place and my career prospects are great, but I know that it has to be me who leaves first, Prashant is so settled in his life, basically everywhere, that he wouldn’t even feel the need of moving out of his comfort zone, and how do I know this? Well, he never eats anything that isn’t his favorite, doesn’t try new colors for his clothes other than all shades of blue, grey, and brown, and he could never think about a new position to have sex in three years of fucking, forget thinking about changing companies.

I am definitely not saying that it's him alone to be blamed, I blame myself too, and I do blame all the love stories that I have read to be responsible for my miserable love life right now; these stories always make one believe that there are fairy tales and heroes who love their heroines with all their hearts and souls, and there is brain melting sex, and my subconscious self is unable to accept that my story is just an ordinary one. Or better, I am still waiting for a prince charming, I once believed existed, just that he…umm…there are no words to make it sound better, so, basically, he had sex with someone else and disappeared.

And trust me, that's still fine; what's more bizarre is why the hell am I still stuck with what had ended almost ten fucking years ago. How can he still be here, dancing in my head when I have always endeavored to hate him? He ensures that he screws up my happiness on all special occasions, especially my birthday; just like he screwed up back then. I should hate him to my core, and trust me I have tried hard, but this is one thing where I have always failed, always.

He still tells me that no one can keep me happy but him, no one can take care of me but him, no one can kiss me like him and no one can ever make me feel loved like him, the only disappointment is that he never told all of this to me on my face; It was always through his profound eyes, through his sincere gestures and now, through my dreams!

I hear Akshara scream just above my head telling me that I am late, she must be doing this for my best, and she might be feeling that we will bounce back. Not her fault, I have been telling her not to worry, every damn time there are things to worry about!

Unwillingly, I jump out of the softness of the couch and slide into that special birthday dress my sister has bought me, which is shorter than the shorts I am wearing. Fortunately or unfortunately, we wear the same size so there's no escape from her selecting my clothes, no getaway from her penchant for all the layers known as primer, foundation, concealer, blusher, and highlighter; until she is satisfied that her guinea pig looks sexy.

‘Someone is going to kill it tonight and have a break through the roof's sex afterward.’ Akshara is standing behind me and grinning. Seriously? I am sure she is not dumb to think two dull people can break through the roofs of anything. Maybe she is just attempting to make me feel better; so I ignore her comment and do the same, grin back at her.

***

Prashant is waving at us with a stupidly wide smile when we come into his sight while stuffing some tikka in his mouth, sitting at the center of the table, suffocating between other's shoulders. Is it too much to expect that he would stand up and hug me, or wish me birthday with a little whisper in my year and I will smile like a chimpanzee, with all my teeth on display, which will show my happiness to the world? Is it too much to expect?

Well, it occurs to others for sure, so they hug me, compliment me, and wish me; while all I wish right now is to be alone, a beach would be my first preference, but a pub will also do, or my couch is also fine, really, just with lots of beer or wine. Thankfully, the last wish is granted and I gulp more pints of beer and eat some of the starters lying in front of me to kill time.

As soon as I cut the cake, Akshara starts posting her live social media updates, and then suddenly, there's some hooting, I turn around to see Prashant taking out something from his pocket and I freeze. Within a few seconds, he is sitting on one knee with a box in his hand. He stumbles, of course, his so-called friends or you can say the creepy roommates, are trying to save him from falling.

How can he do this? No, not stumbling!

I am talking about the ring. How can he bring a ring when he knows we have been barely talking, has some aunty told him that beta shadi kar lo sab theek ho jayega.

More than ten people are standing around us and expecting me to say yes with happy tears in my eyes while all I have is simmering anger and bewilderment. While I am not an adequately insensitive bitch to turn him down in front of the whole world, but I can’t possibly say Yes.

So I just blurt in a low voice ‘Prashant, can we please talk in private?’

I see everyone's expression changing and Akshara trying to fall into steps with me when I glare at her to stop right there. I don’t need anyone influencing me right now. Five pints of beer will help me speak the truth. I need to speak the truth.

And the truth is that I have never been able to move on!

Chapter 2

Aryan

It's quite unsettling, to accept that the rest of your life may just suck. I haven’t slept at all, and I feel exhausted; both physically and emotionally. And understandably so, it's not every day that my parents drop a bomb on me with an undeniable marriage alliance.

I hit the gym a little early today; this is what I do when I cannot think straight, this is the place where I find peace and solitude. Usually, I hit the ground running by 7.30 AM as soon as the breakfast buffet is set.

Oh, no! I am not on a vacation. This is my work, my passion; I have put everything in it that's left in me. I couldn’t have asked for more, it was my dream to be in the travel and hospitality business, and thanks to my stars I have 3 luxury properties up and running in the last four years. Yes, I have worked my ass off to get here, but then, what else could I possibly do? Nah, I didn’t even wish for more, this was enough.

This property in Goa is the recent one that we have acquired and renovated; I have spent most of my last year here as the other ones can run with minimal intervention from my end now. Now this one is also the closest to my heart, with a serene beach view in South Goa, the sound of waves helps me calm my unwavering nerves at all hours.

Mom and Dad landed unannounced yesterday and they have almost threatened me to say yes to something they have been planning for years; Dad never spoke to me about it, he would always send Mom and it always sounded more like a suggestion earlier; but last night, they told me that they are staying here, until I agree and give them a date for engagement, goes without saying that it was accompanied with a lot of emotional blackmailing!

They have a long list of reasons why they think that this marriage of convenience is the best thing for me, but the top one is that they feel that I will end up lonely and drowning in work at an age when I should be